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Depression?

Gergyta

Gergyta

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Hi, I’m a teenager girl but I’ve been feeling down almost 24/7, and when I’m not down the feelings come soon. I’ve cut before, and I have some light scars, the only reason I’ve been clean is because my parents put up a security system and one of the places where they put a camera is in the kitchen, but when I cut I felt a sense of release, if only for a bit. I’m not sure I want to label myself as depressed though, because since I’m a teenager there are hormones running through my body. That’s what my parents said when I tried to explain that I wasn’t feeling okay, so I’ve never told anyone irl, and I don’t cry anymore. I used to cry a lot into my pillow, but now I’m almost afraid that if I start crying I’ll never stop, and the emptiness I feel afterwords is almost unbearable. The thing is, to everyone else I’m a happy person, and if you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to help bear the weight of your troubles, I’m there. But no one is there for me. Wtf am I doing I’m posting my whole life story.
 
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I-am-nervous-tbh

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Hi G. Have you had these feelings for over six months? That’s generally an indication that it is depression rather than a depressive episode.
Though from what I’ve read. Perhaps trying to talk to your parents again or to someone you trust might be beneficial. I’m sorry that you have to struggle through something like depression. I hope you can find a solution.
Best wishes.
 
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Hurt&Hopeful

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Hi there Gergyta! I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Yes, hormones are crazy in your teenage years, but they shouldn't be making you feel bad enough that you have the urge to cut. If you're struggling with that, there is probably something more going on. Is there another trusted adult that you could talk to about it - maybe a school counselor or someone at a church or club? These feelings that you have are NOT who you are as a person, so don't worry about labels or being called "a depressed teenager" - we all deal with stuff like this from time to time, and it's just a part of our story, not the whole story. ;) Please reach out to someone close to you and get some help - you don't have to go through it alone!
 
Gergyta

Gergyta

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Than
Hurt&Hopeful said:
Hi there Gergyta! I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Yes, hormones are crazy in your teenage years, but they shouldn't be making you feel bad enough that you have the urge to cut. If you're struggling with that, there is probably something more going on. Is there another trusted adult that you could talk to about it - maybe a school counselor or someone at a church or club? These feelings that you have are NOT who you are as a person, so don't worry about labels or being called "a depressed teenager" - we all deal with stuff like this from time to time, and it's just a part of our story, not the whole story. ;) Please reach out to someone close to you and get some help - you don't have to go through it alone!
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Thanks, but I’m scared to reach out, and I don’t want the person/persons to change how they treat me, I just want someone that I can cry around and talk to. The first time I cut my parents thought that my nervous habit of itching myself had started up again, and this was after I told them I wasn’t okay and they were obviously too narrow to be itch marks, but I’ve been itching myself purposefully to help lessen the pressure, but it isn’t enough. How do you tell someone that you feel like this? What if they turn their back? What if they tell someone else? I’ve gotten so used to faking, how do I stop myself from doing that?
 
Gergyta

Gergyta

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I-am-nervous-tbh said:
Hi G. Have you had these feelings for over six months? That’s generally an indication that it is depression rather than a depressive episode.
Though from what I’ve read. Perhaps trying to talk to your parents again or to someone you trust might be beneficial. I’m sorry that you have to struggle through something like depression. I hope you can find a solution.
Best wishes.
Click to expand...

Yes, I’ve been feeling this for over six months, but my parents don’t like to listen and try to convince me that it’s nothing. And thanks for wishing me well.
 
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Hurt&Hopeful

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Gergyta said:
Than


Thanks, but I’m scared to reach out, and I don’t want the person/persons to change how they treat me, I just want someone that I can cry around and talk to. The first time I cut my parents thought that my nervous habit of itching myself had started up again, and this was after I told them I wasn’t okay and they were obviously too narrow to be itch marks, but I’ve been itching myself purposefully to help lessen the pressure, but it isn’t enough. How do you tell someone that you feel like this? What if they turn their back? What if they tell someone else? I’ve gotten so used to faking, how do I stop myself from doing that?
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Oh sweetie, so hard. First, again - this is NOT who you are. It's just something you're going through, and you need some help. And it's more common than you can imagine!!! So many teens struggling! I would start by talking with your parents. They might be more open than you think - tell them you think you need some help and see what happens. If they don't accept it, you find another adult that you feel like you can trust. A teacher, a pastor, a coach, a friend's mom or dad...someone that will listen and maybe help you get some help and even help talk to your parents. If you're in school, a school counselor would be a good resource. They will not judge you!
 
