Why aren't relaxation techniques working at all for me?

Some people find these kinds of things harder than other people. I know I hate the whole deep breathing sort of thing. Sit in the one place and just try and stay still. Can be next to impossible for some of us. The mind can begin to wander and we think of the bad things in our lives. I prefer to relax as I do things. I might read a book. Relax as I am reading. Play a game. Relax as I am doing that. Rather than sit in the one spot and do nothing. Have to find out what works best for you. Easy to get frustrated when what is meant to work does not work. It can really annoy you. Play around with ideas a bit. Find something you like to do. Let that be your relaxation period. When things are not working as they tell us they should we can try and force it to work. That does nothing at all. Just makes us even more angry. So find out what works for you. Reading. Writing. Gardening. Who knows. I just find to be doing something is better.

oh sorry you are feeling this way- i know how you feel its tough fighting and it gets tiring sometimes. being self aware plays a big part in dealing with anxiety or depression. what i use is the acronym UB HALt. u stands for uncomfortable. B stands for bored H stands for hungrary a stands for angry l stands for lonely and t stands for tired. fulfilling your needs is very important. we often dont know what is going on with us bc we havent checked the basic needs. also heath care rlly helps. also journalling- writing down what you are feeling on paper
making your bed, shinning light into ur room.


remember making a conscious effort to get better will make you feel better

remember that you are aloud to have a daay where you dont make any progress. always be kind to yourself

hope this helps

People can become down when they have anxiety. Down because their anxiety is stopping them from been able to do things. Is like a deep, dark hole they can fall into. If their anxiety can lift, the depressive side of things should lift as well. Maybe you are simply trying too hard. You have this person tell you that this, that and the other should work and you thought ' great '. You tried them all and nothing seemed to work at all. What this person probably should have told you is it takes time. A lot of time in some cases. Took me years to get some things to work. Many failed attempts. Wondering would I get anywhere. But I kept pn going. I didn't quit. Tried not to get frustrated. That is the main thing that can keep a person doing. Frustration. You try something and see no results. But like most things, you just have to keep on trying it. Over and over again. Until it becomes part of you. Probably work when you least expect it to.

I have been around the block with my anxiety for about 30 years now. First 10 of those years I was lost. Nothing seemed to want to work. I tried everything. Guess we get a lucky break some day and something goes right for us. We learn as we go. What works and what does not work. Once we find what works we can use that and stop fearing the anxiety. I wish there was a miracle answer. That things will get better next week. Something so deep rooted has to be undone. How we do that we have to try and find out. The theory is all there. But using it is the hardest part of all. There is a way back. Never give up hope. Just how to get there is what you have to find out. Like I say it might come when you least expect it. Might read something in a book. See something on TV. I done a lot of reading years ago. Explored every culture out there. Odd as that might sound. From Native American to Buddhism. They all carry a little something. Just keep on searching.

suzzeeb said:

Thank you for your encouragement. I know you are right. How can things that I've had pretty much a lifetime just go away after a few months of changing things.

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Your situation sounds very difficult to endure. The medications can sometimes mess up the body's natural healing mechanisms and chemistry.

I am going through a lot myself, and I have arrived at a situation, where almost everything scares me to some extent. Maybe I am too long on the computer now, when I am supposed to try to sleep. Should I eat or not? Should I brush my teeth before a short nap? But brushing more than 2 times a day is dangerous. What if my sleeping rhythm changes, and my awake-time is not consistent, how do I calculate '2 times a day' in that situation? So scared of making a mistake.

I can no longer just relax and live my life, constantly worrying about something (usually teeth-related, as I just had two teeth removed last week).

All these 'appointments' in the future - what if I have the exact wrong sleeping rhythm and miss the appointment, it'll cost 50 euros!

Anyway, enough about me, I just meant to give you explanations so you understand that I am in a similar boat, where every day is a warzone against insanity, anxiety, weird emotions, fears, and trying to find times to just enjoy life and relax, but it seems impossible, it's like the anxiety sucks all the joy out of me and all possibility for enjoying anything.

I found a free book - some old harlequin novel, so probably not anything that interesting, but it's surprisingly interesting so far - and I got the idea of trying to just lay in bed, reading a book until I get sleepy and then I could hopefully fall asleep easily. That's the only thing that feels 'exciting' right now, because it's something new to try.

My goal is to wake up at 06 am in a couple of days, so I have enough energy to do all the preparation - even taking a shower seems like a scary task that will make me cold (it's cold because of winter, and they don't heat enough here) and require so much work, although it's a mundane task to most people, I think.

I wish you find solace and relief to your pain and difficult feeling .. it must be hell to just struggle like that every day, I wish we could all just enjoy life at least some days.

Anxiety medications can cause a paradoxical effect where they cause arousal and anxiety.They can also block the normal parasympathetic healing

Yes, you have to be careful with those medications sometimes.

I am doing a lot better now, but I don't think I am completely out of the woods yet. Sometimes I feel relatively normal, and forget that I even have any kind of problem, then suddenly get startled about something and then it becomes hard to breathe again.

I have watched a lot of youtube videos about anxiety and learned some techniques, and I decided I am not going to lose to this thing, I still have self-determination. I can also 'manage' it a bit sometimes, just keeping it from 'coming to the surface', so to speak. All kinds of distractions also sometimes help and work.

It's a struggle, but hopefully getting enough sleep and having more daylight every day help. I actually got a really good sleep today, so I am feeling much better because of that.

I guess we have to sometimes go through a 'dark night of the soul' type of spiritually/emotionally/mentally/psychologically excruciating phase in life that feels like a smal eternity, and that it might never end. I think about a thing called 'karma' a lot.

I have read somewhere that if you commit a suicide, your next life will be very lonely.

I might be suffering the consequences of something like that - my life has zero people in it, so there's never anyone to talk to or reflect my thoughts to, or have conversations or do things with. Would be so fun to just go on some long busride to a previously unvisited place and just talk about life and things while doing so. But alas, it's not in the cards for me.

In any case, all pain is temporary, when you think about it - and seasons and changing of the year can change our moods and experience of our inner pain tremendously. And some day all our karma is spent.. sometimes all we can do is just endure. There will be better days.

At one point, I was afraid the anxiety was going to just stay and never go away, but now, after more experience with it, I realize that it fluctuates, sometimes it's not even there, sometimes it's 'manageable', sometimes I can just 'endure it through', and then there are tools to cope with it, fight it, lessen the effects of it, and so on. Youtube has so many good anxiety videos, it has been a Godsend.

The technique that worked for me (besides all the breathing stuff, which might also have contributed), was thinking about the 'expected feeling' that I am going to get after the anxiety is over, and it almost brought that better feeling to me when I was thinking about it.

By the way, what is "para-sympathetic healing"? I know what all those words mean, but I have no idea what the term means in practice..