I don't really know what is normal

[tinnie]

Do you sometimes get the feeling that you don't know what a normal functional body should feel like? Because we only ever get to experience the body we have and you can never quite describe every feeling, pain, pressure etc. you experience to another person. So often I watch myself and my body too closely and freak out over anything that seems out of ordinary. But is it? How do I know what is really normal? Especially if I've only started watching the particular thing recently.


Lately I've been focusing on my problems with digestion and I'm a bit weirdly obsessing over my poop. Because that can tell you a lot about your health. How often you go, the color, consistency etc. But I feel like the more I watch myself, the more obsessed I get and the less I know what is normal and what is not. I don't exactly remember what my poop was like before my issues got more frequent and I only have this one body and nothing to compare it to. Same with any pain or pressure etc. And it's so easy to freak out over stuff like this.


I hope this post makes sense and that perhaps you can relate.

 

[pwarbi]

Personally I don't even think that there is a 'normal' to be honest and if there is then I don't know what it is either. We are all different as people and we all have our own unique make up and for me that is a good thing and something that makes the world we live in more diverse and enjoyable. For people that are suffering from anxiety and depression like I have in the past, that can complicate things more as we are wanting to be able to try and fit in with everyone else, but what I found was that actually accepting that I was different and thinking of that in a good way helped me to relax and realise that I was unique and that was something I should be proud of and not embarrassed about.

 

[Surrender]

Those are interesting thoughts. I can relate as when I am feeling depressed, I realize I often focus on parts or functioning of my body and stress over something being wrong. I remember when I was 30 I was worried I was developing rheumatoid arthritis so I wanted to get tested for it, but it turned out I didn't have it. But coincidently it was the same doctor's visit that got me on some antidepressants, which did help me get back to "normal".


So I think "normal" (for me) is not focusing on the body at all, and just going about life. When you focus on a pain, and continually think about and test the pain, it is as if the pain gains life and stays with you, as long as you are focusing on it and worrying over it. When you forget about it, well, then it is gone.

 

[tinnie]

When you forget about it' date=' well, then it is gone. [/quote']
Certainly. But it also goes the other way around. When I'm feeling fine for a longer period of time, it's easier for me to not think about it. But if I have even slight symptoms, it can easily pull me back.


I'm getting tested for lactose intolerance (which I'm pretty sure I have) and celiac disease (which I really really hope I don't have), but by the time I get the test results I can't help it but watch my body very closely and worry because I don't really know if I have ever felt any different than I do now. Like for example I ate my lunch like half an hour ago if not more and now I'm feeling full even though I didn't ate a huge amount. Was I always feeling like this? Would I feel like this even if I didn't eat gluten? But every situation is unique and I can't find any pattern to relay on. I need patterns in my life to make sure I have at least some control.

 

[DylanRowan]

So I think "normal" (for me) is not focusing on the body at all' date=' and just going about life. [/quote']
I second this. I don't think people really care about the person's appearance as much as before. At least where I spend most of my day, people care more about what your likes rather than appearance. If what you like is "mainstream", then you are most likely going to be considered normal.

 

[Surrender]

tinnie Isn't it good to feel full after eating? Or are you trying to gain weight?


Have you tried an elimination diet, to test the foods you feel are problematic?


I understand what you are saying. The symptoms make you worry and it is hard not to think of them when they are there. But try doing something different with your time or mind, and see if the symptom is gone after you forgot about it. Or maybe they are still there, and it really is an issue then. It's good you are getting tested so you will know for certain if there is a problem.

 

[Alex]

I stopped trying to figure out what was normal when I met what I thought were normal people and realize there is no such thing. The best way is to carry on and do things legally, and as long as what you do doesn't harm anyone or break laws then that's fine.


Normal is something the media attempts to portray, but in fact is an ideal that is imagined because very few people are actually able to live pr behave 100 percent how normal folk are portrayed.

 

[kgord]

It has always been a quandry for people, what is normal behavior? Many people who have questions about their behavior need to use the qualifier as to how it impacts on their life. IF it is something that makes their life better, or has no harmful impacts on their life, then their life could be considered normal. Those who have problems in terms of how their behavior affects them or others, and if their behavior is negative and affects themselves or others in a negative way it is probably not normal, or is change worthy behavior.

 

[DDNatureLover]

I've always had chronic health concerns, so in some respects, my body has never worked the way others' bodies do. I agree that in some instances there is no 'normal', although of course with regard to health, there are certain ranges, such as with blood pressure, blood sugar, etc., and if you're concerned about something specific like that, I would bring it up with your doctor. As far as gut health and elimination issues, there are over the counter tests you can take, and if anomalies are found, you can bring those results with you to your doctor, and discuss them.

 

[17emilyhalko]

I can absolutely relate. My health and my mental status both make me feel crippled... I can't do things that other people enjoy because my health isn't great, and it definitely affects my mental health. It's torturous watching other people be "normal," while I get to sit on the sideline and watch. It simply doesn't seem fair! Oftentimes, my health means that I can't have the same opportunities as everyone else or even means that I don't get to share experiences with my boyfriend or friends, and I sure wish that I could. All I've ever wanted in life was three things; to be happy, healthy, and normal. It's sad because usually the people who are happy and healthy take it for granted...

 

[Panic57]

I totally get what you're saying. I'm at the point that 'normal' is some strange ideal that you probably felt for about five minutes as a kid before it disappeared. It's kind of like the statue of statue of David. He looks great but he's technically wrong. To push the ideal and reach the most pleasing appearance, he was crafted to be eight heads tall when normal human proportions are seven and a half-isn tall. Every article, advertisement, and show that pitches normal is pushing the same thing, some unattanable ideal that won't last because aging is just a slower way of dying. The best you can do is be healthy and exercise, other than that, feeling normal is highly overrated.

 

[janemariesayed]

It isn't a physical aspect that I think about with normality. It is the problems that I was born into that bother me where normality is concerned.

I don't know what it is like to have a mother for example. Or a normal family. What is it like? I've only just met my Mom two years ago. How am I supposed to behave in front of her? How am I supposed to feel. These thoughts consume me and hurt me. Having been born out of an incestuous relationship makes me feel not normal and I don't know, or will ever know what it is like to just have a mother. A mother who is not my sister too. A brother who is not my nephew as well. A father who is not also my grandfather. What does it feel like to have a mother who is just a mother, or a brother who is just a brother? I can't comprehend it.

 

[pwarbi]

Increasingly these days we are hearing more and more people question what actual IS normal, because the world is changing and becoming more diverse than what it's ever been before. What was considered the norm, is entirely different now than what it used to be and in the near future I don't think that there will be one or two set ways of doing things that will be considered normal.

That is probably a good thing because it means that the world is growing and people aren't being made to conform like they used to, but if a person struggles with change and needs to be in a set routine, then this can also be quite disruptive and I know a lot of people that are excited by the changes in society but at the same time are apprehensive at just how those changes are going to affect them personally.