Ever Get Reclusive?

Panic57 · Oct 7, 2016

Yes, though it was college instead of work. There just wasn't time to go out and have fun with the friends I had. That kind of isolation was very detrimental for me socially but I spend the time working on my craft. So it was time well spent. If you are spending your solo time working on a big project like a business or idea that you want to make a reality, then it's fine to be alone. But if you're just hiding out from life and avoiding it, you probably just need something to make you want to get out of the house. You don't have to socialize, there are plenty of things you can do by yourself. I like going to the beach or an art museum by myself. You just need to think of something that excites you to get you out of the house.

misszerable · Oct 7, 2016

That happened to me a few years back when I separated from my son's father. Relatives and friends would suddenly call and drop by to ask if I'm okay and 'what happened?'. I felt that they just want to mock me and hear pieces of gossip to pass around. I withdrew from people and had little socialization outside of work. I didn't return calls and pretended not to be home whenever someone knocks at the gate. it was the best thing I can do to keep my sanity.

HappyKoi · Oct 7, 2016

Absolutely. Sometimes it's hard to make the effort. I used to live in a room in a very noisy, active house, and all the drama kept me in my room. When I was depressed or anxious, I would sit and stare at the wall. It was hard for me to even go out to use the kitchen to get myself something to eat, to say nothing of walking around or going outside. I'd go on Facebook sometimes, but that doesn't really count as socializing. Until I started therapy and began to get better, I didn't realize how much my behavior was hurting me. These days I try to socialize more, but it's still hard because it's not something I'm used to.

Alex · Oct 8, 2016

I don't mind being reclusive as it's a choice. It's not that I don't like people or company, but I only like good company and prefer to be alone if it isn't. As a writer you learn to be reclusive as you need to write alone and without distractions. The danger is when you forget to socialize, but that's why it is good to get out and at least go the grocery store and interact with others once a week.

DDNatureLover · Oct 8, 2016

I really prefer to be by myself most of the time these days. It's difficult for outsiders to comprehend why I stay home so much, but they also don't understand what it's like to be in constant pain and also have chronic fatigue. I find it easier to not interact overly much with people who just don't get it, because I'm tired of having to explain the same thing over and over. I do, however, look forward to someday having a better vehicle, because then I will be able to go out more and get fresh air and exercise, although I'll probably still do those things primarily on my own.

kgord · Oct 8, 2016

Yes, I am reclusive, but it is mostly because this area doesn't have a lot to offer. I live in a rural area. I would be doing much more if I was in a city area, and that is why I want to move. We don't even have any streetlights in this area, which makes going out at night a bit of a problem. I just don't like driving around in the dark. This is a beautiful area, but the lack of opportunity around here is pretty staggering really.

fuzyon · Oct 8, 2016

I used to be reclusive and that was the worst thing in the world. Wake up, go to school, come back home and sleep. That was my schedule for almost a year simply because I had no friends, my anxiety and depression were at an all-time high and I spent all my time watching shows and movies while eating junk food. It always motivates me to push forward when I think about that time, I'd never like to relive it again.

WorkAtHomeGal · Oct 9, 2016

I think I use to be bad for being reclusive, like a lot worse than now at least. Now I am not so much but I do have my days. I do have days where I just don't care and would rather be left alone though. Like just alone doing my own thing. I do seem to prefer alone type things though.

Aree Wongwanlee · Oct 9, 2016

Spent a weekend all alone at home and not see anyone at all? No, I don't think that's odd. When I was teaching, I see a lot of people every day. So during the weekends, it's my alone time. I want time to be with me and myself, and no one else. That' not unreasonable. During the weekdays, I already give so much of myself and my time to my students. So on the weekends it's my turn to live for myself.

CT422 · Oct 9, 2016

This has been my situation lately, I try to go out at least once a week, but too much interaction with strangers makes me feel almost physically sick sometimes. Just a coupe days ago I went to work at a football game, just making sure people followed the rules, and it drained me thoroughly. I slept almost the entire day afterward.

