How I coped

[Alex]

I'll keep this brief, because there were many highs and lows on the way, but one day I was at a job for Christmas and I hated it, the people, the place, the hours, the pay. The staff and people above me were friends of the management but had no clue what they were doing, and they treated me badly. I then snapped, they let me go the day I snapped (I was about to walk out too) and I decided I had to stop this cycle of medication and feeling low with no self-worth. I had to take control and do what felt right for me, because I know staying in the job would have made the depression even worse.


By now I knew what my triggers were, and so I bought enough food for a couple of months and avoided seeing or speaking to people, and gradually I felt more confident about myself and stopped listening to people that ego issues. I culled people and yes, I was anti-social but I needed space to heal. I decided I wanted to be the person I used to be a decade ago and I didn't like what the medication had turned me into. I took control. Coming off the medication took time, but it was necessary for me to gain control of my body and mind and I changed, and people noticed. I lost some of the weight I gained, but I would still have the odd anxiety attack, but I knew how to cope and when one was imminent.


Now this is four years on and there are the moments where I can still feel anxiety, but I am determined not to relapse or take medication again. I will and am controlling it to the best of my ability, and that's why I do understand people with issues as I have been there. Medication and therapy can hold your hand, but you have to make that leap to say you want to fight this and get better, and you can.

 

[Corzhens]

@Alex, it's sad to hear your case. I hope you are not offended by this comment of mine. What I see that is ruining you is your anti-social attitude. As you said it, you shy away from people and there are times you clam up inside your shell. My suggestion is for you to get a social life. It's like going on a suicide mission where you go out and try to gain new friends. Another option is to call on old friends and try to rekindle the friendly relationship. I know that it is easier said than done but that social life you are missing is what's making things harder for you. I really feel that you need a support group - maybe 3 or 4 close friends who are willing to commiserate with you when you are down. You cannot do the moping alone, there should be somebody to help you out like a best friend or something but definitely not by yourself. Come on, get out and find a friend.

 

[solana]

Congratulations, Alex, to finding your inner balance again. You instinctively knew what you had to do, and it worked for you. If you look at the natural world around us, you can see that animals that suffer in some way, seek out quiet, comfortable places where they can be alone and recover from whatever is causing them discomfort and pain. And what are we, but animals who have forgotten how to cure ourselves. We've been brainwashed into believing what the doctors and media tell us, giving our power away to external opinions.


A lot of healing is found in silence. In fact, you can throw most of your medications away if you have an opportunity to give yourself a decent time of rest and peace. People often forget that their "good advice" might work well for them, but not for you. At worst, people will judge you for what they regard a "lack of progress" on your behalf. It's hurtful and draining, even if they mean well, as only you yourself know what you need to do to get better.


Keep up the great work. Forever onwards and upwards!  :smile:

 

[Alex]

@Corzhens


I'm not offended, but you must have misread the whole post! That was in the past and I am not anti-social at all, so sadly all you have written is not applicable and complete wrong in my case.


I think you need to have personally experienced this to fully understand depression and from your posts you have experience via other people. Obviously I'm not going to write everything and you don't know me, but my job was social meeting and greeting people 10 hours a day and working with people, therefore when I was home I didn't wish to see anyone. That's quite normal for people whether they are depressed or not.


These days I am fine, and that's why I am on a board like this because I truly know how it feels and what not to say. What I would say is that your comments may 'trigger' someone who is depressed and vulnerable and no one wants to hear that they are 'moping' and that they have an anti-social attitude. I decided not to quote your text in the hope that may edit it as for others it may have the opposite effect and make them feel worse than they do.

 

[Alex]

Congratulations, Alex, to finding your inner balance again. You instinctively knew what you had to do, and it worked for you. If you look at the natural world around us, you can see that animals that suffer in some way, seek out quiet, comfortable places where they can be alone and recover from whatever is causing them discomfort and pain. And what are we, but animals who have forgotten how to cure ourselves. We've been brainwashed into believing what the doctors and media tell us, giving our power away to external opinions.

A lot of healing is found in silence. In fact, you can throw most of your medications away if you have an opportunity to give yourself a decent time of rest and peace. People often forget that their "good advice" might work well for them, but not for you. At worst, people will judge you for what they regard a "lack of progress" on your behalf. It's hurtful and draining, even if they mean well, as only you yourself know what you need to do to get better.


