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Social media anxiety

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Phil10

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I’ve had this issue for around a year perhaps two. It’s at a point where I send a friend request and cancel in fear I spoke to them before on a dating site. People from work ect. Or I have had to delete friends as I worry they are tainted. I had bad ocd about sharing about my partners birthday as I never wanted people to see it was a special birthday and also I worried I’d spoke to the singers before. The anxiety is crippling I worry about adding or sharing and it makes me worry all day. Sure I could quit social media this may help but the anxiety wins. I’m unable to sit with the anxiety which is quite awful. Perhaps I have to limit who I add and live with the anxiety I have most of my family and close friends I guess that’s all that matters. However I feel a bit down that I worry about adding new people or sharing stuff or people being tainted. I worry my own wife is tainted as I spoke to another women last year so worry the relationship is tainted. Can anybody help? I worry how cancelling friend requests or deleting people looks on my part when nobody knows I have anxiety?

I cancelled one friend my urge is to cancel another
 
Cuchculan

Cuchculan

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Why do you still use social media? You are only hurting yourself by doing so. It is causing you all these problems. I have read and answered some of your posts in the past. If it was doing this to me I would do away with the cause of my problems. Social media.
 
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MainerMikeBrown

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Phil10, I know you don't want to quit social media permanently and have the anxiety win as a result.

However, maybe you could quit social media just temporarily until you are emotionally able to use social media in the future.
 
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Phil10

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Cuchculan said:
Why do you still use social media? You are only hurting yourself by doing so. It is causing you all these problems. I have read and answered some of your posts in the past. If it was doing this to me I would do away with the cause of my problems. Social media.
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Yes but I never use to suffer this anxiety until two years ago. Are you suggesting I quit because I now have anxiety over it? Just like I was able to fly years ago now I have awful anxiety? I need help for the anxiety
MainerMikeBrown said:
Phil10, I know you don't want to quit social media permanently and have the anxiety win as a result.

However, maybe you could quit social media just temporarily until you are emotionally able to use social media in the future.
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That is true but the problem isn’t too much about using social media for browsing what everybody is upto. Infact I had not posted in over a month the anxiety comes from “future posts about certain stuff or future friend requests”..quitting means I have less contact with friends and family and feel worse. Perhaps I could instead not do any new activity for a month and just read and not try to add people?
 
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Phil10

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I tried to readd somebody tonight and cancelled worrying they were tainted and if I added them I’d have to delete my entire Facebook or the person. Can anybody help me with this?

I have this issue about stuff being tainted from my front garden as the wheelie bin was out there to the point I use to return irons at the shop thinking they were tainted. I even think my own marriage is tainted how can I beat this anxiety?
 
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Phil10

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My options
1. Come off social media (Could do but would restrict my contact as I use messenger and not SMS.)
2. Add the person but deal with the anxiety I suffer (This avoidance is how I get by at present..managing it so to speak)
3. Don’t add them as it will cause anxiety (It wouldn’t matter as I have majority of my family and friends on FB)
4. Delay adding them/delay deleting them (Not tried this one yet in fear I will delete, add delete in a loop)

I would be very interested to hear what people think as I can use it for other ocd worries about social media and the garden.
 
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hamnida

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Phil10 you are most famous HA patient in the world

You repeat same thing on other forum

Please don't waste good person time here
 
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KDenton

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hamnida said:
Phil10 you are most famous HA patient in the world

You repeat same thing on other forum

Please don't waste good person time here
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So you believe that Phil doesn’t belong here and he is wasting others time because his problem doesn’t make sense to you? He is clearly reaching out for help just like everyone else on here. 90% of these posts make no sense to me and I can’t understand how some of these people panic over the smallest things, but that doesn’t make their problems any less real or valid than mine. We are all here struggling with something so don’t ever minimize or make fun of someone else due to their fears or concerns.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Lanchparty7

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It has been a bit since I posted here as the virus sent me into a near breakdown and I had to disconnect from everything. Just starting now to ease back into posting. But one thing I will not do...return to social media. Social media (especially twitter) is a toxic cesspool even during normal times where people spread lies and fear monger for clicks and likes. I believe I would have had a full on breakdown if I didn’t stop reading the news and twitter.
 
