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Advice on boys

Grace360

Grace360

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So I went to Olive garden for my grandmas birthday. Had a server. Thought he was cute. I want to like hit on people and shoot my shot however. Here's the issue.

I know the facade people put on in customer service jobs and especially serving. I wanted to shoot my shot. I didn't while there because I didn't wanna be rejected infront of them and I have terrible social anxiety.
I am apart of a group on Facebook and asked some randos how should I go about maybe getting his snapchat. So basically 5 minutes in and everyone on the forum is making me doubt everything I observed. Saying that they worked in customer service and its a facade or that it would be creepy or to not pursue it and basically just making me feel like a weird creep who thinks every server is flirting with them.
So now I dunno what to think about it. I mean be honest. Should I find a way to ask him or leave him alone? He could be just being a server after all.
 
M

MATD

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Being polite to customers is part of the job, it’s required, it’s good customer relations. However, if you felt like flirting a bit, that’s not a bad thing. It’s good that you put yourself out there, at least you tried. Whether he reciprocates or not is up to him of course. Don’t second guess yourself. Many times we reach out to others and it doesn’t result in the desired outcome, but that’s how life goes Grace. The main point is you tried and that’s all one can do. Give yourself a pat on the back for it. Try not to over think it and just accept it for what it was. You did good. These little instances in life is what builds confidence in one’s self if they look at it in the right perspective. I hope you do. If you find an opportunity to follow up, then do so, ever so gently. It might work out, it might not. That’s the gamble in life we all take. Don’t let it discourage you though. There are many fish out there in the sea. All one can do is try, and you did.
 
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Cuchculan

Cuchculan

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Nothing wrong with flirting. We all can do it. I always do it. Difference between flirting and actually hitting on a person. Have to send out different vibes. So they know you are not just flirting. If we just flirt, they will take it as all innocent play. So you could continue to flirt to begin with. Then move it up a gear. Throw something in there that will show him you are game ball. Game ball meaning up to been asked out. Or go beyond flirting.
 
Grace360

Grace360

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Cuchculan said:
Nothing wrong with flirting. We all can do it. I always do it. Difference between flirting and actually hitting on a person. Have to send out different vibes. So they know you are not just flirting. If we just flirt, they will take it as all innocent play. So you could continue to flirt to begin with. Then move it up a gear. Throw something in there that will show him you are game ball. Game ball meaning up to been asked out. Or go beyond flirting.
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Well I was thinking about it but the whole facebook group kinda shot me down. Fast. Guess its better that I leave it alone. They pretty much all called it creepy and that I shouldn't try and hit on people who work in customer service. Not like I'm tone deaf. I work in customer service.
 
Cuchculan

Cuchculan

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People have their own opinions. Me? I love to flirt. Is just a bit of fun. No harm in it at all. Not creepy at all. If it leads to something else, then happy days for you. Once both people are into it and happy with it, it is doing nobody any harm at all.
 
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MATD

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Grace, you didn’t commit some kind of sin. Everybody does it, regardless of what the FB group says. It was not creepy, it was the most natural thing. Maybe this FB group isn’t a good place to get advice. As long as there are men and women on the earth, there will be flirtations and attractions, it doesn’t matter what the setting is, it’s just what human nature does. You still did something natural and put yourself out there. For that you should give yourself credit. You didn’t do anything to bring embarrassment to yourself, you just did what humans do. Trust your own judgment here. You saw, you liked what you saw and you reached out. That takes guts. Own it and be proud of it.
 
Grace360

Grace360

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For a reference here are just some replies I got. Basically I felt like a creep even though all I did was admire from afar. I didn't say or do anything or even asked for his number. I didn't even tell them what they did that was sweet but whatever. Doesn't help my self esteem but its probably true anyway. Probably just needed the tip because it was near closing time.
 
J

Jonathan123

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Grace360 said:
Well I was thinking about it but the whole facebook group kinda shot me down. Fast. Guess its better that I leave it alone. They pretty much all called it creepy and that I shouldn't try and hit on people who work in customer service. Not like I'm tone deaf. I work in customer service.
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Oh Dearie me!!! Facebook and Google have caused more pain and heartache than any other media outlet. As well as all the other rubbish on social media. Grace!! You are paying too much attention to what others think. These are only THEIR opinions and, if unkind or hurtful take, them from whence they come. From ignorant people, and there are a lot of them on social media! You have had some excellent advice on here from mature people, not stupid kids. Has it occurred to you that the guy may be as hesitant as you are. When younger I also found it difficult to communicate with girls. That soon changed. :):)
Flirting is the fun part of life, so enjoy it and don't be afraid of it.
 
Grace360

Grace360

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Jonathan123 said:
Oh Dearie me!!! Facebook and Google have caused more pain and heartache than any other media outlet. As well as all the other rubbish on social media. Grace!! You are paying too much attention to what others think. These are only THEIR opinions and, if unkind or hurtful take, them from whence they come. From ignorant people, and there are a lot of them on social media! You have had some excellent advice on here from mature people, not stupid kids. Has it occurred to you that the guy may be as hesitant as you are. When younger I also found it difficult to communicate with girls. That soon changed. :):)
Flirting is the fun part of life, so enjoy it and don't be afraid of it.
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He seemed older. I saw tats but I'm 17, even if he is a young adult it is legal in my state if hes not too old. I dunno. I didn't shoot my shot so I won't risk it. If I go back I don't wanna be the creep they think I am.
 
Cuchculan

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If you go back, you don't have to let any of them know you went back.
 
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MATD

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Grace you asked our opinion. We gave you our opinion in good faith, we have no reason to bring you down, our opinions are based on life experience and knowledge. It’s up to you as to what you really want to believe.
 
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