Gergyta

Gergyta

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Hurt&Hopeful said:
Oh sweetie, so hard. First, again - this is NOT who you are. It's just something you're going through, and you need some help. And it's more common than you can imagine!!! So many teens struggling! I would start by talking with your parents. They might be more open than you think - tell them you think you need some help and see what happens. If they don't accept it, you find another adult that you feel like you can trust. A teacher, a pastor, a coach, a friend's mom or dad...someone that will listen and maybe help you get some help and even help talk to your parents. If you're in school, a school counselor would be a good resource. They will not judge you!
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I’ll try!! How do you explain it though? I don’t know how.
 
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Hurt&Hopeful

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Gergyta said:
I’ll try!! How do you explain it though? I don’t know how.
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Maybe try writing it out first to make it easier? Write down how you feel, and how it feels when you get the urge to cut. Then you can read it - once you start, it will come.
 
Gergyta

Gergyta

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Hurt&Hopeful said:
Maybe try writing it out first to make it easier? Write down how you feel, and how it feels when you get the urge to cut. Then you can read it - once you start, it will come.
Click to expand...

I tried explaining to my parents how I feel, and one of the ways I tried to explain it is how I feel when I show emotion, it’s like my body shows happiness when I should, but I don’t feel it, in a way. They wouldn’t listen and said I was trying to be a tough teenager and that this would pass
 
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Hurt&Hopeful

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Gergyta said:
I tried explaining to my parents how I feel, and one of the ways I tried to explain it is how I feel when I show emotion, it’s like my body shows happiness when I should, but I don’t feel it, in a way. They wouldn’t listen and said I was trying to be a tough teenager and that this would pass
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:( Gergyta, I'm so sorry that they don't understand - I'm sure your parents love you very much and are just trying to do what's best for you in their own way. Anxiety is something that is really hard to understand unless you've been through it yourself. Same with depression. But don't give up - There are lots of people in this world that have been exactly where you are (including us on this site!). And it gets better. If you're really struggling or you feel the urge to hurt/cut yourself, then keep looking for a trusted adult to talk to - a school counselor, a teacher, coach, anyone that you trust. And you have taken a good step by reaching out on this forum - it's never good to isolate yourself or hide how you feel. I'm really impressed that you've been brave enough to share this with strangers, and to talk to your parents that way! You're pretty amazing...
 
Gergyta

Gergyta

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Hurt&Hopeful said:
:( Gergyta, I'm so sorry that they don't understand - I'm sure your parents love you very much and are just trying to do what's best for you in their own way. Anxiety is something that is really hard to understand unless you've been through it yourself. Same with depression. But don't give up - There are lots of people in this world that have been exactly where you are (including us on this site!). And it gets better. If you're really struggling or you feel the urge to hurt/cut yourself, then keep looking for a trusted adult to talk to - a school counselor, a teacher, coach, anyone that you trust. And you have taken a good step by reaching out on this forum - it's never good to isolate yourself or hide how you feel. I'm really impressed that you've been brave enough to share this with strangers, and to talk to your parents that way! You're pretty amazing...
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Thanks, but it was almost easy to talk to my parents because I knew they wouldn’t get it, but if it’s someone that will listen, I just. But thanks for the vote of confidence!!! It’s good to know that people like you are out there. It gives me hope.
 
Gergyta

Gergyta

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Sorry if I over post on this, but I need somewhere to get my feelings out, it helps a lot. So my parents came and yelled at me for trying to self diagnose myself and my fears are false and for attention. They brought up the first time I tried telling them a couple years ago, and also brought up my fear of the dark and how they only see it when I want to stay up, but I already stay up all night and they think I’m faking it. It hurts a lot. Thanks for listening to me and just, dealing with the stuff I say here. Just wanna say that to those who are here.
 
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