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Hurt&Hopeful

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Phil10 said:
My options
1. Come off social media (Could do but would restrict my contact as I use messenger and not SMS.)
2. Add the person but deal with the anxiety I suffer (This avoidance is how I get by at present..managing it so to speak)
3. Don’t add them as it will cause anxiety (It wouldn’t matter as I have majority of my family and friends on FB)
4. Delay adding them/delay deleting them (Not tried this one yet in fear I will delete, add delete in a loop)

I would be very interested to hear what people think as I can use it for other ocd worries about social media and the garden.
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Do you have a smartphone? Have you thought of only keeping Messenger, but not doing the rest? That's what I do - I get pretty bad if I spend time on things like Facebook or Twitter. Like @Lanchparty7 said, cesspool of misinformation, marketing, and people arguing/trying to impress. Of course there are exceptions - people are just people - but in general I don't find be social media to be a healthy environment for anxiety. I use Messenger, though, and have groups that I talk to there. People I know and trust, or things I'm specifically interested in. Another option is to really limit what you see in your FB feed and notifications - change your settings. Good luck to you!
 
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Phil10

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Well I mentioned I was struggling with the social media anxiety. I was worried about adding people some I decided to add and I cancelled so I was too worried to add people from work. I overcame my anxiety to cancel the request right away tonight I decided to add a couple of them again but only one person accepted and it was a person who I never tried to add yet. However one person cancelled the request so it seems my hunch was right to cancel the requests last time sure it was my ocd making me do it however the delay in accepting is because they don’t want to add me it seems..

I would feel worse if I quit social media as I would lose contact but the Facebook thing makes me feel anxious in enteral when someone doesn’t accept of I worry the about adding somebody I get anxiety sensations and a tense head..
 
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PRguru_cfj

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Only talk to people on social media you know in person. It is a tool not b b a drug. Giving the fact now the Covid thing going around I know it might be hard. But you need the good people you know and the rest for business and entertainment. That's what social media is for me at least. If you haven't ment b b the person in real life, they ain't worth your time and stressing. But thata just my opinion.
 
Siphonophorae

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“Toxic cesspool... where people spread lies...” ~ @KDenton

Wow... couldn’t have phrased it better myself!
 
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Phil10

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PRguru_cfj said:
Only talk to people on social media you know in person. It is a tool not b b a drug. Giving the fact now the Covid thing going around I know it might be hard. But you need the good people you know and the rest for business and entertainment. That's what social media is for me at least. If you haven't ment b b the person in real life, they ain't worth your time and stressing. But thata just my opinion.
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Yes they are work people I know these people in person but my urge is to delete them as I worry is spoke to them before logically that’s prob not true but my head says people are tainted?
 
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PRguru_cfj

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I have a very cautious mind set too and it is really hard for me and open up to people. I either come off as annoying or wired. But you don't know the out come it is do or do not. If you know them well then it should be okay. But if they are bad and you know first hand he/she is , kick them off. Simple, you won't know unless you try. But if it really bothers you just site down and talk with your wife, I'm sure she'll understand
 
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Phil10

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So my ocd is:

*Worry about putting birthday night out on social media due to worrying about her 30th being on show and also worry I spoke to the singers before not his partner. Night out cancelled for now but point is I probably never spoke to either before even if I did speak to his partner it’s pointless nobody would know but I feel posting is tainted
*I seen a certain hair style at a tourist spot on a social media site so my ocd says don’t post that photo from that location again (the worry being its tainted or people will assume its that hair style)
*And again adding new friends my worry is I spoke to them before. Logically it’s not possible most are from England or further away or Glasgow or Edinburgh there is very few from my area on these sites. Ocd still says I spoke to them before so if I add them my friend list is tainted or I feel anxiety and urge to delete them

Thats my ocd about social media in brief. Now how can I control these worries or views I have? How can I challenge what I put above? At the moment my solution is to delete people, avoid posting ect but it’s no life is it?
 
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PRguru_cfj

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If you are using facebook as a tool for the party and afraid of drawing unwanted trolls make invitations for the people you invited private. I had to plan parties and my fear of blowing was thier. But making sure I was having fun and everyone is hff having a good time was worth it. Think of how happy and fun the ocation will be, right now its do or do not. Think of how happy your women will be. I know it seems dugahting but you are maninly doing fof her and the rest is just background. It a tool remember that. If you have trouble getting people do it the old fashion way phone call. At the end of the day its s party, I'm still in quarantine in my city
I'm jealous you get to celebrate somthing
 
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Phil10

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PRguru_cfj said:
If you are using facebook as a tool for the party and afraid of drawing unwanted trolls make invitations for the people you invited private. I had to plan parties and my fear of blowing was thier. But making sure I was having fun and everyone is hff having a good time was worth it. Think of how happy and fun the ocation will be, right now its do or do not. Think of how happy your women will be. I know it seems dugahting but you are maninly doing fof her and the rest is just background. It a tool remember that. If you have trouble getting people do it the old fashion way phone call. At the end of the day its s party, I'm still in quarantine in my city
I'm jealous you get to celebrate somthing
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No I cancelled it however I may rearrange the anxiety is more if I rearrange I still feel annoyed with myself that I am too worried to post on Facebook about this
 
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