Keep up the great work. Forever onwards and upwards!  :smile:

Thank you, and it is quite true that it is something you need to tell yourself and not a therapist, doctor or a friend. There is a lot of brainwashing and telling people what can work and what they should do. From my own experience by going on 'lockdown' I found that you gain control when you remove yourself from triggers and what causes more anxiety is multiple triggers at the same time, which can be overwhelming.


When I do try to help others with depression, when I say that word (overwhelmed), their faces light up because they know I get it, and for me having a block of time where there were no or limited triggers helped me gain some control.


Advice and theories are one thing, but practical solutions are another. I would also add don't be too hard on yourself, and if you relapse then you know you have the ability to fight it again.

Save

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[Corzhens]

@Corzhens


I'm not offended, but you must have misread the whole post! That was in the past and I am not anti-social at all, so sadly all you have written is not applicable and complete wrong in my case.


I think you need to have personally experienced this to fully understand depression and from your posts you have experience via other people. Obviously I'm not going to write everything and you don't know me, but my job was social meeting and greeting people 10 hours a day and working with people, therefore when I was home I didn't wish to see anyone. That's quite normal for people whether they are depressed or not.


These days I am fine, and that's why I am on a board like this because I truly know how it feels and what not to say. What I would say is that your comments may 'trigger' someone who is depressed and vulnerable and no one wants to hear that they are 'moping' and that they have an anti-social attitude. I decided not to quote your text in the hope that may edit it as for others it may have the opposite effect and make them feel worse than they do.

I'm glad you are not offended. But I meant no offense. Maybe my English has a problem. Honestly, I joined forums to enhance my written English because I need that for communicating in the office. Maybe I should have written in the past tense regarding my opinion. Anyway, accept my apology for that mistake but again, I meant not to offend anyone here. I understand that we all have our issues and we are here not only to share but also to learn.


PS. In one thread, @solana was offended by my opinion. I am really sorry if my English is not that good. Again, accept my apologies and rest assured that I am here not to judge people but to share and contribute. I am just misinterpreted perhaps. I hope everything would be fine between us all.

 

[listener1987]

I'll keep this brief, because there were many highs and lows on the way, but one day I was at a job for Christmas and I hated it, the people, the place, the hours, the pay. The staff and people above me were friends of the management but had no clue what they were doing, and they treated me badly. I then snapped, they let me go the day I snapped (I was about to walk out too) and I decided I had to stop this cycle of medication and feeling low with no self-worth. I had to take control and do what felt right for me, because I know staying in the job would have made the depression even worse.
By now I knew what my triggers were, and so I bought enough food for a couple of months and avoided seeing or speaking to people, and gradually I felt more confident about myself and stopped listening to people that ego issues. I culled people and yes, I was anti-social but I needed space to heal. I decided I wanted to be the person I used to be a decade ago and I didn't like what the medication had turned me into. I took control. Coming off the medication took time, but it was necessary for me to gain control of my body and mind and I changed, and people noticed. I lost some of the weight I gained, but I would still have the odd anxiety attack, but I knew how to cope and when one was imminent.


Now this is four years on and there are the moments where I can still feel anxiety, but I am determined not to relapse or take medication again. I will and am controlling it to the best of my ability, and that's why I do understand people with issues as I have been there. Medication and therapy can hold your hand, but you have to make that leap to say you want to fight this and get better, and you can.

I love hearing people's "aha" moments and yours is the most unique I have ever heard! It's impressive that you have regained the feeling that you have control! Many people experience the same side effects with medication as you did, and they take themselves off as you did, but usually the depression and anxiety don't go away - and they are too spooked by their first medication experience that they're afraid to try another.


So it is really remarkable that you took yourself off a medication and were still able to come through! It's great that you know your triggers. Honestly, I don't think everyone can do it without medication - I mean, all the positive thinking in the world can't rebalance chemicals in your brain if they're off. But I'm so glad you found a victory and you can be yourself again!

 

[Ashley0323]

Its always nice to hear others stories on what helped them through anxiety and all the success stories! It gives me hope that this is only temporary and not permanet, and in time I will be able to cope better. I tend to over think every possible thing, and my mind never stops going, even on things I know I cannot control. I am so glad you found what worked for you!