Terrified. Found a breast lump
- Thread starter NKS
- Start date
I have a great friend who was diagnosed with BC nearly two years ago and where was a sense of urgency from the moment it was spotted on her u/s that I'm not sensing you experienced. But I understand what you're going through. I was so terrified and read into every little thing. I actually have to go for another ultrasound next week for the 6 month checkup following my biopsy. and even I'm now like what if? it took 8 days for my biopsy results to come back and I was a mess, you hear me!! lol. I was secretly crying, how am I going to tell my kids, I'm a single mom, planning the wigs I'd have to buy. Just going there (and meanwhile, I had a friend who really went through and is totally fine). Please pull yourself out of that rabbit hole. The only thing that worked was watching the dumbest television shows, anything to get my mind off of things. You will be okay! You will. 
Lol! My therapist always tells me “you know, it’s not going to work if you just lick and old pill.” HahaI think you actually may be me. I take half and mine expired too
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I think you just read my mind!! I was fretting that the path to a cancer diagnosis always begins like this: lump/mammo/u-s/biopsy. Same path I’m on. It feels like the flip of a coin that can go either way. It’s really freaking me out. But then I saw this reply. You’re right. I didn’t get any sense of urgency. I wasn’t told to make an appointment today. Just call and schedule. I mean, I was reading into the tech’s “oh no, definitely not” reply about it being a cyst, but she didn’t say anything about getting it done asap. And when I called to make the appointment 2+ hours later, they still didn’t even have the orders in to the system yet. My brain says they’re just behind and lazy, but maybe if they did have concerns, they would have at least had me processed so that I could schedule an appointment asap. Right?? I mean, what would urgency look like?I have a great friend who was diagnosed with BC nearly two years ago and where was a sense of urgency from the moment it was spotted on her u/s that I'm not sensing you experienced. But I understand what you're going through. I was so terrified and read into every little thing. I actually have to go for another ultrasound next week for the 6 month checkup following my biopsy. and even I'm now like what if? it took 8 days for my biopsy results to come back and I was a mess, you hear me!! lol. I was secretly crying, how am I going to tell my kids, I'm a single mom, planning the wigs I'd have to buy. Just going there (and meanwhile, I had a friend who really went through and is totally fine). Please pull yourself out of that rabbit hole. The only thing that worked was watching the dumbest television shows, anything to get my mind off of things. You will be okay! You will.
Thank you for sharing the story of your friend. I’m glad she is doing ok. I know a lot of my anxiety has to do with me thinking I’m doomed and no matter what I do, the boogie man is going to find and get me. So I am hypervigilant and militaristic with my health out of fear. But then I think “it’s no use! I’m doomed and nothing I do matters.” So I see everything with my health through those doom-colored glasses. It’s terrifying and exhausting.
What did your biopsy reveal? Was it a fibroadenoma? I had one of those removed ages ago because it was pretty big. Keep us posted to your follow-up. I’m happy to virtually hold your hand like you’re doing to me.
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Aw, you’re sweet! With my friend, there was no question she was dealing with something serious. Doctor was called into look at the u/s before they let her leave and told her to get a biopsy asap - she knew. When she got the call with the results, her husband was like you’re ready. Everything moved fast - and they knew. She’s living her best life now and just bought a beach house.
yup, I had a fibroadenoma. And I too see everything from doom-colored glasses. Then I feel sorry for myself that I would have to go through treatment alone since I’m single etc then I have to snap myself out of it. Life is good. No reason to worry until you have a reason. We’re all on this site because we struggle with this but we’ll get through it! Everything will be okay.
yup, I had a fibroadenoma. And I too see everything from doom-colored glasses. Then I feel sorry for myself that I would have to go through treatment alone since I’m single etc then I have to snap myself out of it. Life is good. No reason to worry until you have a reason. We’re all on this site because we struggle with this but we’ll get through it! Everything will be okay.
Thank you! This helps. I have been obsessing and overanalyzing every gesture, word, glance, etc. from the techs and docs to see if they seemed urgent. I don’t think so. The radiologist didn’t even come in. Tech just showed him the images and she came back in with a lab slip. I tell myself “if there was something concerning, wouldn’t he have explained it to me? Or looked himself? Or had the tech tell me to call right away for the biopsy?” Total OCD here.
