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How to make friends?

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s89ilver

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Hello everyone,
Im Carlos and I have been suffering from social anxiety as long as i remember. I was able to mitigate it by going to a smalll high school. i got lucky and found a group of friends that i stuck to for my dear life.

Its been 8 months since i graduated high school, i am now at a very large university and find my self constantly depressed because i cant make any new friends. Has anybody else here felt hat way?

How can i get better at interacting with people? I always feel so self conscious and vunerable, and that makes it hard for me to make friends. Any tips to deal with this?

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Rinka

Rinka

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Hi @s89ilver welcome to our forum :).
As for making friends, I suppose it’s always harder to find people in bigger towns or university. Which can be paradox, one might think, more people more chances to make friends, but the opposite is the case.
The bigger the city or university, the more people keep their distance from each other.
What might help would be finding groups or clubs for your interests.
I think I suggested it to someone else before, but if you check online for, I don’t know, board game clubs or RPG clubs, or what ever your interest is, then it will be easier to communicate with people, because you are already in a group that shares the same interests.
 
janemariesayed

janemariesayed

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Hiya @s89ilver and welcome. Try not to worry about making friends as you will come over as desperate. There will be many groups and activities at your uni. You could join something that interests you and others will be joining too. You would then meet people who have the same interests as you as Rinka says. This should make it easier to find something to talk about.

Be a listener and ask people about themselves. Nothing too personal and I'm sure you will make friends in no time at all.
 
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XmasCarol52

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s89ilver said:
Hello everyone,
Im Carlos and I have been suffering from social anxiety as long as i remember. I was able to mitigate it by going to a smalll high school. i got lucky and found a group of friends that i stuck to for my dear life.

Its been 8 months since i graduated high school, i am now at a very large university and find my self constantly depressed because i cant make any new friends. Has anybody else here felt hat way?

How can i get better at interacting with people? I always feel so self conscious and vunerable, and that makes it hard for me to make friends. Any tips to deal with this?

Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk
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Hi wand welcome to the family i would say you made a big step coming here because you will make plenty of friends here.I think sometimes we have trouble with making friends because of our illness I know I feel that people will think I am strange or weird.I am not a little crazy maybe but a good crazy.
 
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XmasCarol52

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janemariesayed said:
I love your craziness, Carol! Keep it up and don't ever change!
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Thank you ,hey we also need to have a sense of humor with this illness or we will end up in a institution.I for one do not plan on going into one.
 
janemariesayed

janemariesayed

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XmasCarol52 said:
Thank you ,hey we also need to have a sense of humor with this illness or we will end up in a institution.I for one do not plan on going into one.
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Me too! When I was under the crisis team, I was scared they were going to take my dogs away from me. One woman told me that they do check with people who have mental illnesses that they are looking after their pets okay. She even had a dog living with her that they had taken away from someone. I told her if they took my dogs away that I would gouge their eyes out. Then they would never see another dog to be able to take it away, but she told me that my dogs were well looked after and okay.
 
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XmasCarol52

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janemariesayed said:
Me too! When I was under the crisis team, I was scared they were going to take my dogs away from me. One woman told me that they do check with people who have mental illnesses that they are looking after their pets okay. She even had a dog living with her that they had taken away from someone. I told her if they took my dogs away that I would gouge their eyes out. Then they would never see another dog to be able to take it away, but she told me that my dogs were well looked after and okay.
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the things we have to go through with a mental illness,it just cant seem to get easy for us can it?Why are the mentally ill such easy Targets? I dont know if you heard about this but a young man this past week came to this school with a rifle and killed 17 people guess what he is mentally ill.This tragedy could have been pervented he left messages all over facebook i believe saying he had a gun and was going to kill people they knew this and nobody said or did a thing.He is only 19 he was known to have some problems and yes he is mentally ill,however not everyone who kills has a mental illness and that pisses me off whenever someone attacks someone that person has to have a mental illness or no they dont you do not have to be mentally ill to kill someone.Mental illness gets a bad name.I hate it to when they hear mental illness we get called names like crazy a loony stuff like that.ugh
 
janemariesayed

janemariesayed

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XmasCarol52 said:
the things we have to go through with a mental illness,it just cant seem to get easy for us can it?Why are the mentally ill such easy Targets? I dont know if you heard about this but a young man this past week came to this school with a rifle and killed 17 people guess what he is mentally ill.This tragedy could have been pervented he left messages all over facebook i believe saying he had a gun and was going to kill people they knew this and nobody said or did a thing.He is only 19 he was known to have some problems and yes he is mentally ill,however not everyone who kills has a mental illness and that pisses me off whenever someone attacks someone that person has to have a mental illness or no they dont you do not have to be mentally ill to kill someone.Mental illness gets a bad name.I hate it to when they hear mental illness we get called names like crazy a loony stuff like that.ugh
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Yes I heard about it. It's all over the news here in the UK. I actually think that every single person on this planet is capable of killing someone. We just mostly don't think that is the answer though. No all murderers are mentally ill but there must be something in them that clicks.

The problem with what he was saying on Facebook is that they won't do anything unless he actually does something. The police should look at those who threaten to do things though and take them straight into therapy.
 
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XmasCarol52

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janemariesayed said:
Yes I heard about it. It's all over the news here in the UK. I actually think that every single person on this planet is capable of killing someone. We just mostly don't think that is the answer though. No all murderers are mentally ill but there must be something in them that clicks.

The problem with what he was saying on Facebook is that they won't do anything unless he actually does something. The police should look at those who threaten to do things though and take them straight into therapy.
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Ya I know the cops couldnt have done something but someone should have told somebody what he was up to,maybe this would have happened.Theu might have put him away ,his mother died lik e only two weeks before this incident they say he was a troubled kid .Ya he was sick .I just get so tired of hearing that every single time there is a murder or something mental illness is to blame.They treat mental illness like it is a crime or something
 
janemariesayed

janemariesayed

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XmasCarol52 said:
Ya I know the cops couldnt have done something but someone should have told somebody what he was up to,maybe this would have happened.Theu might have put him away ,his mother died lik e only two weeks before this incident they say he was a troubled kid .Ya he was sick .I just get so tired of hearing that every single time there is a murder or something mental illness is to blame.They treat mental illness like it is a crime or something
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Mental illness has been shunned upon since the beginning of time. It used to be thought that those who had a mental illness were possessed by the devil and I think that is where it originates from.
 
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