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Can someone please tell me what’s wrong with me

Stuart Menchaca

Stuart Menchaca

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Hello, I am a 16 year old male. This article is about some thoughts i had in my head that won’t stop happening. I am seeking any help what so ever. Let’s start two years ago. Around my 14th birthday I started to get extremely depressed. I would have thoughts about killing someone I knew or hurting people, and other things that I don’t want to speak on. I do not know where these are coming from. When I was 15 it started to get worse. They were not coming from anywhere else but my mind. Recently I haven’t been getting them but I genuinely fear that they will get even worse. One time I had an image in my head so horrible that I couldn’t help but break into tears. Whenever I have these thoughts I feel extremely bad as if I actually did them. The thing is, I have never acted on these thoughts nor have I had any behavior in the past or recently that could make me have thoughts like this. I currently have a girlfriend and seemingly live a normal life. Overtime, these ideas in my head have made me build a guilt up inside that I think will never go away. If anyone could offer any help I would like to hear I am in no way shape or form a violent person.
 
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XmasCarol52

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Stuart Menchaca said:
Hello, I am a 16 year old male. This article is about some thoughts i had in my head that won’t stop happening. I am seeking any help what so ever. Let’s start two years ago. Around my 14th birthday I started to get extremely depressed. I would have thoughts about killing someone I knew or hurting people, and other things that I don’t want to speak on. I do not know where these are coming from. When I was 15 it started to get worse. They were not coming from anywhere else but my mind. Recently I haven’t been getting them but I genuinely fear that they will get even worse. One time I had an image in my head so horrible that I couldn’t help but break into tears. Whenever I have these thoughts I feel extremely bad as if I actually did them. The thing is, I have never acted on these thoughts nor have I had any behavior in the past or recently that could make me have thoughts like this. I currently have a girlfriend and seemingly live a normal life. Overtime, these ideas in my head have made me build a guilt up inside that I think will never go away. If anyone could offer any help I would like to hear I am in no way shape or form a violent person.
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Hi and welcome to the family what is sounds like to me is you are having intrusive thoughts,You think of killing someone but that is all you really wouldnt do it.Believe me when I tell you I have the same kind of thoughts.I know they can be very scary especially when it involves someone that you love.That is a big part of anxieties.
 
janemariesayed

janemariesayed

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Stuart Menchaca said:
Hello, I am a 16 year old male. This article is about some thoughts i had in my head that won’t stop happening. I am seeking any help what so ever. Let’s start two years ago. Around my 14th birthday I started to get extremely depressed. I would have thoughts about killing someone I knew or hurting people, and other things that I don’t want to speak on. I do not know where these are coming from. When I was 15 it started to get worse. They were not coming from anywhere else but my mind. Recently I haven’t been getting them but I genuinely fear that they will get even worse. One time I had an image in my head so horrible that I couldn’t help but break into tears. Whenever I have these thoughts I feel extremely bad as if I actually did them. The thing is, I have never acted on these thoughts nor have I had any behavior in the past or recently that could make me have thoughts like this. I currently have a girlfriend and seemingly live a normal life. Overtime, these ideas in my head have made me build a guilt up inside that I think will never go away. If anyone could offer any help I would like to hear I am in no way shape or form a violent person.
Click to expand...
Hi Stuart, welcome to the community here. You may have started having these thoughts because of your hormones during the teenage years. What you need to do is change those thoughts. It can be done. Don't feel guilty about having these thoughts, it isn't your fault and you haven't done anything wrong.

When you find a thought or an image comes to mind, purposely put a different image there. It is not easy but in time, you will find that your thoughts will change. We are always here for you so please do come and talk with us even on a good day.:happy:
 
Stuart Menchaca

Stuart Menchaca

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XmasCarol52 said:
Hi and welcome to the family what is sounds like to me is you are having intrusive thoughts,You think of killing someone but that is all you really wouldnt do it.Believe me when I tell you I have the same kind of thoughts.I know they can be very scary especially when it involves someone that you love.That is a big part of anxieties.
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Hello and thank you for replying. Yes, It’s very scary and most of the time it’s only with people I love. I’m going to possibly get medication of some sort because they aren’t going away but I don’t know if that’s what’s best.
 
Stuart Menchaca

Stuart Menchaca

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janemariesayed said:
Hi Stuart, welcome to the community here. You may have started having these thoughts because of your hormones during the teenage years. What you need to do is change those thoughts. It can be done. Don't feel guilty about having these thoughts, it isn't your fault and you haven't done anything wrong.

When you find a thought or an image comes to mind, purposely put a different image there. It is not easy but in time, you will find that your thoughts will change. We are always here for you so please do come and talk with us even on a good day.:happy:
Click to expand...
Thank you Jane, it’s interesting to hear that I never thought about that, I find that very unlikely thought because I started having these thoughts before I started going through hormonal changes. I try to just altogether not think about things like that, but it just gets worse. I have tried to replace these thoughts with positive ones or just normal thoughts.
(Ex: What I’m going to eat for dinner, counting back from 100 by 8) but it just does not work. I am strongly considering to start taking medication but I don’t know what to take. Once again thank you for the warm welcome.
 
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