I’ve been feeling numb and not panicked these last two days. But today I am convinced I’m facing my last normal weekend before my “new normal” nightmare becomes reality. I’m now very anxious about the biopsy tomorrow. I hate health anxiety, but I prefer my “crazy brain” to having a legit health issue. I’m just exhausted thinking the countdown has begun.
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You are so sweet to check on me. Thank you! The biopsy was surprisingly painless physically. Mentally, I imploded. I read into everything—every word or look or action—from the techs and docs. I didn’t get any sense of urgency, but I was too afraid to even breathe. I also had a titanium marker placed in the spot, which also freaked me out. Metal? In my body? Thursday I was just knackered. Friday and the weekend, I felt a bit better. I was physically bruised up and the whole thing looks pretty awful, but mentally I was able to pretend and calm down. I knew no calls would come that soon, so I could relax. But now it’s Monday and I feel like I’m on death watch. I feel sick all over again and I’m so scared. I feel like my brain is listing off all the reasons it could be cancer. My sister’s aunt in law just had the same thing—a lump, docs scanned the area and lymph nodes, took four samples of the lump. Turned out to be nothing. I am praying for that. But I’m just terrified.
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Phillies Phan
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FWIW, bad news is almost always delivered right away. Typically the doctors, techs etc know when there is a high likelihood of cancer, and that sample goes to the top of the list to analyze. The fact that it has been almost a week with no call is a very good sign. You’ll see. Everything’s going to be OK.
Agreed!
I read somewhere that women shouldn’t even have mammograms because of the high rate of anxiety they cause because usually what they find turns out to be benign. I’m not saying not to have mammograms; just trying to reassure you that most likely it will be benign. I went through the same horror two years ago. Two biopsies, two pieces of titanium. Lots of fear and terror. And everything was fine. But the panic caused me to skip my mammogram last year. PTSD. Went this year and everything was fine. Sending hugs and good wishes.
Thank you. I had a huge scare yesterday (Monday). I had the biopsy Thursday, mammo and ultrasound a few days prior on Monday. I was told results would take 3-5 days. Well, yesterday, I missed a call from my doc. I panicked thinking it had to be bad because there was no way they rushed benign results. I literally got sick before I was able to call my doc back. Turns out, they were just checking to see if I scheduled the biopsy yet because they just now got the mammo report that recommended a biopsy. They were just checking to see if I had gotten that info and already made the appointment. I was wiped out for the rest of the day after that anxious hour!! Now I pray the results take a while because I too believe no news is good news. Do they really fast track the ones they aren’t sure about? Can they tell? I didn’t get any bad vibes or sense of urgency from the techs or the doc doing the biopsy, but then again I was comatose with fear so I didn’t really trust my perceptions.
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I have done extensive research on that as well and have seen so much confusing information. I mean, it just goes to show how backwards and slow our country is with women’s healthcare. I read the book “Overdaignosed” and it was eye opening. I got the titanium too. It freaked me out! I worry about everything and now I feel I’ll have some negative side effect from that. I honestly don’t know how all of this isn’t going to cause me ptsd. I had a very traumatic miscarriage 9 months ago so I’m already not doing well. And I wasn’t doing well before they in terms of my health anxiety. Ug! Thank you for sharing your story and experience. It helps a lot.
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Thank you all for checking in on me! I find you all even more calming than my latest therapy session. I appreciate all of you! I know this is stressful on most anyone, but for those of us with health anxiety who pretty much spend our entire lives avoiding docs because we fear getting the “inevitable death sentence” or we spend all the time in doc offices trying to get confirmation we aren’t dying, it is hell. I have been terrified of breast cancer for years and years. The more I think, the more I panic. So I just keep trying to stay busy. But it’s so hard. I can’t plan anything because I fear I’ll be swept up in cancer treatment by next week. I really, really miss the times when my health anxieties and panics weren’t anything the outside world thought was legitimate. I kinda liked being able to tell myself “it’s just anxiety.” But nobody biopsies anxiety. I am glad you all are here.
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