Picking

[MahiFury]

I have posted a bit about my son, definitely has been diagnosed with ADHD, and doctors have flirted with ODD, Conduct Disorder, and Autism. There is a whole book of history I could give, but I have an important question. In all the ups and downs and different behaviors he has exhibited, one for sure has remained constant. He picks. It began pretty seriously when he was quite young, 2 or 3, by pulling out teeth, peeling finger and toenails to bleeding, and picking small scratches into long term scarring sores.While it has improved over the years, he still does it often, and I have gotten no where with doctors in how to curtail these behaviors. Does any one here have experience with picking, and effective deterrents, especially with children?


I've also wondered, is there a specific mental issue specifically related to picking

 

[djordjem87]

I am not sure about that but I have OCD and I tend to have needs that remind me of that behaviour. I have to touch things with my finger nails usually but also with fingers. I have never been diagnosed but it is very clear that it is an obsessive and compulsive behaviour. I have several other symptoms but this reminded me to that picking. I remember when I was a kid I used to go to school near a parking lot and I had to touch every hood of every car in some specific order. Also electricity poles on my way to school.

 

[theduck7]

Does putting band-aids on his scratches? Most children love band-aid's especially brightly colored ones. It might be a pain to have him plastered with band-aids all the time but if it helps him to not pick at things it might be worth it. Maybe he is too old for that trick though.


A thought on the fingernails too. If you keep them quite short so that there is nothing to pick at it could help him to keep from picking them so low they bleed.


Also, have you tried talking to him about it. It might be something he isn't happy about doing and knowing you want to help him quit may be the answer. Punishing him for doing it might be a solution too, but that might not be the right solution for him. Rewarding him for not picking might be helpful as well.

 

[Panic57]

Is the picking a nervous habit when he's agitate or bored? Most habits are connected to an original feeling, try to remember when and why he might have done it. If you can figure that out, you might be able to curtail it. Does he pick apart other things besides himself? Maybe you can exchange the habit of picking himself to picking apart a clock and putting it back together or some other hobby.

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

Oh, dear, I wish I have some suggestions to offer. I have seen this once in a friend. He bites his nails all the time, down to the quick. It really looks painful to onlookers. Not sure whether he feels the pain, but he does it all the time, probably unconsciously. I think his problem is nervousness to a very acute degree. Does your son like art? I heard that doing art can sooth the nerves. If he hasn't started yet, introduce him to the fun of drawing and painting. Then maybe he might become so engrossed in his artwork that he will forget the picking.

 

[MahiFury]

Does putting band-aids on his scratches? Most children love band-aid's especially brightly colored ones. It might be a pain to have him plastered with band-aids all the time but if it helps him to not pick at things it might be worth it. Maybe he is too old for that trick though.
A thought on the fingernails too. If you keep them quite short so that there is nothing to pick at it could help him to keep from picking them so low they bleed.


Also, have you tried talking to him about it. It might be something he isn't happy about doing and knowing you want to help him quit may be the answer. Punishing him for doing it might be a solution too, but that might not be the right solution for him. Rewarding him for not picking might be helpful as well.

When I catch him visually, I say stop picking. When he knows someone is aware of him doing it, he is more aware, but he is also a bit sneaky and will change position so I can't see. He keeps his own nails on fingers and toes near non-existent already, some of his toes are in fact completely missing nails right now, and just yesterday during school he peeled off what I'd guess to be 3 layers of skin around one finger nail. He doesn't seem to know or understand why he does it when we talk. My latest attempt at preventing it was socks and gloves but that doesn't stop it completely, since he also consciously picks as well. Band-aides... he picks those first then.

 

[MahiFury]

Is the picking a nervous habit when he's agitate or bored? Most habits are connected to an original feeling, try to remember when and why he might have done it. If you can figure that out, you might be able to curtail it. Does he pick apart other things besides himself? Maybe you can exchange the habit of picking himself to picking apart a clock and putting it back together or some other hobby.

This does work to a degree, with Lego's. The biggest problem is when he isn't watched, he will do it most out of my view (school, friends' houses, etc.)

 

[MahiFury]

Oh, dear, I wish I have some suggestions to offer. I have seen this once in a friend. He bites his nails all the time, down to the quick. It really looks painful to onlookers. Not sure whether he feels the pain, but he does it all the time, probably unconsciously. I think his problem is nervousness to a very acute degree. Does your son like art? I heard that doing art can sooth the nerves. If he hasn't started yet, introduce him to the fun of drawing and painting. Then maybe he might become so engrossed in his artwork that he will forget the picking.

Television is when he usually does it at home, he does like art, that's a good suggestion to distract him. I have noticed his entire life he has also had an intensely high tolerance of pain, I am totally sincere when I say he pulled teeth out as a youngster. He'd start picking at the caps (he had dental surgery at 3), when those came off, he'd move on to the tooth. He never complained of pain, and the pain didn't prevent it either. It seems he only feels it after a period of time has passed, as though it were momentarily numb. No answers from doctors as to why that is, either.

 

[MahiFury]

I am not sure about that but I have OCD and I tend to have needs that remind me of that behaviour. I have to touch things with my finger nails usually but also with fingers. I have never been diagnosed but it is very clear that it is an obsessive and compulsive behaviour. I have several other symptoms but this reminded me to that picking. I remember when I was a kid I used to go to school near a parking lot and I had to touch every hood of every car in some specific order. Also electricity poles on my way to school.

So perhaps look for other repetitive behaviors?

