I need help from driving myself insane.

[Guest]

About 2 years ago I would have considered myself a hypochondriac. I was never diagnosed. Never took medication, nothing. I just feel in love and forgot all about my symptoms and thought the hypochondria was all gone. Now it''s all coming back. I''m 23-years-old and work in customer service where I talk on the phone 3-4 hours a day without a headset (that will come in to play within my story in a second) and back in February I was diagnosed with prostatitis and that''s where all my problems started. Before I was diagnosed I drove myself insane thinking I had prostate cancer, diabetes, testicular cancer, anything under the sun. I was put on medication and thought I was over it, but I wasn't. I kept feeling the urge to go to the bathroom, so I again thought diabetes. I spent days testing my blood sugar at different times during the day and I was never near being diabetic. I was told by my doctor I do not have diabetes.


Then, while still thinking I had diabetes, the mouth pain started and I thought oral cancer. Then, while thinking diabetes and oral cancer, the tension headaches started and that led me to thinking brain tumor. The headaches mixed with the tongue/mouth pain definitely made me think brain tumor. Last Friday because of the thinking off all my symptoms, I had my first panic attack. I got lightheaded, dizzy, had a feeling like I wasn't here, felt like I was going to die, etc. After the panic attack (Friday and Saturday night) I was able to sleep fine. Then, Sunday and Monday night I couldn't sleep. I could barely keep my eyes open, but I couldn't fall asleep. Then, Tuesday rolls around and I think I'm having a stroke. I started having this weird sensation in my face. I describe it as being numb or swollen, but it''s not numb because I still have full sensation and movement in my face. I had to call into work Wednesday because I still couldn't sleep. So, on Wednesday I went to go talk to my doctor. He said my symptoms were anxiety and gave me Xanax. I was able to sleep at night using this, but I couldn't rock the feeling.


Yesterday I felt so much like I was having a stroke again so I went to see a different doctor. He did the neurological exam and told me I was not having a stroke and I don''t have a brain tumor and he attributed it all to anxiety and the sensation in my face from the way I hold the phone at work. You see, I do not use a headset, so I put the phone rest on my left shoulder and lean my face to the left against the phone. The left cheek is where I feel the weird sensation/numbness. The doctor I said on Friday the headaches I'm getting are from the tension in my neck and the tiredness I feel all the time is from the anxiety. I was fine with that diagnosis for last night. Today though, I started having tingling in my hand and foot and again thought I'm having a stroke or have a brain tumor. Tonight I got the feeling like I wasn't here. The feeling where it kind of feels like you were heavily drinking, but you weren't.


This constant worry has taken over my life. I spend all day at work googling what could be wrong with me. Every little thing or little headache makes me feel like I'm dying. Doctors tell me it''s anxiety, but I don''t believe them. I think to myself, how could I feel this weird sensation in my face, the tingling in my hands and feet, the feeling of not being here and it be nothing? It has to be something? I'm going insane. I can''t enjoy life anymore because this is all I think about. I avoid hanging out with friends because I feel like I'm going to bring them down and I'm afraid something is going to happen to me while I'm out. Today, when I was talking to my grandma (who also has been diagnosed with anxiety) I felt normal because I was able to talk to someone who knows how I feel. I'm going to talk to a counselor on Wednesday and another doctor on June 21, but I don''t feel like I have that long. I feel like dying from something even though 2 doctors have told me it''s anxiety. I don''t know what to do anymore because this is taking over my life. I hate feeling like this. The only time I feel normal is when I'm sleeping or lying in my bed in my dark room.


Any ideas on what to do? I'm at my whits end.

 

[Guest]

Your symptoms are very common for anxiety. Your reactions are also very common. I believe the doctors are right. I've been there. Many folks here have been there.


Accept the fact that anxiety can cause all these symptoms. Then IGNOR the symptoms. They will go away. If you have anxiety disorder/disease, these types of symptoms may come back in a different form.


You will find your situation is common. And the doctors know this.

 

[janemariesayed]

It is very easy to forget our failings when we fall in love, and all too quickly when the love is over the old symptoms return. When we are in a couple we become a different person. We become who we would be if we live with that person. If we were to be with a different person, then we would act differently again. Different people have different interests, so each new relationship takes us to a different boundary where we partake in different activities. When we are single, however, we become what we are when we are single. We actually become whole.

I would say that when you are feeling like there is something wrong with you, think to yourself that it could be your hypochondria. Going to the toilet frequently can be a habit. So maybe there isn't actually anything wrong with you. If you are worried or concerned it is advisable to get checked by your doctor, if only to put your mind at rest.

Don't worry about dying. If you think about it, we are dying from the day we are born. We will all die eventually. When you feel concerned for your health, try to take your mind away from it by telling yourself that it is your anxiety. Then go and do something to take your mind off of it. Even if you just go and wash the walls in your home, do anything that will take your mind off of it. If the symptoms continue, then of course go and see your doctor.