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Years and now it's back..

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southflguy

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So I have suffered from health since I was probably 23 or so. It's a very long story I won't bore you with basically I've diagnosed anything from pancreatic cancer, lupus, leukemia, skin cancer, you name it. I went on medication a few years ago because I fell into a big bout of depression. So yearly I've done an FIT test (occult stool blood test) and this year it came back positive. I had a colonoscopy about 11-12 years ago. I contacted my doctor and he said not to worry that he sees this all the time. Could be hemorrhoids or other issues. Or just a false positive. But he recommended a colonoscopy. When I saw the result, I got cold, my heart started racing and I had to take some xanax (which I only use in cases of extreme anxiety). I'm under 45 years of age and have had IBS all my life. But here I am again, making myself miserable with worry and on a day where I should be having fun (July 4th in the U.S.) instead i'm in bed. Feeling super sad, scared, anxious and alone.
 
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triceps

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Hi and welcome southflguy. I'm 66 and just mailed in one of those cologuard tests. Also have gone through a few colonoscopies, all negative. The prep for those are worse than the procedure as you have already found out. The good news is that you are going to find out soon. Happy 4th and again welcome.
 
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southflguy

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triceps said:
Hi and welcome southflguy. I'm 66 and just mailed in one of those cologuard tests. Also have gone through a few colonoscopies, all negative. The prep for those are worse than the procedure as you have already found out. The good news is that you are going to find out soon. Happy 4th and again welcome.
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Thanks for your welcome and support. This is just so difficult. I feel super hopeless at the moment.
 
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triceps

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Hi southflguy. I feel that hopelessness every morning as I wait for my medication to take hold and get my anxiety to a reasonable level. Have you scheduled that colonoscopy yet? It's scary not knowing and also scary knowing you'll find out the diagnosis. I know it's so difficult to think positively about that positive test but concentrate on the many benign reasons that could cause that result.
 
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southflguy

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triceps said:
Hi southflguy. I feel that hopelessness every morning as I wait for my medication to take hold and get my anxiety to a reasonable level. Have you scheduled that colonoscopy yet? It's scary not knowing and also scary knowing you'll find out the diagnosis. I know it's so difficult to think positively about that positive test but concentrate on the many benign reasons that could cause that result.
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Hi Triceps,

Thank you. Yes, it's all scheduled (a few weeks away). Fortunately I have a gastro doc who is great and set everything up for me. He knows me quite well through all my anxiety and issues. He told me to please not worry. But you know how it goes. :(
 
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southflguy

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Having a particularly bad day today. I keep obsessing that I have colon cancer. This really is affecting my job and family life :(
 
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Shreddykrugaer

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southflguy said:
Having a particularly bad day today. I keep obsessing that I have colon cancer. This really is affecting my job and family life :(
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Hey sprry to hear that your going through this its tough to try and get your mind off of the negitive thinking and its harder then it seems to try and replace negative thought patterns with positive ones have you tried reading any psychology book?
 
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MamaLove

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Oh my goodness I have been there. I was basically non-functional in the weeks before my colonoscopy. Try to remember that something like 90% of positive occult blood tests have a benign cause. Hang in there!
 
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southflguy

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MamaLove said:
Oh my goodness I have been there. I was basically non-functional in the weeks before my colonoscopy. Try to remember that something like 90% of positive occult blood tests have a benign cause. Hang in there!
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Thank you for your support. Man this sucks. When I'm feeling good I tend to forget how horrible this is.
 
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AnxiousBean

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Hi southflguy,
I'm sorry you're suffering =( but you're not alone! The doctors will take good care of you no matter what the results show <3 Everything will be okay!
 
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southflguy

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I started having a panic attack yesterday morning and had to leave work. I hate taking a benzo but I had to. What was I doing at the time? Dr. Google.
 
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TDS74

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I've had panic attacks at work while doing nothing, just sitting at my desk. I hate to take them too, I hope it worked!!
 
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southflguy

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Can’t even get out of bed today. So frustrating.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
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TDS74

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southflguy said:
Can’t even get out of bed today. So frustrating.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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I know it is, baby steps. It's still early, force yourself to do small things. Anxiety makes us worry ourselves to a point of almost no return. If I didn't have my kids, I probably would be bed bound. But you got this!!!!
 
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triceps

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Can you set a goal for the day to take a shower and everything beyond that you can be considered extra accomplishments?
 
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southflguy

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Everything turned out well and nothing to worry about as far as the colonoscopy. My calm only lasted a few days and now I'm onto oral cancer fear. This has been a rough year :(
 
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AnxiousBean

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What makes you think you have oral cancer? Congrats on the colonoscopy results! That should hopefully give you a rest with that fear.
 
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southflguy

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AnxiousBean said:
What makes you think you have oral cancer? Congrats on the colonoscopy results! That should hopefully give you a rest with that fear.
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A sore on side of my tongue. Granted I grind my teeth at night and even bite it when I sleep on occasion. I started wearing a mouth guard a few nights ago. I think I bit my tongue several days ago but I don’t remember.
 
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