How to help someone

dc123 said:

Thank you so much for the advice. I definitely need to take a step back cause when he cause I’m sure he can hear the frustration in my voice but I can only be patient with him for so long or tell him thinks are going to be okay so many times. I just don’t know what to do anymore and what he is going through is weighing on me and definitely starting to effect me emotionally and mentally.


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I would say the best thing you can do is do everything possible to learn about depression and anxiety and study how someone truly feels. There are some really great YouTube videos, some artsy, that do a great job of portraying what it feels like to be depressed.

My mom and dad try their best to understand my depression, and while they are supportive, I feel they don’t fully understand. So if you can learn what he’s feeling and try to understand, you will be able to meet him where he’s at, rather than pulling him up to you.

It’s similar to alcoholism where only another alcoholic can understand each other. Same here, when I read something written by a depressed person or watch a video on YouTube, I’m like “wow! That’s exactly how I feel!” And that alone gives me a little hope. So for you to understand that mindset and emotional feeling as much as possible you’ll be better able to understand him and he will notice that.

As for helping him, support groups, therapy, being social, doing the uncomfortable daily even when he doesn’t want to will help. Depression will come back, it will flare up, but I have had moments of (should I dare say) happiness when I am doing the painfully hard things daily.

Best of luck to you on your journey and your brother. This is tough for the both of you!!

Sorry to hear. It must be difficult for both of you. Are you close to him at the moment? Someone should be there with him for support. Some people stop taking care of themselves when they are depressed. You can help take care of him with small tasks like laundry and meals. Give lots of hugs, and be understanding! You guys can make it through this storm.