As most of you know on here already I am not one for taking chemical medication and shy away from it as much as I can. The problem is that I don't remember to take them every day. Even If I do take one I don't remember if I have taken it by the afternoon. I can take meds for a few days religiously without forgetting, then days or weeks go by and I suddenly remember that I haven't taken my daily pill for ages. With this new therapy that I'm starting, (I have my second one tomorrow) I have been getting pretty low. I have been trying not to think about it but I have noticed that I am getting irritable. I'm shouting at my dogs and my neighbour when they haven't really done anything to warrant such reaction from me. I've also been having flashbacks and dreams, or should I say nightmares that I'm finding are bothering me increasingly more and more during the day. Thoughts of harming myself seem to be constantly in my mind with a background thought constantly telling me that there is no point. Thankfully my dogs being beside me give me the ever so quiet voice in my head telling me to struggle on regardless. I feel like this is a wasted life and it would be much easier to end it all and just start again. Surely I don't really want that do I? Surely I must want to get myself as well as I can and live. Surely, it must be my mixed up mind giving me these depressive thoughts. Do the pills work? I read all of your posts discussing them and I just don't know what to think at all. Should I ask my doctor for meds? If he gave them to me, how can I remember to take them every day, and how would I remember if I had actually taken one or not? My memory is very bad which according to my doctor is because of my depression and mental illness and he tells me that I will probably never get better from that. So do I get meds or not, and how do I remember to take them each day? I've tried keeping a record in my diary but that didn't work at all. I'm also scared of chemical meds. When I was 16 I tried to take an overdose of pills with whisky. Obviously, it didn't work as I am still in the life today writing this. But when I do get meds, I tend to save them up to take all at once at a later date ~ just in case! Any ideas please?