So earlier tonight we decided to have an all-guys game night with our male friends, and it went south real quick...
We played a trivia game, and I teamed up with one of my best friends, who I think I've mentioned before (he's studying rocket science and wants to be an aerospace engineer at NASA).
For some reason that made everyone else really mad and salty. One of Dave's friends was like "You can't have the two smartest people in the room on the same team, that's totally unfair."
I'm not sure if calling me one of the "smartest people in the room" is a fair assessment tbh, but I do know a lot of random information and I usually win at trivia. When I was in college (undergrad) I always won the games at Trivia Night and I was kind of notorious for it. I'm not sure if I'm actually really all that smart or if I just retain information easily. I think I've mentioned before that I enjoy researching and studying.
Anyway, what happened after that was even worse- while we were picking teams, some of the guys were like "We should put Dave on Lukas's team because he's really dumb and that will cancel it out."
That is so freaking rude! I got really annoyed and told them that it was really uncalled for and that Dave isn't dumb. His feelings were very hurt too.
So to make a long story short, we ended up winning anyway, and that pissed everyone off, so they asked for a rematch to make sure it wasn't a fluke, and we still won. Some people were being really poor sports about losing so Dave made it worse by getting all amped up after we won and being like "Kiss my ass!"
Sometimes the games we play get really out of hand. Like one of the games we played was one where someone had to speak with a certain accent and the rest of us had to guess what the accent was... it got racist real fast. I expected better from our friends. Like I honestly do think there's a way to play a game like that without it turning into a display of cultural misappropriation. I'm also kind of annoyed with Dave because I expect much better from him and he was kind of encouraging it and some of the things he said were wildly inappropriate too. Sigh...
Another game we play a lot with our friends is one where we have to draw pictures and select a quote to go with them. This was the one that pissed me off the most because people were making really kind of effed-up gay jokes. Like, really? You're going to make gay jokes in a room where about half the people are gay? So insensitive. I'm gay and I sometimes think gay jokes are funny, but not when they're about AIDS and BDSM and sexual assault (which is what some of these jokes were about! Omg!!!)! It was even worse because the guys who made the jokes were straight too. Smh.
My poor little friend, the one who was the Kittybat for Halloween, ended up crying because he got triggered.
My rocket science friend is asexual, and he got really upset with the rest of us for making sexual jokes. I feel bad because I always forget that he doesn't like talking about sex, and Dave and I are pretty candid about sexual stuff so it comes up a lot when we're playing games or talking with a group of close friends. My friend doesn't get angry, but he gets very uncomfortable and sometimes has to leave the room, and I feel like I'm being insensitive and a bad friend. I just don't know if there's a way to avoid dirty jokes when you're in a room full of young men.
At one point, one of my friends took me aside and said something like "I can't believe you're actually marrying Dave, he's so temperamental!" That wasn't the first time one of my friends has said something like that about him, and it really bothers me when people I'm close to say things like that. I understand that Dave has way more personality than what the average person can deal with, and yes, he can be a bit temperamental, but it gets to me when my friends and family voice it to me.
I don't know what to do about our friends' behavior because I'm afraid they're going to be like this at our wedding. It's going to be even worse when they're all drunk, omg.
Any advice about how to deal with them going forward would be much appreciated.
We played a trivia game, and I teamed up with one of my best friends, who I think I've mentioned before (he's studying rocket science and wants to be an aerospace engineer at NASA).
For some reason that made everyone else really mad and salty. One of Dave's friends was like "You can't have the two smartest people in the room on the same team, that's totally unfair."
I'm not sure if calling me one of the "smartest people in the room" is a fair assessment tbh, but I do know a lot of random information and I usually win at trivia. When I was in college (undergrad) I always won the games at Trivia Night and I was kind of notorious for it. I'm not sure if I'm actually really all that smart or if I just retain information easily. I think I've mentioned before that I enjoy researching and studying.
Anyway, what happened after that was even worse- while we were picking teams, some of the guys were like "We should put Dave on Lukas's team because he's really dumb and that will cancel it out."
That is so freaking rude! I got really annoyed and told them that it was really uncalled for and that Dave isn't dumb. His feelings were very hurt too.
So to make a long story short, we ended up winning anyway, and that pissed everyone off, so they asked for a rematch to make sure it wasn't a fluke, and we still won.
Some people were being really poor sports about losing so Dave made it worse by getting all amped up after we won and being like "Kiss my ass!" Sometimes the games we play get really out of hand. Like one of the games we played was one where someone had to speak with a certain accent and the rest of us had to guess what the accent was... it got racist real fast. I expected better from our friends. Like I honestly do think there's a way to play a game like that without it turning into a display of cultural misappropriation. I'm also kind of annoyed with Dave because I expect much better from him and he was kind of encouraging it and some of the things he said were wildly inappropriate too.
Sigh...Another game we play a lot with our friends is one where we have to draw pictures and select a quote to go with them. This was the one that pissed me off the most because people were making really kind of effed-up gay jokes. Like, really? You're going to make gay jokes in a room where about half the people are gay? So insensitive. I'm gay and I sometimes think gay jokes are funny, but not when they're about AIDS and BDSM and sexual assault (which is what some of these jokes were about! Omg!!!)! It was even worse because the guys who made the jokes were straight too. Smh.
My poor little friend, the one who was the Kittybat for Halloween, ended up crying because he got triggered.
My rocket science friend is asexual, and he got really upset with the rest of us for making sexual jokes. I feel bad because I always forget that he doesn't like talking about sex, and Dave and I are pretty candid about sexual stuff so it comes up a lot when we're playing games or talking with a group of close friends. My friend doesn't get angry, but he gets very uncomfortable and sometimes has to leave the room, and I feel like I'm being insensitive and a bad friend.
I just don't know if there's a way to avoid dirty jokes when you're in a room full of young men.At one point, one of my friends took me aside and said something like "I can't believe you're actually marrying Dave, he's so temperamental!" That wasn't the first time one of my friends has said something like that about him, and it really bothers me when people I'm close to say things like that. I understand that Dave has way more personality than what the average person can deal with, and yes, he can be a bit temperamental, but it gets to me when my friends and family voice it to me.
I don't know what to do about our friends' behavior because I'm afraid they're going to be like this at our wedding. It's going to be even worse when they're all drunk, omg.
Any advice about how to deal with them going forward would be much appreciated.
