Seasonal Anxieties and phobias

[XmasCarol52]

Does anyone here suffer with seasonal anxieties,? For me they meaning the anxieties and panic attacks seem to get much worse just about Oct oh forget the agoraphobia it is bad enough during the warmer weather but when it starts to get colder it becomes so much worse,I suppose being stuck inside all the time it doesnt help I am home bound so i can't go out anyway unless it is to my doctors,Even then I had to cancel my appointment,they do not like it even though they say they understand but they don't.I myself cannot wait until it gets warm out because then i can sit outside again,do some knitting talk to my friend next door but nobody else .Unless they say hi then i have no choice.

 

[Concernedgal]

I feel a little anxiety when it's too hot or too cold. That's another reason I think my anxiety may be hormonal.

 

[XmasCarol52]

How have you been feeling.Also have weather anxieties,like if I know that there is a big storm coming my anxieties get worse and sometimes blow up into a panic attack,

 

[Concernedgal]

I love storms. I just love them. I bet that makes me odd. Lol. I've been fine. Thank you for asking. Although yesterday I had thoughts of suicide again. You just get so sick and tired of the anxiousnessand agitation that comes along with it. I can relate with the anger you feel because I guess that's what i'm feeling , anger towards my life. I mean how come some people have the right to be happy and normal and others don't. I guess I call this my ... poor me syndrome. Lol. I go through it sometime. Anyway... how are you?

 

[XmasCarol52]

I am okay nervous because my land lady comes tomorrow to collect the rent she better not say one word to me about my yelling,besides if people can hear me now they must b e sticking there heads out the door,and as usual I will just say I cannot help it,it just isn't registering with her but u know what the last time she threatened me by scaring me I emailed the head of the housing authority and told him i want her to stay away from me she told me she cannot she needs to come inside no she does not,what I do in my apt is my business but she thinks that it is her,ya if i was like destroying things which I am not doing just the thought of her coming makes me sick and i want to puke lol Anyway they went and showed her the letter and she said it was mean how is telling someone u want them to stay away from you being mean?I did say she is sticking her nose where it doesn't belong she says she cares what a load of crock,all she cares about is sticking her nose into someone elses business so she can go and gossip to everyone,I feel like sh eis discriminating against me because of my mental illness she said she isnt oh no then why does she always threaten to evict me i knows my rights and they cannot evict someone from a illness ,unfortunately they do anyway not just here either other places,I have tried to get my stupid shrink just t o write a small note saying my yelling is from my illness and she cannot help it but he wouldnt do it ,Maybe this new woman will,She scares me and i think she knows it to.She has no business in my unit i did read the only time a land lord is allowed in your apt is and emergency ,they also are not suppose to ask anything about a mental illness or a physical one and she does it all the time,I guess she didnt like it to much that someone finally let her have it and is on to her. I do not like living where everyone knows your business you can even cut the cheese around here without someone knowing about it lol it is truenot you just one of my drawings,

 

[Concernedgal]

Cute . I get it. A dor able. What is your shrinks problem? They should be able to write a stupid letter if it will better your life situation. And your land lady has some serious problems. She needs to mind her own business. Your life is your own and she has no right to come into it and bring her 2 cents with her. I mean. Why is she obsessed with your life? Doesn't she have her own? Her job is to collect the rent and leave you to live your own life. Like you were saying, you don't destroy property and you don't cause problems. The problems you do have are all caused by her. She's what my mental health professional likes to call" toxic". She 1 of those people who just can't help but, to aggravate and hurt others. That's what I see anyway. They always say it's because they care or want what's best for you. Well , if she really wanted what best for you.. she would leave you alone and pardon my language but, she would stop trying to piss you off on purpose. She knows what she's doing and it's wrong. And how is a letter explaining your right to privacy be mean? All you want is for her to leave you alone, that's all . That's not too much to ask. Now that you've done that.. you have documentation saying how bothersome she is being and you can press charges next time for harassment. Because she was given a written request to stay away. If she doesn't stay away.. it is indeed harassment. Meanwhile, just try to stay calm and don't let her get to you. She probably lives for that. Don't give her the satisfaction.

 

[XmasCarol52]

well she came by she asked me how my leg was doing i said it was okay it isnt really i have to elevate them but i am not going to give her my life story.Then she has the nerve to say to me has you mother finally gotten a hold of herself yet?She is mad because awhile ago i had water all over my floor near the bathroom and they were taking there sweet time coming to look at it so my mother asked for the guys number she told them if i fall she would sue them poor babies didnt like that at all,I had a bad fall once and I am not ab out to have another one,The witch doesnt like being told off,well to bad .Her niece lives here to and i cannot stomach her either she has to stick her big nose into every ones business so you know what I do for now on when i see her outside if she says hello i just say it back or wave my hand nobody around here likes her either .get this one she knows i have yelling problems so last year she came by heard me yelling i told her to go away and leave me alone she said she was going to report me to the housing authority and to the case management well after that is when i wrote the letter,I think she was scared because now she knows she cannot fool around with me anymore.I keep on telling her i cannot help it if I yell it isnt my fault and when she did stop by that time I also called her a bitch,sorry about that but i did and i told her to mind her own business then what does she tell me later she was trying to get in touch with my son,for what?Apparently my language isnt suitable around here like i said if they want peace and quiet then go and live in a cemetary, I am sure these people have heard swears before,can you believe this she has threatened eviction because of my yelling,she threaten to evict me when i couldnt see either ,i had a catarac what did she expect. ??? Funny now she comes with her relative maybe she is afraid to be alone with me i dont kn ow or could be he is here to mak e sure she behaves. also a relative.so eh wont say anything against her. I told once before that people around here need to mind there own business because i don't snoop in there apt and they ar enot going to snoop into mine..She is the type of person who would be nice if she wants to be in front of you but then she goes and tells every body everything i am sure the entire apt know about my moms phone call,She told me my mom cannot talk to her that way that is not the way it works around here,That is bs,i see that is the way it is around here we are just suppose to just take it and not say a word,Not anymore,people around here are not all to happy with her. I think she thinks she is better then everyone else anyway.. I was fne when she was n here tried to act like her presence didnt bother me,but deep down inside i wanted to puke lol .

