Sometimes I'm tired of life itself

[Alex]

At times I find life is so tiring and so much effort. Everywhere you look, there is pressure to have this opinion, to stand up for this, and to achieve that. Is that life?

I'm a little tired of trying, because we should do things because we wish to and not because we are expected to. Right now I am caring for my father, so I have no job, so when people ask I say I am taking a break from life. People don't get it, and while we can afford care for my father, he doesn't want strangers looking after him. I guess I hate it when people ask me what I do, and I don't wish to have to explain myself.

Perhaps I'm tired of society being a little fake, and I am too realistic about what life is really like?

 

[janemariesayed]

It seems that you are feeling despondent with life in general. You are doing a great job, and a challenging one by looking after your Father. Do you miss going out and having a bit of your own life? Perhaps you are feeling a little worthless because of the peoples questions and expectations. Don't worry about them. Is it possible to leave your Dad one evening a week for a couple of hours? If you could, perhaps you could do an evening class. Maybe art or rock climbing. Whatever takes your fancy. Then when you meet people and they ask about you, you can tell them; I'm nursing my Dad and I'm doing an art class.
They should think highly of you, as you are a carer. You should think well of yourself too. Most people just think of themselves and shove their elders in a hospice. Where you are taking care of your Dad. Ten out of ten for you. And you don't have to explain anything to those people. If they are genuine, they will wish you a nice welcome when they see you and ask after your Father. Those are the ones to stop and say hello to and cross the street when you see the negative ones. You're worth more than that.

 

[misszerable]

You owe no one an explanation for your decisions or actions in life. I would have done the same thing if I were given a chance to do so. You are very fortunate to have been given the opportunity to care for your dad. Not everyone can afford to take a break from work to attend to the family's needs.

People and society do set standards and measure success based on what they perceive as the norm. The day I decided to set my own standards and pursue my happiness was the day I became free of my anxieties about being accepted by other people. I don't need them in my life. I have my son and my family, they're all that matters to me. And yeah, I've also learned to accept that I'm different and that I have to live with that truth. Just three months ago, I decided to take up weekend classes at a local school. The course: Automotive Mechanics. Whoaah! I'm the only girl in this 5-month class, and I go home from class with a dirty shirt, but so what? I don't want to learn to cook, sew, or paint. I want to learn how to troubleshoot cars, do preventive maintenance, learn about electrical connection, and do engine tune ups. I want more in life and I don't want to live within the labels that other people like to create. So yeah, I'm a certified public accountant, but I can dream of being a certified mechanic, too.