I really need encouragement

I have had very very bad separation anxiety starting when I was no more than 2. Never resolved because we didn't know what anxiety was, really. I'm 17 now, going on a trip to Japan with my 3 other friends. I'm typing this as I'm riding on a train-- I cried for an hour, although I really tried. How am I gonna survive 7 days away from home when my anxiety makes my stomach hurt, nausea, my head to hurt, and trouble breathing? There had been too many occasions in which this problem (travel anxiety?) brought me down. I don't want it to hold me back anymore, at any cost.
I keep thinking of flight accidents, being sick on trip, having migraines, not being able to sleep (insomnia)... And everything was tearing me down.
For reference, I've been working very hard to get through this, and my psychiatrist approves. I'm a bit better now, sniffing instead of sobbing.
Any encouragement for me to pull through would help a lot. I know this sounds silly, but I just want reassurance.

Hurt&Hopeful said:

Hi Kelculator - I just responded to your other post, and now I see this one. Read my response there, but WOW, I'm impressed that you went at all if you were experiencing all of this! I was exactly like you as a teenager. I took my first trip overseas at about your age, and I had all the same symptoms. Hang in there! I agree with the others here that you should talk with your friends about this - they will understand, and they will not abandon you.

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I'm actually surprised to know that you experienced the same thing-- I Always thought of myself as a big baby. Everyone my age just seemed way more independent than me regarding travels and being in unfamiliar situations. It does get better, right? I ended up in a hospital when I was 10, going on my elementary graduation trip overnight. This counts as another, if not worse, failure. I feel so horrible.

Hurt&Hopeful said:

I remember coming home from my best friend's house when I was around 10. Couldn't do a sleepover.... So WHAT if people around you are more independent? It's not a failure, it's just a struggle you have. When you are ready, you can work through some situations together with a therapist and start to lose your fear. But there is no failure here!!!

In my case, it didn't necessarily get better by itself, but I learned to float through those really uncomfortable feelings to do things that were important to me. I learned to love to travel. Sometimes I still really struggle, and that's ok. But the more you beat yourself up over this and use words like 'failure,' the more power you give to this. It doesn't deserve that much power. It's only a part of who you are, and it doesn't have to define you! Hang in there, friend!

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Thank you so much. I really needed this. Just want you to know how much this helped me.