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Weekends and Depression also it went well today

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XmasCarol52

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I cannot place my finger on it but my depression seems to get worse on the weekends I suppose part of it is because I use to do things with my late husband on weekends like go to the marina and have breakfast down there just relax and watch the boats even went there at nights to and sometimes we would just go for a long drive at night just to get me out of the house.I know part of it is because I miss him and I think of him all of the time.I wish I could bring him back.I miss my family meals.Many a times we would sit outside with our 2 children and eat breakfast and supper to it was so peaceful.What I really miss to is when our next door neighbors use to come over and sit outside with us at night and have coffee and donuts it may sound silly but something so little like that meant so much to me and when I think of it now I get so depressed and cry.The past couple of days I had no desire to do anything not even knit i did though yesterday but today no all i wanted to do was cuddle up on my couch and fall asleep. I did to just like yesterday slept most of the day even though i did read for about an hour.I miss my best friend so much.She has not been able to stay because of having to work some other guy who is on vacation and the snow too.It has really bothered me I miss her so much and she told me the same matter of fact she has told me a couple of times she would rather be here with me then at work.I know it isnt her fault but it is frustrating because I plan on doing things with her just like watching a movie and eating popcorn or something like that .It means so much to have her here. I hate it when she has to leave and I told her so,she said the same thing. I just feel so very disappointed as of late.NOw the good news is my land lady never even mentioned my yelling not a word perhaps me telling her before i feel like I am being discriminated against worked she claimed she wasnt though bs she wasnt she even was nice and told me about the new couple moving in.What a big relief this is.Thank GOd for that.Sorry about this jibber jabbering so much but I am so lonely
 
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janemariesayed

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Oh @XmasCarol52 bless you. I am so sorry that you feel lonely. Loneliness is a horrible feeling and one of the worst I think. I wish I lived right near you and I would come and visit often. What are the new couple like? Have you met them yet? Perhaps invite them in for a cup of tea. You never know where new friends will emerge from.
 
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XmasCarol52

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janemariesayed said:
Oh @XmasCarol52 bless you. I am so sorry that you feel lonely. Loneliness is a horrible feeling and one of the worst I think. I wish I lived right near you and I would come and visit often. What are the new couple like? Have you met them yet? Perhaps invite them in for a cup of tea. You never know where new friends will emerge from.
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Just when I had plans again to visit with my best friend she was out sick I dont seem to get much time with her anymore.I am actually feeling angry cause I am so lonely and I miss her so much I called her today she has the stomach flu.ugh I cant take this lonliness much longer
 
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Movietime169

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I agree with what you said: You never know where new friends will emerge from!
 
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XmasCarol52

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Is it just me or was I the only one who couldnt get into this site since last night?It just kept saying unable to open page because it took to long.ugh This has happened once before.Now I am sick and tired of being angry and depressed and for gods sake why wont my kids come to see me I need some company.My friend is still out and I just bet she wont be here tomorrow because of another storm I am getting tired of these storms,I absolutely hate being alone.This loneliness stinks.Like I said I am actually angry because of it.
janemariesayed said:
Oh @XmasCarol52 bless you. I am so sorry that you feel lonely. Loneliness is a horrible feeling and one of the worst I think. I wish I lived right near you and I would come and visit often. What are the new couple like? Have you met them yet? Perhaps invite them in for a cup of tea. You never know where new friends will emerge from.
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janemariesayed said:
Oh @XmasCarol52 bless you. I am so sorry that you feel lonely. Loneliness is a horrible feeling and one of the worst I think. I wish I lived right near you and I would come and visit often. What are the new couple like? Have you met them yet? Perhaps invite them in for a cup of tea. You never know where new friends will emerge from.
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You are so sweet I would love it if you were my neighbor,I dont know the new couple they live a distance from me so I may never see them. This anger has me shaking too i don t know how to control it.
 
Rinka

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XmasCarol52 said:
Is it just me or was I the only one who couldnt get into this site since last night?It just kept saying unable to open page because it took to long.ugh This has happened once before.Now I am sick and tired of being angry and depressed and for gods sake why wont my kids come to see me I need some company.My friend is still out and I just bet she wont be here tomorrow because of another storm I am getting tired of these storms,I absolutely hate being alone.This loneliness stinks.Like I said I am actually angry because of it.


