What’s bothering you right now?

Hurt&Hopeful said:

Ugh - so sorry you're going through this. It's really hard - I've been there many times. And it's really hard to be in relationships and deal with all the normal relationship stuff when you're going through it, too.

I don't know your boyfriend, so I can't speak to him or his motives, but I can tell you about my own experience and maybe it will be helpful. First, NO, it's not ridiculous for us to expect compassion and care, especially when we're dealing with panic attacks. However, I've learned over the years that people who have never been through it will not know what to do automatically. My husband is a wonderful, loving man. However, he is not naturally sensitive or empathetic. He has no idea on his own how to help me through a panic attack, or what it feels like. He probably never will. And he has his own hangups and traumas that make it really hard for him to deal with. That doesn't mean he's off the hook. It just means that we've had to have some really hard conversations through the years...what I need, what he needs, etc. He has come a LONG way towards learning how to love me through this, and he still has a lot to learn. And he keeps learning because he loves me. And sometimes he just fails and I have to give him the same grace that I expect him to give me, because I trust him. That takes time...and sometimes it really hurts. I've also learned that no one person can meet all of my needs - I have had to make a conscious effort to connect with other people who fill some of the holes. Again, this is just my life, and not a comment on yours - I chose to marry my husband and stick with him, and we work through each other's **** as it comes up.

I would definitely suggest sitting down with your partner and having a long conversation, in a non-panic moment. Explain anxiety, read about it together, watch YouTube videos if he's not a reader, etc. He can learn !

Thanks for sharing your inner dialogue - we all have these irrational thoughts, I think, and we hide them. You're brave, and you're making it!

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sinsin305 said:

Hi everyone! Today is not such a great day for me. Everything seems to bother me. The xanax keeps knocking me out and all I want to do is get what I need to be done today. Any ideas...?

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Rinka said:

Hi @sinsin305 Umm.. Did you just start taking the medication? If you have, I’ve heard that it takes a few weeks or so to get used to. Don’t quote me on that but my friend took for a while and she said that for a week or couple weeks she would feel tired but after that she should begin feeling more ‘normal’.

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Rinka said:

I thought it would be a good idea to open a thread for everyone’s daily ranting.

Well I will just start:
Just recently I started a new job, in June actually. As it is with all new things for me, it makes me more anxious and stressed, then when I’m already established in the job. Then come my three days annual leave. On the day of my annual leave starting, I got the notice that my partner and I had to move within the next two months out of our flat. The landlord wanted to sell the flat. Then my mom was visiting and every day was just total power and total activity with no time to relax and regain energy. On my first day back to work, I was so anxious, that I was shivering and could not focus at all. I had to request one day sick leave. Funny thing though on the day before, my new manager started. So she met me for the first time when I just came back from annual leave requesting sick leave for the day. Nice start really. The whole following week was just an anxiety rollercoaster. Since then I have the feeling that my new manager, does not like me and thinks that I am stupid and don’t belong in my job.

Well that’s me that’s my rant for the day. How are you doing? What’s doing on today that you want to share and let the steam out?

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Rinka said:

I sleep with the admin . No, well yes I do, but that’s not why I’m moderator.
My fiancé and I have created the forum. He is the admin, dealing with the backend of the forum and I’m dealing with the front end, moderation bit. I have a full time position in housing (very stressful). That’s how I earn my living. The forum itself doesn’t make money, it actually costs us.
We created the forum as a kind of self help/ therapy thing, because we both suffer from anxiety and depression. We thought it would be good to create a community that supports each other.

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Rinka said:

Cheeky sod you are

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Rinka said:

I sleep with the admin . No, well yes I do, but that’s not why I’m moderator.
My fiancé and I have created the forum. He is the admin, dealing with the backend of the forum and I’m dealing with the front end, moderation bit. I have a full time position in housing (very stressful). That’s how I earn my living. The forum itself doesn’t make money, it actually costs us.
We created the forum as a kind of self help/ therapy thing, because we both suffer from anxiety and depression. We thought it would be good to create a community that supports each other.

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Chris said:

What's bothering me right now is how quiet this site is? Just a couple months back this was a very active site. I don't see many people joining either. What's going on? How come it has lost sudden traffic?

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triceps said:

I just want everyone to know that it's pure coincidence that the traffic has slowed down since I joined the site. My wife would say otherwise.

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Rinka said:

There is a story behind it.
Back on August 1st Google made an update on its authority algorithm. Means that if you search for a certain “medical” term, the sites with “high” authority will come first. Those sites are official medical advice sites and blogs. Any forums related to health have been burned by it, because we don’t have high “authority” and the content is not made by medical professionals. Doesn’t matter that it’s a self help thing and the people can get individual responses to their posts, not like just reading a blog or site.
You may have noticed when you search for a medicalised term it doesn't show forums anymore, or at least not many.
It’s very frustrating, we went from almost 700 new visitors a day to now only 35, a 95% drop. Unbelievable. All because of this algorithm update from Google. So thanks Google.
.

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