I'm not sure if I'm doing this right

Hi! I'm new here, obviously. I've never done anything else like this on the internet, but the people here look really sweet. This sounds really stupid, even to me, but I feel really lonely. I'm bad with people. I never know what to do or what to say. I can never look at people. I can never come up with funny, witty remarks. I just started seventh grade, and although I like my teachers, socializing is the real struggle. I'm not bullied or anything, but I always get this feeling that people secretly hate me, even when I have no evidence to prove so. I have some skin problems. It really affects my self esteem.I really hate looking in the mirror. I recently started seeing a dermatologist, so that's good. I don't really like myself, I guess. I never really have friends over. I mean, I have school acquaintances, but no one who I would consider a best friend. I feel really alone all the time. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will ever have a crush on me or love me in a romantic way when I am older. I think love is the best part of being alive, and what if I never get to experience it? And do you ever look at popular people and wonder, "Why? You're mean to everyone and treat people like trash, yet everyone would die for you." and you feel bad for thinking like that, because you know you have so much to be grateful for,but...I don't know. I think I have depression, but maybe my subconscious is trying to convince me of that because I secretly want attention. I don't even know, which is pretty pathetic. I feel like if I died, no one would really miss me. I have these sorts of thoughts right after I do something awkward. Okay, I'm done Sorry for being so...vomit-y? I had a lot to say. I kind of have to just get it out there, you know? So, how are you guys doing?

karlae99 said:

Hey! I know it can be quite hard making friends at school sometimes, and when I was in school I honestly didn’t have very many which is why I turned to the internet or more so twitter. I know online friends are not the same as real friends but trust me, once you meet someone online who you can really bond and get along with it they will mean as much to you as any real friend would. I as well
have struggled with being self concious and not liking the way I look at all and even worrying about no one ever loving me, but I am currently 19 years old and have been in various relationships and I won’t lie some of them have been online relationships but the person has always seen my face. At the momemt I am in a pretty serious relationship and even plan on moving in with my girlfriend at the end of next year. I know social media can be quite toxic and this is probably not the best advice but I would really recommend making online friends in fandoms and such as it can really help bring you out of your shell and make you feel not so alone. As for you not liking the way you look, I know it’s hard to stop feeling that way and overcoming that and honestly I myself to this day am not a fan of the way I look but I try and tell myself that I’m beautiful all the time even if I don’t believe it just yet. You’re still pretty young and I really hope you learn to love yourself one day and you will most definitely find love in your life.

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Thank you so much for giving such a nice answer! You really made my day. Thank you for your advice, as well. I think that that's something I definitely want to do. Thank you!