Unexpected Knock at the door

HappyKoi · Oct 6, 2016

Personally, it's less a fear of break-ins and more that I get startled from the noise of the doorbell or the knocking, but I calm down fairly quickly. My friend, however, has a lot of anxiety about that. She checks the locks on the doors often, and has an alarm system on the door. Even if she's expecting a package, it still makes her anxious. She had a few scary (but not dangerous) experiences in the past, so that is where part of her fear comes from, even though she lives in a safe neighborhood now. Is that why unexpected people at the door make you nervous?
We're getting close to Halloween (for those of us in the U.S. and some other countries), and kids are going to be coming up to the door looking for candy. I personally don't have a problem with it, and I enjoy giving out candy (if not the getting up off the couch to do it part), but some people get very anxious. The best bet there is to leave your lights off or to put a bowl of candy outside.
As far as break-ins, most of those stories are urban legends. Most crimes are committed by someone the victim knows, and I don't think many people would take the risk of breaking into a home (which is a rather lengthy and noisy process) if they had even the slightest suspicion that someone is home.

x0xLikeMex0x · Oct 6, 2016

I hate getting unexpected visitors. My heart starts beating faster when there's an unexpected buzz on my door. Actually I feel the same way when I get a call from an unknown number. A number of thoughts go though my head:

Who is this?
Did I do something wrong? Is someone after me?
What if it's someone annoying/I don't want to talk to?
What if it's a complete stranger that wants to do something bad to me?

I know that my rational side says that everything will be fine, but I always get anxious.

HappyKoi said:
We're getting close to Halloween (for those of us in the U.S. and some other countries), and kids are going to be coming up to the door looking for candy. I personally don't have a problem with it, and I enjoy giving out candy (if not the getting up off the couch to do it part), but some people get very anxious. The best bet there is to leave your lights off or to put a bowl of candy outside.

We have a similar holiday to Halloween where I live. Kids basically go trick or treating as well (only we have 2 separate holidays for that - on first kids are dressed up as boys and second as girls). The best way to avoid them is to pretend that you aren't at home. So I've spent a couple of years on those night in dark house, pretending I'm not home.

Surrender · Oct 7, 2016

I hate getting knocks on the door too. I feel like I am relaxed and unpresentable in my home, and here comes someone uninvited into my personal space. I usually feel like I have to rush to put myself together and make the place presentable before I go open the door.

LionTurtle · Oct 7, 2016

Unless I'm expecting someone I generally ignore it. Our end of the street is pretty deserted and I don't want to answer the door to strangers. My brother sometimes likes to come over unannounced but he will call if he needs to be let in.

Panic57 · Oct 7, 2016

Well, you could always keep an umbrella holder near your door that has a baseball bat in it. Or you can make a homemade batch of pepper spray to keep on you when you open the door. If they come in your house by force, you can spray them and kick them out while they re in pain. It's illegal in some places but if it's at home, it should be fine to use as protection, especially if you don't have a gun or don't want to have one. I live in a house with a curious little brother so I can't have a gun without worrying that he'll accidentally shoot himself. But I have no issue having it at home since i don't live in the safest area. Even if you never use it, it can be reassuring to have just in case.

djanx · Oct 7, 2016

Well, I feel worried and irritated when I get uninvited visitors. In fact, I actually feel like not answering the door. And until a few years ago, I even used to do that sometimes. Its the same thing with me. My friends tell me when they're about to come, and so the other people who come usually have no real business with me. I don't have a peep hole, but I do have a window right next to it, so I usually ask what they want and that's how I get rid of my worries.

sidney · Oct 7, 2016

Over here in my country, gates are the norm, so before anyone even gets to our door, they must be let in at the gate. We do have people call out at our gate occasionally, but we usually know them. The dogs also never fail to alert us if ever there is someone calling at the gate. I don't think I should be anxious when someone is coming to see me especially if I know the person.

Alex · Oct 7, 2016

I hate answering the door unless it is the postman, or a friend I am expecting. The worst is Jehovahs Witness and door to door sales people. The latter are around more, but they do exist even if you live in a flat. I remember when I lived in one people would ring the bell and try to get the door opened.

