Afraid of fear

The thing about having mild agoraphobia is that it takes your life away. I don't live anymore and it's killing me inside. What I would givery to be able to jump to the chance to go with my husband on weekend dates..but.. I can't because of this mild agoraphobia so I decline everytime. I have most of my panic attacks in a car so.. I try to avoid those situations where I am stuck in a car for long periods of time. You see....the longer I am in a car... the more likely I am to have an attack. My husband is trying too be understanding he offers too stop the car when I feel anxious or nervous but...my brain tells me ( no! It's too risky ) and I don't go. This sucks. But...this is my life now. I guess I don't have 1.

Oh lord...the dreaded exposure therapy.
How can you convince yourself to purposely put yourself in that position? Tried it a couple of times (unseccessfully ) . Maybe eventually I will get back out there but.. for now I think I will have to just inch myself back into it. Thank you SinceDayOne88 and Brad66. I will definitely check these books out.

SinceDayOne88 said:

I know it seems extreme and could be terrifying. Let's say someone wanted me to conquer my fears of spiders, and I had to put one in my hand. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!! So I get it! And you're welcome for the suggestion. I hope everything works out for you Concerned!

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Thank you

I had it force myself to get a job. That was 4 years ago.
I still have that job but, my place of employment is 10 min away.
But...other than that...I don't do much else.
When i'm out and about,my stomach gets all messed up, I have a difficult time breathing and I swear i feel as though I will pass out at any moment.
I was lucky to find this place that I work at and it wasn't an easy thing g to do to get "used" to it.
My employer started me out at 1 day a week (very understanding guy) and slowly .. I was (weaned ) into it. It took a lot of time to get used to the fact of having a job.
I'm proud of that accomplishment however. ...being there offers an escape...it has doors and it's not going 40 to 80 miles an hour on a road. That's my problem with being in a car.
If I have a panic attack in a car . ..there is no escape.
I'm sure you know how that feels .
No means of escape....it's a no go for me. And I suppose that also why I won't go to a public indoor event. If you start freaking out during those events... you look like an odd ball ...a weirdo....a freak.
And besides...my job is also 10 min away from an emergency room too.....big plus.
I have been successful in this but...when it comes to riding in a car and being at an event or even a family get together.
I cannot.....I will not do it.

Wanting to get better said:

I want you to know that I connect to your struggle. I feel the pain of isolation and fear along with you. Do your best to be kind to yourself, and remember that many of us are with you.

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Thank you very much. That's very kind of you.

Aww. That's so sweet of you .
I'm always a negative person now.
Which is sad because I didn't used to be.