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Social media anxiety

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Vincent

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Phil10 said:
Spoiled, ruined ect or I worry adding a person will be tainted as I could have spoke to them before
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I understand what tainted means. I was asking what tainted them? Are you saying that they've been tainted by a previous interaction with you, as if something about you would have left them with a negative impression of you?
 
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Phil10

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Vincent said:
I understand what tainted means. I was asking what tainted them? Are you saying that they've been tainted by a previous interaction with you, as if something about you would have left them with a negative impression of you?
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Possibly but the issue tends to 90% if people I believe are tainted are not people I’ve spoke to on dating sites they simply look similar. An example is when I spoke to another women when I was with my partner in the messages I said they were nice despite me not finding her attractive. So the issue is even my relationship is tainted. But I worry adding these people it’s the same ones I spoke to just by he fact they look similar. It’s so bad I add people and delete them days later due to the anxiety
 
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Phil10

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I seem to have bad anxiety about adding anybody new in fear I spoke to them on a dating site and they are tainted how can I deal with this? I never use to have this anxiety.
 
Siphonophorae

Siphonophorae

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Why would you suspect they are tainted? Did they say something that makes you suspect they are tainted? Even if they are tainted, just because they have seen you or talked to you before is not necessarily a bad thing. If you use an alias they shouldn’t connect it with you. You’ll be completely different.
 
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Phil10

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Siphonophorae said:
Why would you suspect they are tainted? Did they say something that makes you suspect they are tainted? Even if they are tainted, just because they have seen you or talked to you before is not necessarily a bad thing. If you use an alias they shouldn’t connect it with you. You’ll be completely different.
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I said to some I liked them even if I found no attraction so I worry how that looks to others as one time my partner found a text to someone I never liked.

But the issue is my ocd if somebody looks similar or I get a thought which says I spoke to them my ocd says don’t add the friend as I will use Facebook less and it will be tainted. I tried to beat the ocd and ended up deleting new ones I added due to anxiety?
 
Cuchculan

Cuchculan

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I know you have had this fear for a long time. I have posted about it before with you. If it was me, I would do away with social media. If it was causing me that much trouble. Not worth having if it is making you feel as it does.
 
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Guitarist41

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I don’t use social media pretty much at all. I think it’s largely a status thing anyway (for many, not all). Plus, there’s so many false stories and reports, and in general.... negativity on there.
 
Siphonophorae

Siphonophorae

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It’s true, social media seems like it’s not right for you. If you feel like getting rid of it is just avoiding the problem, it will come back later, I don’t think so. Getting rid of social media is a real solution, not an evasion of the problem. Your problem is with social media? Get rid of social media.
 
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Phil10

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Sure I get I could quit social media but it would trigger a loneliness and depression being cut off as I don’t have everybody’s phone number.

My point is I used social media free of anxiety for some time years and this is a recent problem. I have ocd and it’s another avoidance theme for me tomorrow it could be something else?
 
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Phil10

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I unfollowed a celeb as I said to someone they were nice even though they are not that nice anymore so they became tainted. I am still struggling with this. Sure people can say to me avoid social media but the ocd moves into something else. I have focused a lot on my character or people or me being tainted. Sadly the therapist I seen before never got back to me. I now need to find a new therapist and none are doing face to face yet. So yeah kind of relying on forums right now.
I understand the tainted thing is a false it’s something my head made up but it feels real. To keep these celebs or friends I worry I will be tainted. Perhaps if I never said they were nice maybe that’s half the battle. But often my ocd makes stuff up anyway. I know the right thing to do wasn’t to unfollow the celeb. I can’t win if in kept the celeb I would worry and feel anxious and by unfollowing the ocd won and I still feel anxious?
 
Siphonophorae

Siphonophorae

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Maybe try using social media, but sort of limiting it? Like becoming not so attached and constantly worried about what might happen. If not quitting permanently you might take a little vacation.
 
Cuchculan

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I limit the number of friends I have on FB. Never go over a certain number. I see some people with thousands of friends. There is no way they know most of those people. I have a select group of people only. Might view FB 3 times a day. That does be that. In total that might amount to about an hour a day. Or even less. Not bothered with all the other social media platforms at all. No interest in them.
 
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Phil10

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Siphonophorae said:
Maybe try using social media, but sort of limiting it? Like becoming not so attached and constantly worried about what might happen. If not quitting permanently you might take a little vacation.
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You are correct.

With the pandemic on I have actually posted less very little check ins or holiday snaps. Perhaps I can try and limit that too? i notice people post less is this as they value privacy more these days? I know some people who don’t use social media or simply don’t post holiday snaps on it anymore? Perhaps people use it in a different way these days? Sure there is people who post every detail but it’s not aa much as the past?
 
Cuchculan

Cuchculan

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Istagram is were people post pictures. Is nothing but pictures. Which is why I avoid it. Lot of other places too I have no idea about. Have heard people mention them. But I have never even checked them out. Too many people live their lives on the net. I would rather watch paint dry.
 
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Joshua1

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Phil10 said:
I’ve had this issue for around a year perhaps two. It’s at a point where I send a friend request and cancel in fear I spoke to them before on a dating site. People from work ect. Or I have had to delete friends as I worry they are tainted. I had bad ocd about sharing about my partners birthday as I never wanted people to see it was a special birthday and also I worried I’d spoke to the singers before. The anxiety is crippling I worry about adding or sharing and it makes me worry all day. Sure I could quit social media this may help but the anxiety wins. I’m unable to sit with the anxiety which is quite awful. Perhaps I have to limit who I add and live with the anxiety I have most of my family and close friends I guess that’s all that matters. However I feel a bit down that I worry about adding new people or sharing stuff or people being tainted. I worry my own wife is tainted as I spoke to another women last year so worry the relationship is tainted. Can anybody help? I worry how cancelling friend requests or deleting people looks on my part when nobody knows I have anxiety?

I cancelled one friend my urge is to cancel another
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Ask yourself why you are doing this and then address that. Its good to make new friends. Making new friends can open doors to different things in life. Even on social media. I met my first "girlfriend" through a friend online.
 
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