 

[janemariesayed]

Would it be better to move house? It seems like she just wont leave you alone. Are you up to date with your rent? If you are or not, you should get back your bond and go and move somewhere more peaceful. It sounds like you are living in some kind of hell. That is no good for your anxiety or problems. Best to get away from her @XmasCarol52 as soon as you can.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Oh I always pay my rent ahead of time she even told me I have get this a 200 dollar credit. If she would learn to leave the tenants alone it would be okay here I even heard she caused trouble for my next door neighbor because she was calling the ambulance all the time ,the poor woman is in her 80's she has this fear that someone is always breaking in. I often here her moving furniture.she is very nice, I cant move to much trouble nobody would help me anyway,if i did move then I would lose my meals friend, I never wanted to move out of my house in the first place,but my son and daughter insisted on it because of me falling,I fell here to . So I guess I am stuck ,when I first moved here I lived in another apt but when they remodeled or should i say built the new buildings it seemed like everything changed even my other neighbor has had problems with her. You should see her though when they do inspection they guy ahead of her she looks like she is scared to death actually think she is afraid of me now because I reported her..She has a relative come in with her now whenever she comes to collect the rent. I told her I could report her to for somethings guess she didnt like that to much.To bad she needs to know we dont have to put up with her bs.if you know what I mean. being agoraphobic is bad enough but having to move no I couldnt do that.I had to move twice when I Moved here and it was pure hell. I was a nervous wreck. I guess I was b orn nervous because my mom is the same way. How have you been doing? I have been doing surveys two different sites so i can get some gift cards,I love them it keeps me busy and it makes me feel useful. I am so concerned about a friend of mine she hurt herself and I miss her if i could i would go and take care of her. I love helping people call me stupid but that is jus tme i cannot stand t o see anyone hurting .It just bothers the heck out of me. Carol ps I love to draw to cant u tell???

 

[XmasCarol52]

well my anxieties and nerves are shot because tomorrow we are expecting a very bad snowstorm could be up to a foot.Anytime A storm is coming I get extremely nervous and anxious.I know we have a generator but suppose it didnt work .ugh I do have a flashlight but nothing else.If we lose power we lose heat. It is suppose to start tonight and I do know that my good friend Ellen who comes on here sometimes is also getting the storm.I just keep praying and praying that it doesn' t come.

 

[Concernedgal]

Don't worry. Think about the good things about snow. It's beautiful. And the generator will work. It's a generator.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Thank u but I havent been able to sleep all night i took 2 and a half klonopin and two requipt and I am completely exhausted well i guess the only good thing is I wont have anybody coming to visit me,this makes no sense I am afraid of people and yet I dont like being lonely ,

 

[Concernedgal]

I like to be by myself. I don't feel self concous about people judging me. I clean while home alone and I sing I dance I let myself go when i'm home alone. Maybe I should be single again.. lol. Just kidding.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I lost my husband 13 years ago this July he passed right in front of me.boy it is so hard without him.People if they are nice to me I iwlll be nice ot them my mother always told me to keep my mouth shut and to mind your own business,well sometimes that is just not possible.I sing to well so far nobody has pulled out of there driveways to leave lol Ac tually been told by many that I have a nice voice one time I was told to go on get this me American idol,oh sure I would do good with that on stage with everyone looking at me ,I dont think so,Anway we had over a foot of snow it looks pretty but it is like a ghost town around here and when i first got up i had no intenet so i just unplugged my box let it do its thing and thank god it works so far must have been a power outage or something last night,just glad it works .. Well I am suppose to get a couple of pkgs today i love getting them cause it feels like CHristmas all year long. I just lov e Christmas,

 

[janemariesayed]

Does it make you feel happier when you are singing? I don't often get in the mood for singing but when I do and I sing, it makes me feel that all my anxieties have gone away.

 

[Concernedgal]

What singing does for me is allows me to express my emotions loudly. When you find a song that decribes how your feeling that day and you sing it.... theres no feeling in the world like it. It allows you to let go of some of that emotion your feeling. Kinda like therapy for me.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I agree and sometimes I can sing rather then yell I love to watch videos on the computer and sometimes i sing along with them, I love the Carpenters,Stevie Nicks saw her in person <Olivia Newton John saw her twice,Madonna never saw her wish I could, Fleetwood Mac,among others,no not Lawrence Welk not my type of music.I did see ShaNaNa once to it was at a school when they first started out..

 

[Concernedgal]

I'm from generation x. My music that I sing consist of alanis morset , nickelback. Although I do like alot of 80s music such as Duran duran, and especially tom petty. I loves me some Tom petty.lol

 

[XmasCarol52]

For me I would love some of Justin Hartley he is an actor but what a guy,yummy.If u ever can catch This is Us he is on that he goes by the name of Kevin been on a lot of shows. He is gorgeous. However I am to old for him wouldnt mind a ride on him though lol

 

[XmasCarol52]

Please do not feel offended by my pix it gives me so much pleasure and happiness not only to draw them but to share with others and make people laugh.It actually calms me down some ,