Mt dad once spoke to a Jehovahs Witness and now they keep coming around. Now we have to ignore them and hide in the house until they go. It is very uncomfortable, and I wish they would understand the stress they cause to people.

oportosanto · Oct 7, 2016

I don't have unexpected visits usually, it's very rare. Usually when someone knocks at my door it's the neighbors or advertising, other people usually I am expecting. Yeah, I have a similar experience with Jehovahs witnesses and I invited them in and made them a bunch of questions they could not answer, I am guessing they were not prepared for it.

misszerable · Oct 7, 2016

I have a very good guard dog, a mixed breed, manning the front yard. She would bark at strangers who approach the gate and somehow, we know by the way she barks whether the person is a stranger or someone we know. She barks longingly when it's my brother, the most frequent surprise visitor who drops by any day and anytime just to check on me (that's how he's dealing with his own trauma over our loved ones' deaths). She barks angrily and with extra strength when it's a stranger and that really gets me into panic mode immediately. Before I even peek at the window, I would make sure that there are weapons around (hammer, bolo, knife, hard wood) and my heart always races when I approach the window I know that our neighborhood is fairly secure but I also know that crime can happen anywhere. It always pays to be conscious about security.

fuzyon · Oct 7, 2016

Thankfully I don't get too many unexpected knock at the doors, my friends know that they would feel out of place if they straight up show at my door, they usually call beforehand and ask me if they can come over. I did have friends ring my bell without announcing and even though I felt a little surprised I made sure to talk to them as much as possible, after all it's all about keeping a healthy relationship.

kelden · Oct 7, 2016

Talking about paranoia issues.... It's not bad to have some security measures, but always acting like preemptively wanting to hack off someone else with an axe is not something I would regard as healthy at all.

mauricioq · Oct 7, 2016

Same here with me... I always know if someone is going to knock at my door because I always combine plans before hand so when this happens to me, the first thing I do is keep very quiet and then I'll go see who it is. If I don't want to talk to that person I'll just keep quiet and hope that he/she goes away...

Laneorexorcist · Oct 7, 2016

I mostly get just nervous when I hear an unexpected knock at the door, and just as you, it's all about the fear of being robbed or something like that. But when I hear an unexpected knock I just look through the window to see who is the person knocking, and depending on my mood is when I decide to open up or not. I mostly don't open because of the fear, but you know, sometimes is their only job and being ignored doesn't make things easier.
But when I do get anxious is when I hear an unexpected knock at night... it only has happened to me once and they were people as kind if we were pozole sellers, lol. It was a really dumb thing, but it definitely freaked me out because it was 2 am.

Choochoo · Oct 8, 2016

I hate it so much, to be honest. It's why I tend to ignore people in my neighborhood as I don't like having many friends who are that near to me and can just go to my place so easily. I couldn't really help it though as people here are very friendly so eventually I did make a lot of friends and some have become very close with me and unfortunately it has caused some of my boundaries getting crossed but I just try and appreciate that at least the people around me are nice and dependable.

lexinonomous · Oct 9, 2016

I definitely experience some anxiety when people knock at the door. I do not like unexpected visitors. My friends know this about me, so I know that majority of the time when there's a knock at my door, it's not someone I know. It makes me nervous answering the door, seeing that it's someone I'm unfamiliar with. I have an overwhelming fear that I might answer the door to some sort of criminal. I have gone as far as to looking out the window and completely ignoring the knocks at the door. I've had people continuously knock at the door, knowing that I'm sitting in the house waiting for them to leave. I assume that if a person is not going to leave after not getting a response, they may very well be dangerous.

John Snort · Oct 10, 2016

Where I live it is highly unlikely for one to get a stranger knocking on their door. And neighbors who want something will often call to find out if I'm home before they come over because there never is a guarantee that I'll be home during the day and they'd rather not be welcomed by my fierce dogs which I hardly ever chain.

My dad once spoke to a Jehovahs Witness and now they keep coming around. Now we have to ignore them and hide in the house until they go. It is very uncomfortable, and I wish they would understand the stress they cause to people.

Jehovah Witnesses are like vampires. Once you let them in, they'll stop bothering you until you convert or tell them you have no intention of joining their sect.

As for paranoia, when you are afraid that someone may try to break into your house if you don't answer the door maybe there's something you could do to let them know you are home but aren't interested in talking to them?

amy88 · Oct 11, 2016

Honestly, I don't really answer the door if I am not expecting someone.

My close friends and family will text me if they are swinging by, and they also usually give me a reasonable amount of notice -- I am not all that keen on last minute plans where people just come by with little notice. I like having time to make sure the house is clean for guests and stuff. Not that it's ever a big mess, but I do like to just make sure things feel fresh, you know?

To me that's just common courtesy, to let someone know you're coming past or would like to see them - I guess it's not the case for everyone, though!

Unexpected Knock at the door

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