Need to break up with someone not sure how to do it

So I’ve been talking with this girl for about a month and at first I really liked her, we have a lot in common and she understood my kind of humor and seemed spontaneous and interesting. But this past week she’s set off a lot of red flags for me and for the first time ever I’m the one with has to break up with someone. Everyone I’ve talked to about this has told me I need to break things off with this girl as soon as possible before I’m in too deep. The red flags for me dealt with communication, on two separate occasions in just this last week she got mad at me for something and didn’t tell me what the problem was until I pressed her on it the next day and the first time it happened she didn’t even do that. She straight up ignored me because she thought I wasn’t being affectionate enough and got really upset with me when I literally made time to talk to her while I was hanging out with a friend, again keep in mind we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend yet we’re just talking right now.

Then last night she left me on read twice and ignored my messages for hours and hours. I got upset thinking she was mad at me for something small and stupid again so I sent her messages asking her just what the F**k I did to make her upset. And I started to get genuinely worried about her and made the regrettable choice to try and call her like twice.

She apparently got so annoyed that she finally responded. Apparently this time she wasn’t mad at me, she was in a shitty mood all day because she forgot how to do some stitch while she was crocheting a blanket and somehow that sent her into a downward spiral that lead to her crying in the shower. She apparently left me on read twice and ignored the rest of my messages because she knew she was in a bad mood and didn’t want to lash out at me. She was so upset with me she told me to go away and that she didn’t want to talk to me, so I haven’t messaged her since.

The thing is I totally understand be upset for dumb reasons and being in a bad mood because you can’t remember or figure out how to do one thing that should be easy. I’ve been way too mad over small stuff before I get it. But my problem is the fact she refuses to communicate when something’s wrong or when she’s upset with me, I shouldn’t have to play guessing games like this in a relationship, I deserve better than that. I can’t be with someone that doesn’t communicate. If she had simply said “hey not mad at you I just need some space right now having a hard time” I would’ve totally understood and backed off, but instead she chose to hide it and ignore me. Maybe I’m the jerk here, but everyone I’ve talked to says I should just leave her.

I just don’t even know how to go about breaking up with someone like that I just don’t know if I’ll have the self confidence to do it. Because once I do this there’s no going back, but life’s too short to waste it with someone that makes you miserable. So maybe it’s worth the risk of potentially missing out on a relationship. I’m just confused and worried I’m making a stupid decision.


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Siphonophorae said:

Do you still like her even through this problem? If so maybe you can try to talk to her about it. Has she ever mentioned liking you back? If you really feel you have to break up just because she has trouble talking to you, I think you should let her know it’s not because you hate her or anything, not because you were shamming or manipulating her.

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The thing is everything else about her is great, but the bottom line is that I can’t be with someone that refuses to communicate this early into the relationship. I can’t be with someone if I constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells whenever I’m with them. I’ll let her know the issues I have with her after work today without saying anything about leaving and see what her response is, hell maybe she has some amazing reasons for treating me like this although I highly doubt it.


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