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To Me, All Deaths Are Sudden

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MainerMikeBrown

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As anyone who has unexpectedly lost a loved one knows, suddenly losing an individual you cared about is shocking, surprising, and rather painful.

However, I've found that, for me anyway, losing a loved one who's physical health was gradually declining...someone I knew was going to pass away within the next few months, is still sudden.

The reason is because, to me, their's a big difference between a person who is on the verge of passing away and a person who has actually passed away.

And that's part of why losing a friend or family member who I loved and cared about is hard for me, even if I knew the end was coming, even if I had advanced warning.
 
Matticus1983

Matticus1983

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I watched my Dad, little by little (muscles to a wheelchair) over a 5 year period pass of cancer. I was 13- 18 years old. 36 now. It never seemed real. Almost felt unnatural to me. I've never accepted death as part of life. It just seemed so painful. I understand what you mean.
 
Siphonophorae

Siphonophorae

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A lady who was a friend of my parents, struggled with cancer for months. My youngest sister was especially attached to the friend. She nearly got better but she still died. Her husband was depressed for a long time afterwards. After she died my mom was dreading breaking the news to my sister. But my sis just said, “Okay.” But I don’t think she understood. She was 5 years old then. Death can be hard to understand and accept, young or old. Maybe you can’t accept it. Death isn’t part of life. I also had a friend, a very old man. He had gone to a lot of places and could tell some very interesting stories. He had even written a book called The Man In The Leather Hat (and Other Stories). He was my hero, though I didn’t realize it fully at the time. He was very gentle and the nicest old man, and he didn’t mind kids like some people end up doing. He went to a concert, I believe, and there was an accident with his wheelchair falling on him or something. I think he broke something. I never got very clear details. He didn’t want to even try and get it fixed, he said he was ready to die. He had had a full life and he felt calm about death. The worst part was going to his house. And his son’s house. His son had to sell the house, it would have been expensive to keep. When we visited with the son, he told stories too about his dad. We really only got to know him, I feel, after his death. Feels pretty sad. But at least he felt ready to go. Most people don’t.
 
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PRguru_cfj

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Back in 2018 I lost three people in one month. My grand mother who devastated the strongest man I ever know. My grand father died and it broke my mother. Then my dog died after 18 years that broke my usually stoic sister. Lost is just apart of life. We just need to live a beautiful life. Just moping and sulking won't solve anything( tho it's your right and I am saying this form experience and respect). It happens within a flash and it's our job to be strong and honor that person with your life.
We may have lost them, but thier teachings and memories will be us forever and they will live on through us. I know the pain and I k ow what it did to strong and beak them. But what they did when they rise. You will stumble but you will get up and rise. Be with that person and enjoy all the painful beautiful moments and go out in glory and peace. Remember the person's legacy and impact on you. And he/ she will never be truly dead. Just in a better place waiting for you. But will watch over you in the mean time. Atleast you knew, mines came out of nowhere. I hope this helps.
 
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Joshua1

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MainerMikeBrown said:
As anyone who has unexpectedly lost a loved one knows, suddenly losing an individual you cared about is shocking, surprising, and rather painful.

However, I've found that, for me anyway, losing a loved one who's physical health was gradually declining...someone I knew was going to pass away within the next few months, is still sudden.

The reason is because, to me, their's a big difference between a person who is on the verge of passing away and a person who has actually passed away.

And that's part of why losing a friend or family member who I loved and cared about is hard for me, even if I knew the end was coming, even if I had advanced warning.
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To me someone that has a negative mindset is the same as someone that has passed away. The difference is someone who has negative mindset has chance to undo the issues, and feel better. Every death is sudden, even in old age. Its about preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. My some of my cousins are reaching 40 years old. I am prepared to hear bad news, and invest in the relationships with all family when i can.
 
Cuchculan

Cuchculan

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Reaching 40 and you are expecting to hear bad news? 40 is not old. I know anybody can die at any time. But reading your words, you would swear once they hit 40 they were doomed. Lot of us here over 40. :p
 
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imsotired

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awww loosing a loved one sure is hard but it is part of life nomater if you have heard warning in advance or not...
 
Matticus1983

Matticus1983

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Cuchculan said:
Reaching 40 and you are expecting to hear bad news? 40 is not old. I know anybody can die at any time. But reading your words, you would swear once they hit 40 they were doomed. Lot of us here over 40. :p
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Sorry brother no offense
 
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