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

MahiFury , very high tolerance of pain, did you say? That's unusual. I hope it's true. However, that doesn't explain why he has this picking habit. Now that I think about it, maybe he has some kind of inferiority complex. Sort of like not satisfied with how his body looks like and resorts to taking it apart, bit by bit. Of course, this is just an armchair psychologist speaking. Don't put too much weight on my words. Give that art thing a try and keep us updated on developments. Your experience may be helpful to other people with a similar problem.

 

[kgord]

What sorts of things are the professionals saying? I would say that he probably needs to be engaged in other activities. I mean as a boy, he may not want to do sewing or knitting or something like that, but maybe painting might be something. I think he has to be engaged enough in something that that takes precedence over the picking behavior. Does he have enough outlets for his anxiety? I think if he is not in therapy he should be at this time.

 

[HappyKoi]

It looks like people have posted a lot of good suggestions, so I would say from my own experience that a big "don't" is punishing or yelling. That might make him anxious and make things worse.


With autism in there, it might be a way to block out outside stimulation by controlling the sensations he feels. Sometimes a painful sensation can override something else that he is feeling. A technique used with people who self-harm is to have them hold ice. It gives a bit of strong sensation but doesn't injure. A rubber band around the wrist to snap might also be a good idea. You'd have to monitor these things, but it's certainly safer than the behaviors that he's doing now.

 

[MahiFury]

It looks like people have posted a lot of good suggestions, so I would say from my own experience that a big "don't" is punishing or yelling. That might make him anxious and make things worse.
With autism in there, it might be a way to block out outside stimulation by controlling the sensations he feels. Sometimes a painful sensation can override something else that he is feeling. A technique used with people who self-harm is to have them hold ice. It gives a bit of strong sensation but doesn't injure. A rubber band around the wrist to snap might also be a good idea. You'd have to monitor these things, but it's certainly safer than the behaviors that he's doing now.

When I say "stop picking", it is in such a manner as to bring his attention to what he's doing, he is quite absent minded about it, which is why sometimes socks and gloves have helped, I don't say it in a chastising manner. Autism was looked at but basically ruled out. I will try the rubberband and ice, good suggestions. I hadn't heard of the ice idea before, thank you!

 

[kgord]

OK well, that might help, but trying something positive first is always better than something negative. If he has other behavioral issues, it would be much better to try to engage him in something positive first before doing something he might consider punitive. If you try to eradicate his behavior without having something in it's place he is apt to go back to it. IMHO trying some of the fun things he would like is better than something that could be construed as "being mean" or try a combination of both things over time.

 

[katmoore90]

I don’t have much knowledge with helping children however I was a picker as a child. I would pick anything, yank any piece of skin I saw, pull out hair and do whatever I wanted because it felt good. As I got older it slowly faded and by the time I started middle school it was completely nonexistent. Obviously everyone is different however I am always cautious when it comes to adding medication! Do all the research that you can!

 

[Usagi]

Look up dermatillomania. It's a skin-picking impulse control disorder. It's closely related to my own trichotillomania (hair pulling). I'm not to sure about teeth or toenails, but this could be a start in the right direction.


In the meantime, give him something to occupy his hands. Tangle/fidget toys are great, but I worry he'll grow out of them. It might be horrifying for someone to suggest to a parent, but what about video games? They'll keep a child's hands and attention occupied. It's certainly helped me combat my own trich. Sure, it hasn't gone away (it never will), but it has reduced it.

 

[DylanRowan]

Look up dermatillomania. It's a skin-picking impulse control disorder. It's closely related to my own trichotillomania (hair pulling). I'm not to sure about teeth or toenails, but this could be a start in the right direction.
In the meantime, give him something to occupy his hands. Tangle/fidget toys are great, but I worry he'll grow out of them. It might be horrifying for someone to suggest to a parent, but what about video games? They'll keep a child's hands and attention occupied. It's certainly helped me combat my own trich. Sure, it hasn't gone away (it never will), but it has reduced it.

Gotta say, this is how I managed to stop these behaviors. I suffered from trichotillomania as well. I had a ruler that can be bended in half. I have math everyday so I play with it so I don't pull out my hair.


Stopping behaviors like these also requires willpower. Changing the behaviors you usually follow and that need to stop.

 

[Schons]

Wow. My wife picks at her face every single night before we go to bed. She will look for pimples on her face when there are none. I didn't know about dermatillomania. I'm going to do more research on it. Even though I tell her not to pick she always does. Hopefully I can find some good tips on how to get her to stop doing it. Usagi, do you know anyone that has overcome dermatillomania?

 

[Countryhalli]

I never really thought about it back then, but I remember when my brother and I were young he used to pick at his legs till they would bleed. It got so bad that his legs looked like he was ate up by mosquitos, and he would itch them till they bled, but his mother used to ask him and he always said no he just felt the need to pick. They used to make fun of him and make him wear jeans even in the summer so people wouldn't stare. I believe he finally started to grow out of the issue when we were about 15 or so, we began to notice him leaving his legs alone and even started making comments about how horrible they looked and he hoped that they would heal and not be visible. I wonder if keeping something like a game or trinket in their hands would help them to not pick so much?

 

[explorerX7]

I am surprised that the doctors have not been able to offer any kind of help to the solution this problem. I have seen where children would continuously pick at any lesions on their skin before, sometimes they would make one anxious the wound would not be allowed to heal. However, I have not seen that type of behaviour at the extent to which has been described here. I am thinking that there should be a meaningful intervention for this behaviour somewhere out there but sometimes for certain types of conditions, it's not widescale, therefore, it difficult to locate. I urge you to continue to research and seek out until you may be able to find the appropriate intervention