You are so sweet I would love it if you were my neighbor,I dont know the new couple they live a distance from me so I may never see them. This anger has me shaking too i don t know how to control it.
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Hi we had some server issue again :mad: and site was offline.
We are now working on moving the site to another server that is hopefully more reliable.
 
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XmasCarol52

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Rinka said:
Hi we had some server issue again :mad: and site was offline.
We are now working on moving the site to another server that is hopefully more reliable.
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thank you i would hate to lose this site
 
janemariesayed

janemariesayed

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XmasCarol52 said:
Is it just me or was I the only one who couldnt get into this site since last night?It just kept saying unable to open page because it took to long.ugh This has happened once before.Now I am sick and tired of being angry and depressed and for gods sake why wont my kids come to see me I need some company.My friend is still out and I just bet she wont be here tomorrow because of another storm I am getting tired of these storms,I absolutely hate being alone.This loneliness stinks.Like I said I am actually angry because of it.


You are so sweet I would love it if you were my neighbor,I dont know the new couple they live a distance from me so I may never see them. This anger has me shaking too i don t know how to control it.
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Anger does make you shake. It makes me shake too. It makes me want to cry as well and then people think I am upset instead of angry! lol

Shame you can't meet the new couple. Maybe you will bump into them in passing or something.

Maybe it is better if you feel angry rather than lonely. Loneliness is depressive whereas anger can pass over more easily.
 
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Rinka said:
Hi we had some server issue again :mad: and site was offline.
We are now working on moving the site to another server that is hopefully more reliable.
Click to expand...
I was reading this message this morning and writing that I had never had any problems at all. Then I suddenly got a message that the servers were being changed. Hee hee, and the message I had written disappeared! So, because I have been thick with flu the last few days or so, I sat wrapped up on the couch and have been watching telly all day.

It's lovely to have the forum back up and running again, even if I didn't notice that it was down beforehand! If I couldn't come on here I would miss the lovely friends and family I've made on here too much! I would also miss being able to come and chat about anything, whenever I need to.

Thanks for fixing it @Rinka
 
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janemariesayed said:
I was reading this message this morning and writing that I had never had any problems at all. Then I suddenly got a message that the servers were being changed. Hee hee, and the message I had written disappeared! So, because I have been thick with flu the last few days or so, I sat wrapped up on the couch and have been watching telly all day.

It's lovely to have the forum back up and running again, even if I didn't notice that it was down beforehand! If I couldn't come on here I would miss the lovely friends and family I've made on here too much! I would also miss being able to come and chat about anything, whenever I need to.

Thanks for fixing it @Rinka
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@janemariesayed and @XmasCarol52 we were able to switch servers fully today. So hopefully there should not be any down time anymore.
As for your former posts @janemariesayed, I suppose you have posted during the switching this might have lead to your posts not being saved.
 
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XmasCarol52

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janemariesayed said:
Anger does make you shake. It makes me shake too. It makes me want to cry as well and then people think I am upset instead of angry! lol

Shame you can't meet the new couple. Maybe you will bump into them in passing or something.

Maybe it is better if you feel angry rather than lonely. Loneliness is depressive whereas anger can pass over more easily.
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ANgry I am so angry I have a sore throat from yelling so much .I lost interest in everything dont even want to knit al l i want to do is lay down and sleep to wound up to sleep today though
 
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janemariesayed

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Rinka said:
@janemariesayed and @XmasCarol52 we were able to switch servers fully today. So hopefully there should not be any down time anymore.
As for your former posts @janemariesayed, I suppose you have posted during the switching this might have lead to your posts not being saved.
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Yes, I believe you are right and it didn't save my post but it's okay. I was sure I would be able to get on again at some point. Thanks for dealing with it all so quickly.
 
janemariesayed

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XmasCarol52 said:
ANgry I am so angry I have a sore throat from yelling so much .I lost interest in everything dont even want to knit al l i want to do is lay down and sleep to wound up to sleep today though
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You don't sound like you are doing to well Carol. I'm sorry for that. So I'm sending you the hugest box of love that there is. Hugs
 
