My journey through the curves of depression

Hello,
My story began way back at first I was a little innocent .person nothing changes me for who I am my personality started making changes as so I was a different person making changes of myself now 2017 is where my depression started I never knew why I had it but know it must be apart of my general system people would always look and stop at me it's like as if they wanted me dead all I ever wanted was some big changes for my life I guess it never happened I went through a progressive relationship with myself never looking at me like if I was still me hiding behind a mirror since then rumors basically started running about me my education memories didn't know me that well so as further I began they gave me the nickname "white girl" at thought thinking it was offending but accepting the rumors rumored with other girls as they got jealous but it was fine around week 3 everything basically changed everybody turned their back against me and I just thought I was nothing and if I will ever become those girls I would always pray to the lord to give me a story line of why is this happening in my early life but I know it was only me that had the key to open myself to why it has happened to me I sooned got aware it started getting worse and worse I would have my ways leaving class due break or miss my last few periods to avoid the rumors as if I was telling myself i need to face the rumors not destroy them and become worser basically I started standing up for myself (1st time) I said to them (swearing involved ) "**** you why are you doing.this to me with your little group nothing you say about me is true is it ..? You are just trying to pursue her to be with you " it started getting worse basically in class I heard another clue "guy's did you know that (let's call her Emmy) one of her post she said that she wanted Mary to be dead and if we rumored about her she might crack and kill herself " at that point I can't believe my ex friend would do such a thing I knew I had no dealt not to crack I just had enough a lot of comments appeared defending me but she threatened them at that point I had nothing all I had was a few friends left around half of the week appeared to end I was in my room with my 21 sister speaking that she once had depression speaking for herself she apparently use to cut herself back then with her friend she said they pastel let go of cutting and stopped her friend would do it all the time my sister would describe her as she was Cinderella with her grace and beauty later on she had council and stopped we soon went to bed that night as she read one of the following news on her social media" 16 year old girl commit suicide due to cyber bullying and that she was staying with her grand parents of the last few days of her break " I soon wanted.to cry and deep inside.my soul I wanted.to kill myself but I didn't I soon became worse and told my mum I have depression she was shocked and I basically told her what was happening and that I should tell my counselor I told her don't worry I will be fine I can handle it on my own I said on the last few days of school I started becoming better as the rumors shifted away become the good rumors they were before I finally stood out and thanked the lord I huffed and puffed and said good bye to my friends on Christmas break
As I had online counseling I became better and I am ready to fight out another year to come
I hope you enjoy this forum and hope to relate
-Mary 2019

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Cuchculan said:

I read things like this and I am glad I grew up in an age before the net. Even though I got my first PC at 15, it would be another 6 or 7 years before the net kicked into action. Then it would take another 10 years or so before social media came about. Could you imagine people today living without all of that? Plus you have the likes of snap chat and things like that. ( Something I have never used ) It is all too easy to bully people in this day and age. The majority of it happens via social media and other net platforms. None of that stuff when I was in school. People of my age escaped all of that rubbish. People still got picked on at times in school. I am not saying that never happened. But it could be sorted out in ways that were more common back them. Fist fight. Let two people go at it. Only fists allowed. You would see a lot of that. But when one person was getting the better of the other person it would be broken up. That would be the end of it. Two parties might even shake on it. ' We fought, and we sorted it out, end of story '. These days it is all social media and lies. That is were people do their talking. Cowards way of doing things. I once joked that years ago a person had to walk ten miles to call me a bastard. These days they plaster it all over social media. It can spread around a lot quicker. The comments do have an effect on the person they are written about. You see a comment and all these likes from other friends. It is like a group of friends ganging up on one person. No doubt they think it is all cool. Wanting to stay in with the hip crowd. Throwing a few extra comments in. I won't even pretend they have no idea what they are doing. They know exactly what they are doing. They set out to ruin a person's life. Too easily done these days. On the plus side of things new laws are been brought in, in most countries, surrounding social media. You are held to account for your comments and can be charged over things you write. All it will take is a few idiots to be charged and the rest will look on and know the days of doing what they do on social media is coming to an end. Anything they write, if bad, can be used against them, if any harm comes to another person. I have lost count of the amount of people who have taken their lives over bullying online here in Ireland. It has opened the eyes of the government and the law makers. Shames that lives had to be lost to make them take note of what was going on out there. That is normally how it works. They were all young people too.

You just keep your head up. Keep on fighting the good fight. This is something you can get through. You will grow stronger over time. Just ignore the idiots out there. Every country has them. They are not worth losing sleep over. You are better than they are. Never forget that.

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This was an inspiration thank you so much

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