Thoughts leading to physical feelings?

[Abbeyb195]

Hey,

I usual find my symptoms relatively quickly while searching forums, but i have a very big problem which causes me so much stress because I've never seen anything remotely similar.

I obsess over things like moving my limbs, breathing, blinking. And most of the time i relate alot to what people say is depersonalisation, derealisation . which after time i always seem to feel better or learn to ignore it.
I have this one with my eyes, it did originally start off with me being quite conscious of my blinking but lead to me actually fearing closing my eyes because it just doesn't feel natural? It makes no sense to me either but its also very hard to explain. Im not scared of closing my eyes like alot of the posts I've read ie. Seeing images, darkness or feeling like im getting smaller. It just doesn't feel like i should be able to move my eylids. And i think About it constantly at night i go to bed and of course i can close my eyes whenever i want, but it doesn't feel right then i start with the questions.... How did i do that, what happens if i cant, will i go blind omg im gonna go blind *panic attack*

I find i blink alot anyway, i always have , i take propranonol which has helped me alot of times but this is just a constant thing that worries me , i guess im just hoping someone might see this and finally be like omg i Have that to!! But I've never seen any other post like it

Thanks for reading

 

[Concernedgal]

I see you take beta blockers. Been there. I have additional questions. First off do you take anti anxiety medication or anti depressants? If not.. start right away. Do you you obsess about other things? It sounds to me like you may have mild autism. Nothing to be afraid of. I am 32 years old and autism on my day was always misdiagnosed for shyness. I have aspergers. It means that I can still function in the real world but, I alway have reservations about looking people in the eye or sometimes i'm hypersensitive to light and sound. This diagnosis is a brand new diagnosis. You know I think that you may also be severely otc. Otc isn't always your cookie cutter flip lights on and off a certain amount of times. It can also mean that you want to control every aspect of your life and body. Have you seen a doctor for this yet? I will do research on this and get back to you.

 

[Abbeyb195]

Thank you for replying,
I've only ever had to take beta blockers, i take 10mg propranonol (normally just when im feeling anxious but now 3 times a day)

How my day has gone today i went back to work after feeling ill for a while, and the day went well, no major worries, i had things to keep my mind busy but now im back home sitting in my room and honestly, i feel bad.
Like im not really sure what im doing , I've gone onto autopilot again , lost appitite, feeling a bit down and my minds wandering. Im scared ill lose myself and not come back.
Honestly i haven't really felt this bad before which is why i think i need to go on anti depressants. I just want to go back to how i was like a couple of months ago when this stuff wasn't bothering me at the time. And saying that i know deep down its not permanent but i have this constant fear it is ?

I haven't been to the doctor about this yet, no, im planning to go asap but they're very busy and rarely have appointments that fit around my work which i really cant skip anymore!
I wish i knew what it was but then i start looking online everywhere and worry even more!

 

[Concernedgal]

You are suffering from a phobia called optophobia. Unfortunately as a sufferer of anxiety, you are almost certain to have a phobia comes with the territory. Mine is amaxophobia, the fear of being a passenger in a car. Its not like I 'm a backseat driver but, I just genuinely can't ride in a car for more than 15 minutes . I start to feel claustrophobic and I have pretty severe panic attacks . Severe enough to where a couple of them sends me to the hospital. You mention how you have waves of feeling better, this tells me that bipolar depression or bipolar disorder is a very good possibly. This means instead of anti depressants, they may just give you lithium, a mood stablizer. It good news that your holding down a job. I am to, a nice quiet job too , I lucked out . I leave at 6 in the morning and am home by 1:30. You've hit the jackpot when it comes to phobias didn't you?