HIV scared it's driving me crazy!!!

Hello,

I AM SO TIRED OF MY BRAIN!!! So it's been two years that i'm scared to death from hiv and that no one will love me once im diagnosed with it!!! i had 4 or 5 tests done this year which all came back negative. Three days ago i went to the doctor because i had some burnings and needed a treatment. I dont know if he put plastic on his ultrasound probe or not, i dont even remember because he didnt even ask me anything and i was shocked and couldnt say anything. From that day on i think i have contracted HIV. I live in France and called my aunt which is a nurse and she told me that every doctor uses plastic on their probe and laughed so much, i did even call a doctor that works next to him and he told me that he is an experienced and doctor and everything is clean in his office. But i just dont seem to be able to put my brain at rest and it has been two years that this **** wont live me alone and im really tired of it! I read forums saying even if it wasnt clean the person before you must have had hiv and hiv dies quickly outside the body but nothing can make me calm! I dont know what to do ! Any idea on how to calm my mind? ... I dont feel like being able to wait 6 weeks stressing this much. It's becoming so difficult... Any advice on how to calm my brain? I just wish this virus dindnt existe at all it's ruining my life

Bobnnat said:

Hi Helia,

I can read your post and be 99.9999% certain you have nothing to worry about. But, I stress over similarly obscure symptoms and scenarios that are just as ridiculous (no disrespect intended).

HIV simply isn’t transmitted that way. Unless you’ve had unprotected sex (still rare) or used dirty needles, the chances of getting HIV are millions to one against. Same odds as winning a lottery where millions of people are playing. We don’t overly worry, or shouldn’t about having a heavy object fall on our heads as we walk under it, yet we worry about the rarest of diseases and odds.

Perhaps realizing that HIV is no longer a death sentence may help. So if through some reverse miracle you somehow were infected, you’d deal with it. And yes people would still love you. But again, this is silly talk, and you have to give yourself the gift of turning off your mind.

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Hello,
Thank you so much! I read your response this morning and it helped me a lot!
I realize that it's not a death sentence, i guess i'm more afraid of what people would think or would see me. Thank you so so so much for comforting me! Have a great day!

Aries said:

I don't think you can get HIV that way. You have to have contact with body fluids and the body fluids need to get into your blood through a mucous membrane.

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You know my mind goes like this : so if someone had a vaginal ultrasound before me and they had HIV and the HIV didnt die in the air and the doctor didnt use a plastic probe for neither of us i have contracte this disease! Even if other poepe tell me it's not possible or they chance is very low i just cant put my mind to ease! It's horrible! I will try to stay calm but i know it's going to be a long mont and a half of emotional roller coaster until i can have a test! Thank you for your message !

JLD said:

The others are right. Your chances of winning the lottery are better than contracting HIV from the manner your described. Tonight, worry about those millions and how you will spend them because that scenario is more likely to come true. And I am not making light of your situation. I just want you to be at ease.

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Ahaha i loved the way you turned it! I even texted to the doctor pretending it happened with another doctor and he told me it's negligance but nothing to worry about! I don't know if it's a good or bad response! If my brain had a switch off option i would totally use it! Thank you for replying to me it means a lot!