Is this social anxiety?

[Guest]

Hey everyone. First off I am a 19 year old female, and I have had alot of social issues growing up, and it wasnt until today that I learned about this disorder, and I think it is what has been preventing me from so many things all along. I have moved alot throughout my life, from city to city and country to country and many people think that gives you a better personality socially.. but for me it didnt. When I moved to a new city, I went to a new high school and all throughout high school I would sit by myself and avoid conversations with anyone and when people would talk to me, I would get very nervous and try to end the conversation fast and on a good note. I made very few friends and got wrong misconceptions about me because of this. Now, I am a bit more confident but still I am very self concious, I look in the mirror alottt and I dont mind speaking with people but I dont like getting close to people because I fear that they will know the "real worthless me" and just think bad about me. Its like I have this subconcious feeling that I am meantt to be alone almost. I have a few close friends and I am a pretty girl I know it but I dont feel it which is why I am afraid to get close to guys and dating has been a major issue for me, even when guys approach me I back away because I think that they will dislike me anyway after getting to know me.


Sorry this was soooo long but this is the first time I am letting anything out and I am trying to figure out whether I really do have this disorder. Thanks and any comments or suggestions or anything would be helpful !!

 

[Guest]

lightofday, I'm not sure if it constitutes social anxiety, but from what you described, I go through the same thing.


High school was also a nightmare because of getting nervous talking to anyone.


The key is to stay confident in yourself first and foremost. You have to like you and be cool with that before anyone likes you.


I'm not saying that I'm over my social phobia, but progress is progress and I've learned a little bit about socializing through experience. I hope this helps somewhat haha I'm not really an expert.


By the way I am also a 19 year old, but I'm a guy. So I guess we've both gone through the same grades at the same time and dealt with this.

 

[Guest]

This thread is perfect for me!!


In high school, I dreaded the 1st day of a new semester. I always ended up sitting alone, because I didn't have a large circle of friends like everyone else did. I always did projects alone, even when groups were allowed.


I was often bullied and made fun of alot.. which kinda made me feel better because people were expecting me to to dumb things and be stupid all the time which saved me from feeling embarrased all the time.


At this point, I avoid gatherings of friends at all costs. No parties, no drinking, no hanging out with anyone. I have 3 friends, all of whom I have been friends with for a long time.. but no new friends.

 

[Guest]

I am no doctor, but am learning about myself and my issues. I have this thing called defectiveness and shame schema. I feel like something is flawed with me. I kinda feel the way u do. You can look it up online to read about it and see what u think. I'm sure feeling crappy about yourself can make u feel uncomfortable in social situations and lead to SA. I go to a psychologist and a psychiatrist and also am going to an intensive outpatient program for this and my other issues. Learning a lot. Try to go to reputable websites to learn info. Trust me I thought I was the only one who felt this way, talk and u will find out there are millions who feel the same.

 

[Guest]

I am no doctor' date=' but am learning about myself and my issues. I have this thing called defectiveness and shame schema. I feel like something is flawed with me. I kinda feel the way u do. You can look it up online to read about it and see what u think. I'm sure feeling crappy about yourself can make u feel uncomfortable in social situations and lead to SA. I go to a psychologist and a psychiatrist and also am going to an intensive outpatient program for this and my other issues. Learning a lot. Try to go to reputable websites to learn info. Trust me I thought I was the only one who felt this way, talk and u will find out there are millions who feel the same.[/quote']
Wow I looked up defectiveness and shame schema and I am 110% sure that is what I have. Every single description they had of the disorder describes me 100%. Thanks , I am definitely going to try to get help with this!

 

[janemariesayed]

Hey everyone. First off I am a 19 year old female, and I have had alot of social issues growing up, and it wasnt until today that I learned about this disorder, and I think it is what has been preventing me from so many things all along. I have moved alot throughout my life, from city to city and country to country and many people think that gives you a better personality socially.. but for me it didnt. When I moved to a new city, I went to a new high school and all throughout high school I would sit by myself and avoid conversations with anyone and when people would talk to me, I would get very nervous and try to end the conversation fast and on a good note. I made very few friends and got wrong misconceptions about me because of this. Now, I am a bit more confident but still I am very self concious, I look in the mirror alottt and I dont mind speaking with people but I dont like getting close to people because I fear that they will know the "real worthless me" and just think bad about me. Its like I have this subconcious feeling that I am meantt to be alone almost. I have a few close friends and I am a pretty girl I know it but I dont feel it which is why I am afraid to get close to guys and dating has been a major issue for me, even when guys approach me I back away because I think that they will dislike me anyway after getting to know me.


Sorry this was soooo long but this is the first time I am letting anything out and I am trying to figure out whether I really do have this disorder. Thanks and any comments or suggestions or anything would be helpful !!

That must be awful to be so young and not be able to join in. At your age, you should be out having a whale of a time with your friends. Yet, I understand how you feel. Always in situations like this, counselling can help and I hope you get some before many years go by. It is good that you know you are pretty as that should be giving you confidence so it is a shame that it isn't. It makes me smile when some rather unattractive people think that they are the best looking people on the planet. It is just their vanity and huge ego. You seem like a nice person and it's such a shame that you feel this way.