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butterfly67

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Well hi everyone. I am 40 married with three eight year olds at home. My husband is a counselor (oh boy). I really came on this site to be able to talk and socialize, since I am having a hard time doing that anywhere else. Now on top of all of my other disorders, panic and anxiety I have also become a recluse. Meds have never helped me except for with my panic attacks. My marriage is unhappy, mainly because I seem to take on all of the guilt of anything that goes wrong. I have three older children and my husband doesn't like the added drama they bring to our life. They are 18 , 20. and 22. He also doesn't like the every other weekend/every other holiday and half the summer break parenting time for my twins from second marriage. His unhappiness is really making me worse.
 
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triceps

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Welcome butterfly. I'm almost right there with you. I've got generalized anxiety, panic disorder and I'm a hermit. I'm so sorry that your disorders are complicating your marriage. I'm sure you figured that having a counselor for a husband would provide a bit more understanding. What type of counselor is he? I'm retired so the hermit stuff doesn't have as much of an impact for me. Again, welcome and I hope things get better for you.
 
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scharley1973

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butterfly67 said:
Well hi everyone. I am 40 married with three eight year olds at home. My husband is a counselor (oh boy). I really came on this site to be able to talk and socialize, since I am having a hard time doing that anywhere else. Now on top of all of my other disorders, panic and anxiety I have also become a recluse. Meds have never helped me except for with my panic attacks. My marriage is unhappy, mainly because I seem to take on all of the guilt of anything that goes wrong. I have three older children and my husband doesn't like the added drama they bring to our life. They are 18 , 20. and 22. He also doesn't like the every other weekend/every other holiday and half the summer break parenting time for my twins from second marriage. His unhappiness is really making me worse.
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well butterfly...i just want to welcome you to our group of people that have the same issues that you do. there are some great people on here that give some great advise... "triceps" is one of my favs :) hes had this for along time. hes willing and here to help anyway he can :) hes always been here for me. and if you read the posts of other people, i think youll fit right in. ive had anxiety and panic disorder since i was in my 20s, im now in my 40s :( still difficult. its gotten worse the older i get. i dont have children, thank goodness for that :( i can barely take care of myself but 2 thumbs up to you momma...you go girl!! i look up to people like you!
 
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Chris

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butterfly67 said:
Well hi everyone. I am 40 married with three eight year olds at home. My husband is a counselor (oh boy). I really came on this site to be able to talk and socialize, since I am having a hard time doing that anywhere else. Now on top of all of my other disorders, panic and anxiety I have also become a recluse. Meds have never helped me except for with my panic attacks. My marriage is unhappy, mainly because I seem to take on all of the guilt of anything that goes wrong. I have three older children and my husband doesn't like the added drama they bring to our life. They are 18 , 20. and 22. He also doesn't like the every other weekend/every other holiday and half the summer break parenting time for my twins from second marriage. His unhappiness is really making me worse.
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Hi butterfly, welcome to the forum.

Has the fact that your husband is a counselor helped your anxiety?
 
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butterfly67

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scharley1973 said:
well butterfly...i just want to welcome you to our group of people that have the same issues that you do. there are some great people on here that give some great advise... "triceps" is one of my favs :) hes had this for along time. hes willing and here to help anyway he can :) hes always been here for me. and if you read the posts of other people, i think youll fit right in. ive had anxiety and panic disorder since i was in my 20s, im now in my 40s :( still difficult. its gotten worse the older i get. i dont have children, thank goodness for that :( i can barely take care of myself but 2 thumbs up to you momma...you go girl!! i look up to people like you!
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triceps said:
Welcome butterfly. I'm almost right there with you. I've got generalized anxiety, panic disorder and I'm a hermit. I'm so sorry that your disorders are complicating your marriage. I'm sure you figured that having a counselor for a husband would provide a bit more understanding. What type of counselor is he? I'm retired so the hermit stuff doesn't have as much of an impact for me. Again, welcome and I hope things get better for you.
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Chris said:
Hi butterfly, welcome to the forum.

Has the fact that your husband is a counselor helped your anxiety?
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Thank you everyone and happy Thanksgiving! its lovely to be here. Sorry for only responding now, it's been a hectic week. I'm hoping next week I will be able to talk more with everyone :)

My husband is a family counselor, and no it hasn't helped at all! He sees everything in black and white. It's very frustrating :(
 
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Chris

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butterfly67 said:
Thank you everyone and happy Thanksgiving! its lovely to be here. Sorry for only responding now, it's been a hectic week. I'm hoping next week I will be able to talk more with everyone :)

My husband is a family counselor, and no it hasn't helped at all! He sees everything in black and white. It's very frustrating :(
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Most people won't understand you if they don't have it. When I was younger and I would hear about someone committing suicide, I wouldn't understand why they did it. Then after I suffered from depression I understood what they went through and I understood their motives.
 
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beanna26

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Hi butterfly, I'm sure this must be a really tough position to be in, so hang in there! Have you tried sitting down with your husband and explaining how you're feeling to him? I find that when it is difficult to get through to someone, it is sometimes useful to tell them that they don't have to understand it, but they can at least try to compromise with you to make things easier for both of you. I have anxiety and I feel like a lot of people cannot understand what is it like to be in a constant state of worry and irrational guilt. That said, it might be useful to give your husband examples of situations that are difficult for you and suggest ways in which he can make things a little easier on you.
 
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