First time posting

The past few weeks have been excruciatingly difficult for me. I am experiencing some medical issues and panic attacks thru out the day. My physician is wonderful and has ordered an extensive work up for me. I have been in denial for years about my anxiety, always blaming my feelings on the past or my job or family. I have been in denial about my medical symptoms also. I think the panic attacks are God's way of telling me to stop and take care of my self. I realize I have been making mistakes at work that are now coming to light, discover by my boss. I am ashamed and afraid to lose my job and health benefits. I want to run away to avoid any criticism and fear I am not capable to work anywhere in my current state.
Thanks for reading,
Bettertimes

Cuchculan said:

Welcome to the site. Eventhing you wrote is typical of anxiety and what a lot of us go through. None of us really want it. So we may ignore for a long time before we finally come clean and accept we have it. It is only when we do this that we can start to get the right kind of help and start to heal. As for the cause of anxiety? It could be your past, job and even family. That does happen. Mixture of all three could be causing you anxiety. So you might have been right all along in knowing they were effecting you to some degree. Now you can working on getting better.

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Thank you Cuchulan for your reply. I am no longer afraid of the stigma of anxiety or mental illness. That was a big step for me especially since there is a strong history of mental illness in my family. I thought I had to be "stronger " or "better ".

MainerMikeBrown said:

I hope we can help you as you work on getting better, Trying123.

Welcome aboard.

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O
I appreciate your help and support.

triceps said:

Hi and welcome Trying123. Sounds like you're taking the positive steps with your doctor so you're moving in the right direction. The initial admitting and dealings with anxiety are a great hurdle to get over. We're all wishing that your boss has some compassion. Perhaps being honest with them with what you're dealing with will help. Again, welcome, lots of good experience with your situation here.

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Thank you. I am finally able to admit that I have limitations caused by anxiety. I will have to adjust my life to my truth. This is very frightening when I wrapped a lot of my identity in accomplishments that I am no longer able to maintain.