Im doing bad, i need help

Mandah2386 said:

my panic was becoming manageable until this week and it's back full force, even back to not being able to sleep. I'm still worried about my throat. And lately my blood pressure has been up due to the anxiety which is making me worry about my health more, worrying what this is all doing to my body, worrying about having a stroke or heart attack because of my blood pressure, worrying I will never get better and i will feel like this the rest of my life. This is the worst bout of anxiety I have ever had, just seems to get worse the older I get and it has me so scared. I upped my zoloft yesterday from 50 to 75mg. Hopefully that will calm me down. I might have to take an ativan today to function and I never do that. Since since this started back in Sept I have only taken 3. Please help me. I am so scared. My anxiety is sky high. My husband is at the end of his rope with me, he just wants his normal wife back and I want nothing more than to give it to him. I wish I could snap my fingers and feel better. I feel like I'm doing everything I can, I eat healthy, I exercise, I pray, I try to keep my mind busy and it just seems to still consume me.

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Hi Mandah. Boy, you're going through a rough time. Please try to absorb that all of the testing has been negative for having anything seriously wrong with your throat. I know it's hard with the way your throat feels. But really, it's just your anxiety making you feel like there's something wrong and then it gets heightened when you react so strongly to the possibility of a serious throat issue. I really hope that you can relax somewhat and that your husbands' patience will get better as that doesn't help things.

Mandah2386 said:

my panic was becoming manageable until this week and it's back full force, even back to not being able to sleep. I'm still worried about my throat. And lately my blood pressure has been up due to the anxiety which is making me worry about my health more, worrying what this is all doing to my body, worrying about having a stroke or heart attack because of my blood pressure, worrying I will never get better and i will feel like this the rest of my life. This is the worst bout of anxiety I have ever had, just seems to get worse the older I get and it has me so scared. I upped my zoloft yesterday from 50 to 75mg. Hopefully that will calm me down. I might have to take an ativan today to function and I never do that. Since since this started back in Sept I have only taken 3. Please help me. I am so scared. My anxiety is sky high. My husband is at the end of his rope with me, he just wants his normal wife back and I want nothing more than to give it to him. I wish I could snap my fingers and feel better. I feel like I'm doing everything I can, I eat healthy, I exercise, I pray, I try to keep my mind busy and it just seems to still consume me.

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I'm so sorry to hear how badly you're suffering. I get it, I really, really do. First of all, always remind yourself that this is not your fault. You have a disorder. It is just like other physical illnesses, you didn't choose to be sick, nor were you lack willpower to fight against it to let it happen to you. Since this is a disorder, here is where the tricky part comes in-- Sometimes your brain tells you stuff that you THINK is true, but really isn't. Try to seek advice and perspective from those around you, to analyze whether what you believe is rational or believable.
I know even when your thoughts do not make sense, the dreadfully feeling of everything going wrong still exists. Then embrace that feeling. Accept that this is your disorder's doing, not you. Hang in there. Things will get better.

Mandah, I’m right there with ya, keep being told not worry by doctors, but symptoms continue to be real, I was told last week that my liver enzymes were slightly elevated, (not concerned, says my Dr) of course I freak and my bowels have been ridiculous since then and having all kinds of stomach pain, if I could get a full body scan every month that might ease my mind. Only way I’m getting through days is reaching out to friends and opening up about it. My wife hates me for all this, put or through this for over a year.

Mandah2386 said:

my panic was becoming manageable until this week and it's back full force, even back to not being able to sleep. I'm still worried about my throat. And lately my blood pressure has been up due to the anxiety which is making me worry about my health more, worrying what this is all doing to my body, worrying about having a stroke or heart attack because of my blood pressure, worrying I will never get better and i will feel like this the rest of my life. This is the worst bout of anxiety I have ever had, just seems to get worse the older I get and it has me so scared. I upped my zoloft yesterday from 50 to 75mg. Hopefully that will calm me down. I might have to take an ativan today to function and I never do that. Since since this started back in Sept I have only taken 3. Please help me. I am so scared. My anxiety is sky high. My husband is at the end of his rope with me, he just wants his normal wife back and I want nothing more than to give it to him. I wish I could snap my fingers and feel better. I feel like I'm doing everything I can, I eat healthy, I exercise, I pray, I try to keep my mind busy and it just seems to still consume me.

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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m in a similar situation. When you say you are worried about your throat do you mean it as an anxiety symptom you’re experiencing? I’m asking because I’ve noticed that when my anxiety is bad I get this choking sensation when I eat even small bites of food. I normally have a pretty decent appetite but not when I have bad anxiety. It’s just something awful I’ve noticed lately. I’m not a smoker nor have I ever had esophical problems but sometimes I worry about my throat which only makes my anxiety worse.

I know how this puts such a strain on relationships. It’s hard. I wish I could tell your husband that I know what it’s like to wish so hard that someone was the way they used to be, but you don’t always get that. And it’s so important to appreciate who they are now. I have a brother who was normal for 18 years and now he’s suffering from hallucinations and breaks from reality. Some days it feels like he’s gone, but I remember to appreciate who he is now. Accept it. Or I will never be able to handle it if I keep refusing what is. I can’t change it and that’s okay.