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XmasCarol52

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janemariesayed said:
You don't sound like you are doing to well Carol. I'm sorry for that. So I'm sending you the hugest box of love that there is. Hugs
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Thank yuo honey actually I am doing better today because my best friend finally got a chance to sit and visit with me for about an hour and a half we had a nice talk and a few laughs,I love her and I miss her when I cannot see her i told her that and she told me I am so sweet you know what else she told me I dont have a mean bone in my body and she has heard me yell to she knows it is due to my illness,I feel bad though because one of the men she was delivering to she found him on the floor he couldnt get up so she called 911 for him he was in no pain apparently when he went to answer the door for here he fell backwards he is in his late80 i have always loved the elderly.I said a prayer for him
 
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XmasCarol52 said:
Thank yuo honey actually I am doing better today because my best friend finally got a chance to sit and visit with me for about an hour and a half we had a nice talk and a few laughs,I love her and I miss her when I cannot see her i told her that and she told me I am so sweet you know what else she told me I dont have a mean bone in my body and she has heard me yell to she knows it is due to my illness,I feel bad though because one of the men she was delivering to she found him on the floor he couldnt get up so she called 911 for him he was in no pain apparently when he went to answer the door for here he fell backwards he is in his late80 i have always loved the elderly.I said a prayer for him
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Awwww, that poor man I do hope he will be okay. These kinds of things happen when we get older and unstable on our pins. We have to be really careful.

I agree with your friend Carol. Even though I have never actually met you face to face, that doesn't matter. I can tell that even though you may yell from time to time, that you have a heart of gold. Yelling is just a side effect of your illness and it's great that your friend understands that. I hope that makes you feel a bit better about yourself. You are a really lovely person I wish we were neighbours in real life. I would have loved to pop in for a cuppa.
 
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XmasCarol52

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janemariesayed said:
Awwww, that poor man I do hope he will be okay. These kinds of things happen when we get older and unstable on our pins. We have to be really careful.

I agree with your friend Carol. Even though I have never actually met you face to face, that doesn't matter. I can tell that even though you may yell from time to time, that you have a heart of gold. Yelling is just a side effect of your illness and it's great that your friend understands that. I hope that makes you feel a bit better about yourself. You are a really lovely person I wish we were neighbours in real life. I would have loved to pop in for a cuppa.
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I have always loved the elderly and children I feel so bad the way they get treated people tend to walk all over the elderly especially in nursing homes if i ever get sick I am going to get home care there is no way in hell I will ever go to a nursing home you couldnt pay me to go to one of those places,
Thank you for such a kind word most people who do know me know I am not mean or violent .HOwever I have to tell you something I was friends with this woman for over 30 years she had anxieties to so one day out of the blue she emails me and says all I do is complain and I have no respect fot the people around here where I live,she kept on emailing me so you know what I did i Just ignored her she even had the nerve to email saying what is the matter you have nothing to complain about so u are not writing me so I blocked her from sending me anymore emails.She evne tried to call me once I would not answer the phone she had the nerve to blame her illness on me >She tried to say I started I did not she was the one who started it I never said a thing.I dont get it because she suffered with bad anxieties and agoraphobia too. SHe did not understand my yelling how dare she say i was mean to other people around here and I didnt care about them that is not true she didnt believe in my illness that i could yell.I say f her she is gone from my life now when I told my friend what happened she said that is bs.
I would love to have you as my neighbor .What kind of coffee or what ever do you like?I love chocolate mocha and coconut coffee from dunkin donuts.
 
janemariesayed

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It has always made me feel that because I was in a children's home when I was a tot, that I would end up in an old people's home when I'm an old biddy. It doesn't bother me so much because I know I will get looked after. All I can do is hope that the careworkers treat me right. I've had it with not being treated right and not being able to speak up because no one believes me.

That woman was not a true friend to you. She had the cheek to blame you for her illness. I hope she gets therapy and realises that it was not you that harmed her. The best thing to do is ignore someone like that.
 
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