How to cope up with feeling miserable all the time?

[Claraviolet]

I have been working as a Trainee for an IT company for the last 4 months or so. My mom is staying with me for the time being. I am very close to my mom and I have never been apart from her. So, I didn't take it well, as I got HR permission to stay outside of the company quarters during training. As far as I know, my mom's leave will be up in two months(medical leave. She suffers from cervical dystonia ) . After that she will have to join in her job, and I will be alone ....I don't know what to do. I can't ask her to leave the job and I cant seem to accept that I will have to live without her after sometime.

I feel depressed all the time and I really don't know how to deal with this

 

[Alex]

Does this stem from fear and the unknown? That's what it sounds like, and we all have to face things in life that are unknown. You can't live with her forever, although some people do, but I don't think it's healthy.

You need to be brave and gradually let her have her own life and to develop your own. How will you make friends or find a partner? It also appears that she is doing it because she feels you need it, but needing something and wanting it because it's easier are very different things. Fear of the unknown is part of life and it's the same when people leave home or start a new job. Focus on the future, and maybe you need to move to a new phase of life.

 

[Zeesi]

A lot can change in two months. Maybe she feels the same way that you do, and she will stay. One never knows about these things. In the meantime, perhaps you can try to make every day enjoyable. The good part about this is that your mom is still living with you now, so you can enjoy each other presently.

You say you can't ask her to leave her job, but have you talked to her at all about this? Like I said, maybe she feels the same way that you do, and doesn't want to leave you, but you won't know unless you talk to her about it.There is a real possibility that she would want to stay with you and not go to that particular job.

I have 2 moms; one that gave birth to me (my "Mommie"), and my great-aunt who raised me from birth (my Mother). Both incredible women. I was around my Mother constantly, although there was a brief period of time when I first left home and was hanging out with friends and such. My Mother and I were very close, although our relationship was often 'rocky'.
As and adult, I lived around the corner from her, and was at her house almost every single day. Some people are very close to their Mother or their Dad, and some are not.

You are close to your Mother, and that is admirable. Some people want to be as far away from their mother(s) as possible, so your relationship with your mother is a great, and valuable one. I'd say talk to her, communication is key. Tell her how you feel (if you feel comfortable enough to do so), probably the sooner, the better.

 

[Claraviolet]

Does this stem from fear and the unknown? That's what it sounds like, and we all have to face things in life that are unknown. You can't live with her forever, although some people do, but I don't think it's healthy.

You need to be brave and gradually let her have her own life and to develop your own. How will you make friends or find a partner? It also appears that she is doing it because she feels you need it, but needing something and wanting it because it's easier are very different things. Fear of the unknown is part of life and it's the same when people leave home or start a new job. Focus on the future, and maybe you need to move to a new phase of life.

Not really. I wouldn't mind getting into new environment but I do mind if I have to do it without my mom. That is all. I wouldn't want close friends(My best friend who couldn't leave me, decided to take up some other path, and her family blames me for it. I wouldn't want to experience that again.) or a partner. I am content with my present life ..I just want my mom to be with me.

A lot can change in two months. Maybe she feels the same way that you do, and she will stay. One never knows about these things. In the meantime, perhaps you can try to make every day enjoyable. The good part about this is that your mom is still living with you now, so you can enjoy each other presently.

You say you can't ask her to leave her job, but have you talked to her at all about this? Like I said, maybe she feels the same way that you do, and doesn't want to leave you, but you won't know unless you talk to her about it.There is a real possibility that she would want to stay with you and not go to that particular job.

I have 2 moms; one that gave birth to me (my "Mommie"), and my great-aunt who raised me from birth (my Mother). Both incredible women. I was around my Mother constantly, although there was a brief period of time when I first left home and was hanging out with friends and such. My Mother and I were very close, although our relationship was often 'rocky'.
As and adult, I lived around the corner from her, and was at her house almost every single day. Some people are very close to their Mother or their Dad, and some are not.

You are close to your Mother, and that is admirable. Some people want to be as far away from their mother(s) as possible, so your relationship with your mother is a great, and valuable one. I'd say talk to her, communication is key. Tell her how you feel (if you feel comfortable enough to do so), probably the sooner, the better.

She really wants to go back to her job. Her whole life, she kinda did everything that others expected from her. Now though, she would want to do things for herself, so I just can't bring myself to beg her, not to leave me.

Even if I did, I don't think she will be with me. Even if she decided to be with me, she will regret giving up her job and I wouldn't want that.
So, in a way, I am just stumped and I really don't know what to do. So, I always end up with stupid thoughts these days

 

[Zeesi]

She really wants to go back to her job. Her whole life, she kinda did everything that others expected from her. Now though, she would want to do things for herself, so I just can't bring myself to beg her, not to leave me.

Even if I did, I don't think she will be with me. Even if she decided to be with me, she will regret giving up her job and I wouldn't want that.
So, in a way, I am just stumped and I really don't know what to do. So, I always end up with stupid thoughts these days

I can kind of understand where you're coming from with the stupid thoughts, I sometimes think stupid thoughts too, when I'm stressed out, or under some kind of pressure, but things always seem to get better, so hang in there.

I know that you say that she really wants to go back to her job, but have you talked to her about how you feel? It's not begging her not to leave you, you are just telling her how you feel, right?
You don't have to beg, just talk. If, after you talk to her, she tells you she wants to leave, well at least you had an honest conversation with her. Sometimes people say one thing, but feel another, her true feelings might surprise you, so maybe at least try to talk to her.

 

[Claraviolet]

I can kind of understand where you're coming from with the stupid thoughts, I sometimes think stupid thoughts too, when I'm stressed out, or under some kind of pressure, but things always seem to get better, so hang in there.

I know that you say that she really wants to go back to her job, but have you talked to her about how you feel? It's not begging her not to leave you, you are just telling her how you feel, right?
You don't have to beg, just talk. If, after you talk to her, she tells you she wants to leave, well at least you had an honest conversation with her. Sometimes people say one thing, but feel another, her true feelings might surprise you, so maybe at least try to talk to her.

Thank you for your suggestion Zeesi.
I have tried this approach. She said, she wouldn't know what to do the entire day, if she were to stay at home permanently. She believe that she will go crazy without any real job. I don't know what to say to that. I wish, she could take it easy but she is a hard working woman. So, may be giving up her job scares her.

I don't know what to think. I wish I could give up my job and live with her by doing a small job but she would blame herself in the long run. I am really lost