Lord help me.

[Concernedgal]

My husband and I made a plan to go to town today. I got half way there and demanded that my husband pull over. Why can't I just do the simplest things? Like now here a sit at a local restaurant while my husband travels the only 10 additional minutes it takes to reach town. Lord i'm not home right now and I feel so detached, I don't feel that way at home but, why everywhere else? I'm staring at the wall wishing I was home,(when i'm not on my cell phone writing this of course ) . It was a bad idea to do this. A bad idea. All I want is to get back home and feel safe again. The only comfort I have right now is this hydroxyzene that I can take if things get to a panic state. I just don't understand. How can I do my CBT therapy when my body hates me? I know the point of it is to do things anyway and live life anyway. But.... I guess things my be hopeless. That's how it feels anyway.

 

[janemariesayed]

At first you need to relax. Take a few deep breaths when you feel like that. Hold it in and then breathe it out slowly. This is a relaxing exercise that does work. No pills needed! Then tell yourself that you are safe and that there is nothing to worry about at all. Tell yourself to breathe in the beautiful fresh air and thank your Husband for getting you outside. It seems like you have agoraphobia. I am like that too. I can make it outside but I suffer like you do. I can't bear it and have to get back as quickly as I can.

 

[Concernedgal]

I see your point but, it's kinda hard to feel safe when you feel like your about to die. Lol

 

[Concernedgal]

I try to live my life normally. I have a job. I try to go outside more so, you have to wonder why life won't go your way when it comes to anxiety issues? Just go away. Please go away. I felt good this morning and as it aprouches noon.. now i'm anxious. I'm not on any medication because it seems to make things worst and I try to think positive like ... this feeling won't last forever or just calm down its just a feeling. But, still life insist on being hard on people like us. Why ? I just don't get it. My first instict is to panic when I feel these symptoms and I try my best not to. But, what's a girl to do when you feel detached and overwhelmed? I try to stay strong but, it's so hard. Don't we in life deserve better?

 

[Alex]

Everyone wants to feel safe, but why don't you feel safe elsewhere. I know it helps to share and vent, but also perhaps you are asking the wrong questions.

you have to wonder why life won't go your way when it comes to anxiety issues?

Perhaps you could look at it another way, and why do you expect and assume things to go a certain way. One thing I have learned in life is to never assume anything.

You can fight this, but you have to know what the problem is first and sometimes we are afraid to admit that part. Rather than wait for a 'cure' (there isn't one) you need to find ways to tackle and overcome your fears. Anxiety is fear, but what exactly are you afraid of?

 

[Concernedgal]

The thing is that if there was a clear answer ... I would address it. I can be sitting around doing nothing without a care in the world and "boom". Panic attack. I was on my break today at work and my vision started to get blurry. (You see that's always the first sign is blurry vision" ) i'm aware that life is not perfect but, for people like us, life seems to be unusually challenging. Some times you feel as though this disorder we have seems to take what little strength I have left. I feel like i'm running out. I contiplate suicide sometimes. But, as you can see i'm kind of a coward and never would go through with it. Sometimes you get sick and tired of fighting. Maybe i'm just losing hope.

 

[Concernedgal]

Don't mind me @Alex . The 1 thing about anxiety and depression is that sometimes you come down with "poor me syndrome ". As much as I would like to give up, there's just no way I can. Thanks for your advice.

 

[Alex]

I was once at a point @Concernedgal where I didn't know what the 'problems' were, and even when a therapist figures them out, you shake your head and say no. It took a few years to realize that there was truth in what one said, and that requires eating some humble pie in admitting that there was an issue. However, when it involves other people it can be much harder to overcome. At times we have to stop fighting to figure out what to do, and 'listen' to advice and to think about it.

At one point I was too afraid to sleep in a bed in case I never woke up and slept on the sofa instead. It seems silly now, but then I was convinced it made sense.

 

[Concernedgal]

Maybe I should face up and realize that maybe I do have severe depression like they say I do. I will talk to my mental health doctor again on Monday. I just don't know about 40 mg of paxil they want me to take. That seems to be a lot.

 

[Alex]

Maybe I should face up and realize that maybe I do have severe depression like they say I do. I will talk to my mental health doctor again on Monday. I just don't know about 40 mg of paxil they want me to take. That seems to be a lot.

You know when the doctor said to me, "You have severe clinical depression" after a consultation in a leading London hospital I thought OMG. It was a shock as I didn't think I was that bad, but the fact that I had outpatient assistance and was pushed to the front of the queue made me realize that people will help as long as I was willing to do my part and not just sit there and wait for the pills to do something.

I then saw that they had plans to try and help me, and the first thing he said is that I had a pattern of running away or trying to escape issues and that I needed to break that cycle, and until I did it will just keep coming back. They were very honest in tablets can help, but I had to decide to change things too and realize that some behaviors were triggers.

