Solitude

[Padre]

So, I've had at least some social anxiety for as long as I can recall. Most of the time I can bluff my way through most situations. At times it becomes too much.


One thing that that I struggled with from the standpoint of social pressure for a while was something quite simple: I just prefer to be along. Be it sitting reading a book or a long trek in the desert or the forest. A lot of people in my family and community think I am odd, but you know what, nope I don't think so. It just the way I am. Social stuff make a lot of people happy, and that is awesome, but I like solitude, the sound of silence, and quiet reflection at times. And as far as I am concerned, there isn't anything wrong with that.  :smile:


How about you?

 

[VanM]

Solitude is a friend, a very good friend. Just like you, I also prefer to be alone most of the time. But I find it uncanny that I could also switch things up when I need to be around people. So I guess, we are in some ways actors. Unfortunately, society gives more credence to people who are outgoing and judge introverts as somewhat an anomaly. I hope they will realize there isn't anything wrong with us and that we are perfectly fine. :smile:

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

Yes, there are many things which I prefer to do alone. One is surfing the Web. When I am on the Web, I prefer to do it alone. Then I can go at my own speed and hop and jump all over the place as I want to. I simply cannot imagine surfing the Web with someone at my side. Another thing I prefer to do alone is writing. Writing is a very individualistic activity. When I write, I don't need the distraction of a companion. Are there things I like to do with company? Of course. When I eat, I like to eat with company. Eating alone is such a dreary thing. Food, for me, always tastes better when shared.

 

[John Snort]

When you no longer concern yourself with what people think about you and what you do, you've learned what real independence is. It doesn't matter what people expect us to do. There was a time I had to feign I was a social butterfly but realized it made no difference because the people I was trying to please didn't really care so I decided to do stuff that I really wanted. Hang out less. Spend more time outdoors with my pets. It made me happier.

 

[Alex]

There is nothing wrong in seeking solitude, but some people see it as anti-social. People tend to think I am an introvert because I prefer my own company, but I actually like company, but only good company. There is nothing worse than having poor or annoying company and that's when people prefer to be alone.


I do think we need some company, but one should pick their company wisely and if people don't understand that, then that's their issue. In life others must accept that not everyone will like the same people or things for no reason, it's just personal taste.

 

[Padre]

It is interesting; some years back I did a study on the notion of hermits, which is obviously an extreme example. The way different cultures viewed said varied wildly. From deep suspicion to reverence and points in between. Some cultures it was allowed for some (e.g., gender, age, religious station) while not others. The one I live in, the United States, has been general hostile to the notion, though there are examples historically (e.g., pioneers) and contemporary (e.g., certain religious orders). But, at the end of the day, while interesting, I know what is right for me and that is good enough provided I don't neglect my other duties.

 

[Panic57]

Are you sure that you have social anxiety and that it's not that you're just an introvert? There is nothing wrong with enjoying alone time and recharging by yourself. I'm naturally an introvert, I need a lot of time before I can deal with huge group events like work parties or parties. Then afterwards, I'm so emotionally exhausted that I ned a couple days to myself. I think most people are taught that this is anti-social because there is always a push to be an extrovert in society, it's preferred.

 

[sidney]

I actually love solitude. I feel drained and not able to have a proper rest without it. I remember when a friend was sleeping in my room overnight, and she was still here up until 11 AM the next day, so when she left I felt so relieved to be alone. Like her presence sort of drained me. Apart from that, some people are really inclined to be alone with their thoughts and have no problem with it. Others aren't though, and they seem averse to the idea of being home alone.

 

[Sue]

I prefer to be alone over being with other people. I love going hiking up in the mountains by myself, just spending time with nature. I am happiest when I am by myself. There is not stress or no worries. I feel completely comfortable and happy being by myself, not having to deal with others.

 

[WorkAtHomeGal]

I prefer solitude as well... Whether or not it be unhealthy for me I don't know. On one hand I can count who I trust and maybe 2 friends. So in that regard I don't got much going for myself. I recently picked up some books and can't wait to start reading them. I hope to start writing more too, that will help make me feel really happy.

 

[oportosanto]

I think people are not meant to be alone, we are social beings. I suffered a lot for about 2-3 years in my twenties after my divorce, I got depressed and spend a lot of time alone. It was the worse time of my life and I am glad I snapped out of it because I was about to go crazy. So solitude is ok, but not for a long time.

 

[Choochoo]

For me I don't know if I would say I prefer to be alone but more so just that I don't really have many people that I can connect with that deeply to make me want to hang out with them to the point where I'd say my enjoyment was at the level of being as if I were alone. My interests are a bit left of center and even though there are communities nowadays for every niche it still doesn't mean to me that I'll get along with any particular person in that group just because we have the same interests. I have found a few people I'm comfortable enough being with that I actually prefer being with them to being alone half of the time, but sadly they are all busy with their lives so I am left with not much option, though I guess being able to enjoy alone time is also something I am good at so thankfully I don't really feel too bad about it. 

 

[DDNatureLover]

I've always enjoyed my own company, and I'm surprised to find that many people don't seem to feel the same way. I know a lot of people who stay in absolutely miserable circumstances and relationships because they are afraid to move out of their parents' homes, or would rather stay with someone who's neglectful or abusive than live by themselves. Of course, there are drawbacks to living alone, but I'd prefer to go out occasionally to seek companionship, or invite a friend of two over, rather than living in a hectic environment and having to go out to escape that and be able to spend time alone. I've had some fairly decent, companionable relationships, but I've also had others, where I thought I would lose my mind if I didn't get out of the place/relationship, so I tend to stick to myself these days. 

 

[fuzyon]

You can't love anyone else without loving yourself first, that's one of the fundamental "rules" in life. If you don't enjoy spending time by yourself and relaxing then it means that you're either not happy with yourself which should be a concern or you have an extroverted personality, I imagine it's pretty exhausting to run around all day. I know people that need to be around others all day and people that would much rather spend their free time alone doing stuff on their own. Whatever floats your boat, I guess..

 

[JennyorAlice]

There are times that I prefer solitude myself.  One of my favorite things to do is read.  I've always enjoyed reading books ever since I learned to read in school.  Reading is my "me" time.  Reading allows me to relax and help shake off the stress of the day.  Same thing with taking a nice, warm shower or bath.  That will do the same thing.  I think it's okay to have some time to yourself to re-energize yourself and shake off whatever has been happening lately.