Hey guys! I'm new here and decided to join because I have no idea where else to go. I want to start by saying that any type of relationship has given me anxiety since I was younger. In 4th grade, I'd constantly ask my best friends if they were mad at me. I've always assumed people hated me. My friendships now still give me anxiety but romantic ones are hard for me.
I started dating at 19 (almost 21) and have dated 4 people (Not including my boyfriend). All my past dating experiences have been toxic, abusive, or wrong in some way. I've been sexually assaulted and my ex was emotionally manipulative and abusive. Dating terrifies me. I was gonna stop dating until I met my boyfriend and he's absolutely incredible. He knows about my anxiety and assault and I feel like I can tell him ANYTHING. I've been so comfortable with him since we met in january. Anyways, my anxiety is seriously taking a toll on me. I overthink everything I say because I'm scared I'm a.) being clingy b.) being too distant c.) he hates me. I'm convinced he's losing interest in me especially bc he's acting different, at least i think he is. At first, he texted me good morning every day and now it's only me doing it. He's very affectionate in person and caring and constantly asks if I'm okay but via texting, I feel like he's annoyed with me. I told him yesterday about how i hope he's okay with me being open to him about my anxiety and he said i can always talk to him. I'm just so scared. I overanalyze the way he talks to me, punctuation, etc. If he stops doing something, I assume it's because he's done with me. He asked me what I want to do this weekend and i said anything because i just want to spend time with him and he said he doesn't know either and i feel like we never know what to do and that scares me because what if he thinks i'm super boring? I feel like he's bored of being around me. I know he tells all his best friends about me and wants me to meet his parents and he's so sweet but I'm scared I'm gonna get dumped and it'll be like my past dating experiences. I don't know what to do.
I started dating at 19 (almost 21) and have dated 4 people (Not including my boyfriend). All my past dating experiences have been toxic, abusive, or wrong in some way. I've been sexually assaulted and my ex was emotionally manipulative and abusive. Dating terrifies me. I was gonna stop dating until I met my boyfriend and he's absolutely incredible. He knows about my anxiety and assault and I feel like I can tell him ANYTHING. I've been so comfortable with him since we met in january. Anyways, my anxiety is seriously taking a toll on me. I overthink everything I say because I'm scared I'm a.) being clingy b.) being too distant c.) he hates me. I'm convinced he's losing interest in me especially bc he's acting different, at least i think he is. At first, he texted me good morning every day and now it's only me doing it. He's very affectionate in person and caring and constantly asks if I'm okay but via texting, I feel like he's annoyed with me. I told him yesterday about how i hope he's okay with me being open to him about my anxiety and he said i can always talk to him. I'm just so scared. I overanalyze the way he talks to me, punctuation, etc. If he stops doing something, I assume it's because he's done with me. He asked me what I want to do this weekend and i said anything because i just want to spend time with him and he said he doesn't know either and i feel like we never know what to do and that scares me because what if he thinks i'm super boring? I feel like he's bored of being around me. I know he tells all his best friends about me and wants me to meet his parents and he's so sweet but I'm scared I'm gonna get dumped and it'll be like my past dating experiences. I don't know what to do.