Choochoo · Oct 9, 2016

I do go out a lot less these days than I used to but I am comfortable with both going out and staying in so I don't mind. I just try and give myself some limited and some milestones so I don't get in too deep on either side. If I feel I am staying indoors a bit too much I will seek out some events and friends to go out with and when I am going out too much I will try and stay home for a few weeks to let myself and my body rest. I do know of how it feels to want to just stay in for long periods of time though so I try to be careful not to get too comfortable unless I feel it is necessary.

djanx · Oct 9, 2016

Yes I have experienced it. But, for an entirely different reason. While this got worse when I started working from home, it wasn't like very different before that point either. I like to stay alone. I feel that I work better on my personal projects. Also, ideas flow in smoother when I can hear myself think. That being said, I realized that being reclusive wasn't healthy, when I started getting a little irritable and my health started suffering. So, then, I made it a point to go out, meet people as often. And when I can't do it, I still call old friends or talk to people online, so as to not become a zombie.

2deidara7 · Oct 9, 2016

I have also experienced it. It was just during the first quarter of this year. I wasn't able to enroll for the semester so I was just idling the whole time. I was just inside my room, and I didn't go out the house for weeks. I only went out whenever I ran out of food supplies which usually lasted for at least 2 weeks. The only human interaction I had was with my sister who's living with me. She's busy with college so I don't see her that much during weekdays. I was just either in front of my computer or reading a book. I have friends who would text me and ask me out but I wouldn't feel like moving so I would reject them almost every time. They call me sometimes but I wouldn't answer because I didn't want to stop what I was doing. I knew that I was being difficult but it didn't matter to me that time. I hate how I was back then.

amy88 · Oct 14, 2016

I definitely have times like that - I think it's a season of my life right now, since a couple of good friends have moved away this year, so I feel a little isolated living where I do right now. That's proving to be a challenge...especially since they were friends that understood my SA and would just come around and hang out in pajamas and things like that, where I felt no pressure.

I do always think for me though I feel like it's quality over quantity, too. I don't want to just hang out with a bunch of people and not really have any depth to the relationship/friendship - that's just too draining for me.

pwarbi · Oct 14, 2016

To be honest I think that most people will go through that at one time (or more) during their life, and I know that I have been there on a few occasions. There can be various different reasons for being or even just feeling alone, and while for me it's just something that as crept up on me due to my lifestyle habits, but for some it can be an actual choice.

I went through a tough time, split up from a long term partner, moved job and home all within a matter of a few weeks and the pressure got to me and I could feel myself start to withdraw from people. What didn't help is that during that time I was also working from home so I didn't have any incentive to go out of the house and meet up with others if I didn't want to and I think that played a major role in becoming a recluse for a number of months.

Sometimes we need to get away from people and surroundings to set ourselves straight again, but we shouldn't do that for too long as although it might seem to be the best thing to do at the time, in the long run the harder t's then going to be to filter back into society and even though we may never actually want to, we have to otherwise we will grow old lonely and bitter about the world, and I'm sure that none of us want that.

amy88 · Oct 15, 2016

@pwarbi I definitely think you hit the nail on the head - when there's a lot of big life stressors going on, it certainly increases my likelihood to get reclusive - and I know it does for a lot of people I know, too. Past breakups I've had have been a really big one for that type of thing - I've just wanted to be my myself and not really have to deal with other people.

hades_leae · Oct 15, 2016

That's how I'am right now because I don't want to be social. I'm anti-social these days, and have been for about the past 2 years, I don't mind it. I spend most of my time sleeping or learning because I have plans to be a billionaire someday so I love to learn about business and many other things. I just don't like getting to close or close to other people.

Nothing negative happened to me in the past that made me that way, it was just a choice.

Ania · Oct 15, 2016

I suffered from full blown agoraphobia for a whole year, I left the house for the first time in one year because my mom forced me to. She had gotten me an appointment with a psychiatrist. I am very thankful she did that, if she hadn't done that back then I have no idea where I'd be right now. For sure I'd not be where I am now!

Alexandoy · Oct 25, 2016

I am usually reclusive when I am grieving. When I lost my job a few months back, my former colleagues were inviting me for a drink. But I never relented because I don't have the interest to see them. I would rather stay home and mope. Until now I am shying away from people and I enjoy being cooped here in our house.

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