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esophageal cancer fear, please help me

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goldenfeather

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hi. i have posted about this issue before. i have this weird feeling of something stuck in my throat/esophagus that just wont go away. ive been to the er two times. i have been seen by 4 different doctors by now; i have had a chest x ray, blood test, chest ultrasound, heart ultrasound, urine test and according to the doctors they all came back normal and its nothing to worry about but i cant for the life of me i just cant shake off the fear i have, it just doesn't go away and im terrified that i have oesophagal cancer and the doctors missed it. would the chest ultrasound have showed something if i had it????? im having a barium swallow test next week. but i looked up information online and apparently a lot of these give out false negatives. please if you can tell me something to help me i will appreciate it forever. those are the most terrifying weeks of my entire life. im just so scared i cant sleep or eat properly. help me please.
 
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avocado

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Nothing anyone says here will help you. None of us are doctors. The best I can say is that feeling like something is stuck in your throat is a very common anxiety symptom. The fact that you've been to four different doctors and have done all these tests is enough evidence to say that you probably don't have cancer.

If you want to reduce the anxiety, you should practice radical acceptance of uncertainty. If you start feeling anxious, just tell yourself, maybe I do, maybe I don't have cancer and just get on with your day.
 
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goldenfeather

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i started therapy last week and an er doctor put me on xanax to help with the anxiety... ive also been feeling tired and exhausted more easily, as well as headaches, but i guess thats maybe because of the meds, anxiety, and the fact that ive been going out for walks often because its what therapists recommended. im still having a really hard time coping and cant stop googling things (therapists forbid me from it, and i only resisted for 4 days... y'all know how hard it is what im talking about) and oh my god i just cant stop thinking im dying. all. the. time. ive also been worried about leukemia, brain cancer etc but oesophagal cancer is my main worry right now. i cant find any info online on wether the ultrasound would have seen anything. the doctor who did it is someone i know and trust and yet i cant keep calm. oh and i also had a slight fever. that worries me also. overall my temperature has been higher since the covid jab. could that be a symptom of anything??
 
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avocado

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Sounds like textbook anxiety to me. I have OCD (main themes are health anxiety, fear of schizophrenia, harm) so I can totally relate. This has happened to me multiple times in the past- the excessive googling, feeling symptoms, sleep issues, fatigue, headaches, etc.

You need to have some discipline and force yourself to stop googling for reassurance, it's just a compulsion that is feeding your anxiety cycle! I just saw your post on someone with heart anxiety. You told them that it was just textbook anxiety and that they shouldn't worry. Sometimes, we need to talk to ourselves as if we are talking to friends.

One thing that has helped me is after thinking I have something, waiting 2 weeks to see if it resolves itself. And in those two weeks, doing absolutely no googling, no reassurance thinking, and try my best to just continue on with what I normally do. 99% of the time there is nothing wrong and it goes away so over time I trained my brain to not react so strongly to anything that "feels weird." At the end of the day, you have to accept uncertainty, and be ok with not knowing.
 
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goldenfeather

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avocado said:
Sounds like textbook anxiety to me. I have OCD (main themes are health anxiety, fear of schizophrenia, harm) so I can totally relate. This has happened to me multiple times in the past- the excessive googling, feeling symptoms, sleep issues, fatigue, headaches, etc.

You need to have some discipline and force yourself to stop googling for reassurance, it's just a compulsion that is feeding your anxiety cycle! I just saw your post on someone with heart anxiety. You told them that it was just textbook anxiety and that they shouldn't worry. Sometimes, we need to talk to ourselves as if we are talking to friends.

One thing that has helped me is after thinking I have something, waiting 2 weeks to see if it resolves itself. And in those two weeks, doing absolutely no googling, no reassurance thinking, and try my best to just continue on with what I normally do. 99% of the time there is nothing wrong and it goes away so over time I trained my brain to not react so strongly to anything that "feels weird." At the end of the day, you have to accept uncertainty, and be ok with not knowing.
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this has been going on for more than a month now i think, its probably the worse anxiety episode ive had in my entire life. i woke up in the middle of the night shaking and crying... it was horrible. just this feeling of constant doom. of sadness. of feeling like there's no hope and that i will 100% surely die...... i really want it to stop because i am unable to feel any joy from life this way. i have a tremendous fear of uncertainty, i always want to control everything... i know i cant but its really hard not to crave it.... my legs hurt now and all my brain says is "youre gonna die. this is the proof. you feel unwell, youre gonna die"
 
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Vandelsrock21

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goldenfeather said:
this has been going on for more than a month now i think, its probably the worse anxiety episode ive had in my entire life. i woke up in the middle of the night shaking and crying... it was horrible. just this feeling of constant doom. of sadness. of feeling like there's no hope and that i will 100% surely die...... i really want it to stop because i am unable to feel any joy from life this way. i have a tremendous fear of uncertainty, i always want to control everything... i know i cant but its really hard not to crave it.... my legs hurt now and all my brain says is "youre gonna die. this is the proof. you feel unwell, youre gonna die"
Click to expand...
Stress and anxiety make everything you feel worse. You become over focused and emotionally drained. You arnt going to die
 
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avocado

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goldenfeather said:
this has been going on for more than a month now i think, its probably the worse anxiety episode ive had in my entire life. i woke up in the middle of the night shaking and crying... it was horrible. just this feeling of constant doom. of sadness. of feeling like there's no hope and that i will 100% surely die...... i really want it to stop because i am unable to feel any joy from life this way. i have a tremendous fear of uncertainty, i always want to control everything... i know i cant but its really hard not to crave it.... my legs hurt now and all my brain says is "youre gonna die. this is the proof. you feel unwell, youre gonna die"
Click to expand...
That was me for ~1 year during my senior year of college. I felt stuck in life and lost a so many months to OCD and anxiety. It really sucks. You have to get to the point where you're so sick and tired of it you don't care if anymore and then you'll start working towards recovery. Those two years I will never get back. That's just something to think about!
 
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MATD

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You said the answer yourself, you are so scared that nothing sinks in. It’s not denial, but the inability to use reason because your anxiety is so high.
 
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Sweet T

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Goldenfeather, we have all been in your place. Your anxiety is trying to help you survive. That’s what your brain does. But sometimes the brain gets overstimulated because of trauma or something. Then it’s like a smoke alarm that goes off every time the stove comes on. It’s overreacting before your logic brain can have time to figure things out.

My therapist had me write down how many Illnesses I’ve “had” since my anxiety ramped up a few years ago. I got to 42 then stopped. All were life altering or life ending. But I’ve never actually had any of these.

The only solution is to ask for help from a qualified therapist. Best of luck. You can do it.
 
Doug97

Doug97

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I had the exact same symptoms when I was younger. The doctor diagnosed globus hystericus, which is a known condition related to anxiety. It went away eventually.
 
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Marnie

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My daughter gets this from time to time - shes always sure theres something stuck - its all anxiety which doesnt help you
I know, but I always feel better when I hear of others who have the same symptoms
 
matisworried

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this has always been one of my biggest fear. I've had the same symptom off and on for years and I'm still kicking. this could be anxiety, you could be dehydrated, hell... you could even be creating this sensation in your head.

really do what you can go trust your doctors and stay off the internet. Google is no substitute for a medical degree.
 
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