New and need some support

Hello. I have been really struggling the past few months with the quarantine and coronavirus scare. I have suffered from severe anxiety, panic disorder, social anxiety, and depression since I was a kid. In my twenties, I developed OCD and agoraphobia. I have done therapy and tried countless medications (which caused horrible side effects) but nothing helped. My lastest psychiatrist believed that my body has a resistance to antidepressants. Currently, I am seeing a therapist through televisits, but I am not taking medications. Anxiety medications are somewhat helpful, but my psychiatrist is not authorized to prescribe any of my states controlled substances, So anyway, things weren't good before the pandemic, but I was hanging on. Anxiety and depression were basically manageable. Then the quarantine started. I live by myself and have very few friends (social anxiety) and family. Both of my parents died fairly young and I am an only child and am single with no children. The little family I am in contact with has been mostly unhelpful, and at times, harmful. From the beginning of the quarantine, I had what most would consider an irrational fear of contracting the virus. As the quarantine continued, my fears worsened. Going outside for anything went from difficult to almost impossible. I haven't had human contact in over three months. I believe my anxiety is getting worse every day because of the isolation I have been in. When I'm not anxious, I'm in a deep depression from the loneliness and stress I feel. All of my issues have caused me to only have a couple of friends and family that I ever talk to. The one person who talks to me somewhat regularly has been more harmful than helpful, saying things that cause me to have panic attacks. I feel like my therapist is the only person I can open up to who actually listens to me and supports me. What I really need right now is some support and hopefully some new friends. I'm hoping I can find some here.

Thank you. Anxiety is so awful. I feel for everyone here. Honestly, I don't really want to depend on any of the kinds of drugs that would be helpful. In the past, I have used them for bad days, but now every day is a bad day. My mom was dependant on Xanax and the withdraw from not taking it caused her to have seizures. It was scary. From that moment on I have been afraid to take any of them regularly. I know logically that can be avoided with proper tapering, but my mind tends to frequently be illogical.

I'm pretty sure zoloft is something I have tried, and it didn't work for me. I think I have tried pretty much everything that is available right now without luck. My psychiatrist got to the point where she was at a loss for what else to try. It's been incredibly frustrating. I'm glad zoloft has been helpful for you.

Unfortunately the medications I had side effects from were so bad that staying on them was not an option. Some caused a scary amount of rage that made me feel dangerous, and some caused anxiety so bad I felt like I was in a neverending panic attack. I completely agree we do it to ourselves. I have way too much time to overthink things and I think that breeds anxiety. Thank you so much for your replies. I really appreciate it. I'm very sorry you have had gastro problems and that your anxiety has been bad. I'm glad you found a solution.

Thank you so much for your reply, Siphonophorae. I'm sorry I took so long to respond. I'm having such a tough time now, and it's never easy for me to do things like this. I have lost touch with people and have no idea how they are too. It's an awful feeling. I'm glad you have found some people that you can stay linked with that give you two-way communication. I don't feel like I have that with anyone right now.