 

[Concernedgal]

I see what you mean. My negative behavior is the avoidance of situations that may cause bring on a panic attack. A have a few things in life that iam able to do. I can go to work, go the a family grocery store (no supercenters please ) and I have about a 10 mile radius that I feel comfortable traveling in a car. They are trying as hard as they can to convince me to do CBT therapy and I have tried it but, i've lost my patience with it and stopped. Boy my doctor didn't like that. But, I suppose I will have to try that again and maybe if I stick with it, it will help. My doctor says that rarely does your anxiety and depression completely go away but, her goal was to allow me to live a life as normal as possible

 

[Alex]

I see what you mean. My negative behavior is the avoidance of situations that may cause bring on a panic attack. A have a few things in life that iam able to do. I can go to work, go the a family grocery store (no supercenters please ) and I have about a 10 mile radius that I feel comfortable traveling in a car. They are trying as hard as they can to convince me to do CBT therapy and I have tried it but, i've lost my patience with it and stopped. Boy my doctor didn't like that. But, I suppose I will have to try that again and maybe if I stick with it, it will help. My doctor says that rarely does your anxiety and depression completely go away but, her goal was to allow me to live a life as normal as possible

I hear you, there are often a couple of options; the doctor can make life bearable and that is through meds and some counseling, or with intensive therapy when the patient is willing to confront and tackle the issues they avoid or prefer to pretend don't exist or matter. The latter does take time, and I too took the first option so I could carry on working and just exist.

After a few years I realized it was a choice of 'existing' in that state or doing something more to 'fight' it. So I chose the latter and it takes courage because you will be alone. I stopped work, avoided negative people everywhere, and cut down the meds so my body could start to be normal. I wrote down how I felt about the issues and what I wanted to do to resolve them, then left them for a week or two and then went back and read what I wrote. The point is to see how you feel and what control you think you have and what you can do about the situation.

 

[Concernedgal]

My initial reaction is. I'm going to die... whenever I have a panic attack. Today was different, I didn't care that panic was coming . I said to myself . Fine, go ahead ,panic. And it worked. I was so glad too. I finally might be able to get control of this. That gave me hope. From this day forward. Everything will be alright.

 

[janemariesayed]

That is it exactly when you feel a panic attack coming on, the thing to do is recognize it. Know that what is happening is not going to kill you. When my shrink explained that I was shallow breathing and my heart just was beating faster to make up for the loss of air. I understood that all I had to do was breathe deeply. I worked at it, telling myself each time that I was okay and just needed to breathe properly. After a while, it became easy to deal with panic attacks. It is remembering though what to do in the precise moment. Before I have to go out, I start feeling nauseous and breathless but I don't always recognize I'm doing that because of where my mind is going. The trigger for me is having to go out I suppose and the attack always comes on in the morning of that day. I've thought about putting notes up before, yellow stick it notes around the house where I would see them. Basically, I would write on them 'take deep breaths' and that should remind me.

 

[Concernedgal]

I always feel dizzy first and theny legs feel like jello. This happened to me today. This restaurant I work at got super crowded today and I told mt self again. (Whatever body, do what you want.) I've noticed something though... using the bathroom seems to eleviate my symptoms. that's odd. I will need to do a little research on this.

 

[janemariesayed]

It must be that we all experience panic attacks in a different way. Have you thought about the time of day that you start to eat? I get low blood sugar, and if I don't eat I get dizzy and my legs give way. Now I am wondering if it isn't a symptom of a panic attack!

 

[Concernedgal]

It must be that we all experience panic attacks in a different way. Have you thought about the time of day that you start to eat? I get low blood sugar, and if I don't eat I get dizzy and my legs give way. Now I am wondering if it isn't a symptom of a panic attack!

It's like you mentioned before, everyone suffers in there own way but, if you feel symptoms if you haven't eaten in a while then that's what it is and if not... then it's panic. There just no telling anymore with me. It seems every year I have a different set of symptoms. Ugh.

 

[janemariesayed]

Before when I was having panic attacks I just got mostly breathless and tearful. But now I notice that I am getting dizzy, which I thought was down to not eating. It isn't though as I had eaten and still got dizzy. I feel sick a lot as well, and with that comes a tearful feeling. Sometimes I think I must be a crybaby, but it is just the emotions going haywire.

I don't mind so much when I am at home. My face goes a bit red and blotchy when I cry. So to cry when I am home alone is better than losing it when I am out in public. Thankfully that doesn't really happen. I cried a lot in the assessment yesterday, but there were plenty of tissues to hand and I was able to compose myself before venturing outside again. I think I release my emotions more when I am at home because it is more comfortable to do so.