Going to my doctors ,I am scared

[XmasCarol52]

I have to go the doctors tomorrow and I am so darn scared.I am trying to think of the nice prize that I will be getting after my doctors ,just a little drive in visit to dunkin donuts,Gosh I hate doctors I just cannot trust them,and now I have to have a physic evaluation which makes it more nerve wracking,

 

[janemariesayed]

Sorry I didn't see this post yesterday @XmasCarol52 I'm wishing you good luck and happy vibes for a successful visit. Try not to worry today, the doctors and medical staff are there to help you. You also have that reward to look forward to. Enjoy your donut! What's your favourite? Mine would be a salted caramel with sprinkled nuts on, oooh yummy!

 

[XmasCarol52]

I love those chocolate cream ones and if they dont have those I get a Boston creme donut and the largest coffee available with either vanilla or hazelnut flavoring

 

[janemariesayed]

How did it go at the doctor's yesterday @XmasCarol52 will you get the result of your physic evaluation straight away or will you have to wait for it? I hope you were able to relax during the visit, I thought of you and hoped that it went okay. I then smiled when I remembered you going for your reward and imagined you sitting Dunkin Donuts with your son eating your favourite with a big smile on your face! I hope that was the way it was!

 

[XmasCarol52]

She never did a evaluation she did ask me questions but the same ones they always do u know do u feel suicidal sure i do at time,do you have any friend what one.She gave me hell for rashoning my pills hey it costs money for pills something the doctors just dont get. I liked here though but I have a nasty feeling she is going to be pushy,i do not like being pushed it only makes my anxieties worse,I asked my regular doctor for a note to they wouldnt write me one either but no they sure want to get paid though. I wish there was a pill that could stop our yelling one thing she did know si that my yelling is from being aggravated no kidding she said don't use the computer so much i try not to now but i havent yelled in about two weeks now, my stomach is full of butterflies it feels like i got the whole cacoon in there.. sorry my spelling isnt what it use to be

 

[janemariesayed]

Luckily here in the UK we can have our medications paid for by the Government if we are claiming sickness benefit. Thankfully as well, I don't have many medications to take. I'm not on anything for my depression but I do have an anti-inflammatory for the arthritis I have in my hip. Can you try to do some deep breathing exercises for a few minutes? It may help the butterflies in your stomach.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I know u are lucky but here in the United States we have to pay for everything Medicare helps some but they are cutting down.I cannot believe that fool who runs the white house wanted to cut off meals on wheels,luckily they had over 100.000 donations so lets hope that doesnt go or i will be alone for sure,My stomach is bugging me today to .I can try the deep breathing,thanks for the suggestion,So how have you been feeling??

 

[XmasCarol52]

so my doctors office calls me this morning the doctor want to see me this week i have no way of getting there until june but she wants to see me sooner then that all the secretary kept harping on she needs to see you this week i got so damn mad and told them i am so sick and tired of gawd d sh-t and then i went and slammed the phone down,what part of not being able to get there don't they get??? Um, what do they expect me to do put a chair and a steering wheel on my walker and a motor just so i can accomadate them cant get there i cAnnot get there.I am so sick and tired of doctors not listening to a word I say. It is not like I c an go in anyway just like that i have to wait awhile sure maybe it is easer for them t o come in everyday but it isn t for me and besides that my doctor knows fully well about my anxieties and agrophobia she says she says she understands but clearly she doesn't i am to scared to go out anyway,that is about a 20-30 half an hour drive.

 

[Concernedgal]

I would tell them if you have something to say to me... say it over the phone if it's that daMN important. Other than that... see you in june. This is your life, yours and yours alone. You don't have to do ****. As long as you have the medication you need until then... then you stand your ground. You can't help being agoraphobic as much as a diabetic can help having diabetes. Just because you can't see our desease with your own eyes , does that make it less important? I'm with you on this one... thay need to respect our wishes. It's not about them, we deserve better then what we get.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Thank you they never called me back and I suspect they wont either they tried to pull this sh-t the last time and they went and called my son telling him I was avoiding them I was so mad I called and left a nice nasty message to them they had no business without my permission to call my son.You got to remember this is the same place that told me I had a abdomen problem from a stupid cat scan i never had taken. She just made me so damn nervous and upset why cant they just seem to realize that going out is not that easy for us and it is not always an option,I know sh eis worried i got meds to take.then come to my apt ya sure when donkeys fly. I am a diabetic but for crying out loud they can just tell me over the phone what is wrong.They know i have no transportation so what do i have to do write a book about it.NOw u can see why I have no trust in doctors.I think they what they really need to see is the all mighty dollar bill.Then let them pay for my meds we know that will never happen but meds here are so damn expensive and so are they.. I am still paying on one bill to them i don't need anymore.It couldnt be that important if she didnt want to talk to me over the phone.LIke i said just give me the meds i need June is not that far away.I cannot deal with three doctors appointments in two months ya they not only wanted to see me now but to also come in for june 6 that is bull dun. A couple of years ago i had to keep going in to see them at least once a month because I kept getting sinus infections and bronchitis well one time they wanted me to come in for a checkup i told them i was just there like two months ago she said being ill doesnt count ,what a loud of crap. I have been so upset and shaky all day long my stomach feels like it is going to burst. Why do people have to do things to upset us make us freak out and believe me I freaked out,

 

[Concernedgal]

I opted out of going to my doctors appointment not too long ago. The doctor never listened to me I mean , how many times do I have to tell them no ssri? Geez. That's all they want me to take. God. Just listen to me. I have another appointment with my regular doctor. Iam going to see what he can do for me. Maybe he will listen to me. I lucked out though.. My doctors office is walking distance from my job.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I am at that point where I just want to tell them leave me alone,I did it before and they know I am mad now too.If they do call back I will refuse to answer the phone if she was so darn worried about my diabetes then why couldnt see come and see me,or just call in my med what she had tosay to me she could have done it easily over the phone,but no,Doctors just do not listen.I have told them time and time again i have very bad anxieties and agoraphobia my doctor claims she understands but that is crap,if she understood she wouldnt be pushing me someone telling u ,you have to see them this week no way I need time to relax before i see a doctor,i am not the kind that can just pop into a car and take off i wish we could just go when we feel like it no appointments,i did tell them once if she wanted to see me so bad then come to my apt,that went well.I knew they wouldnt.thye just better not call my son again..

 

[XmasCarol52]

I am having very bad anticipatory anxieties right now because of up and coming doctors appointment on the 11 of May.This will be the first time I had to take a van my friend is taking me but there are steps on the van I am so darn afraid of falling,i Know my friend will help me but still am scared.. I am trying to think of the prize afterwards which dunkin donuts.Ugh why cant we just go to the doctors without fears,I am tired of being afraid and being agoraphobic.

 

[Concernedgal]

Being in a van is ideal for people like us though. More room and not so crowded. And that would of been my advice to you. Keep your eye on the prize. The prize being dunking doughnuts. In a van you can lay down or move around a little. Stuff like that us important when we ahrv to go places. I ride in a truck and it drives me up the wall because there's no room to move around and I always feel so claustrophobic. And it's like you said... you will have help getting in the vehicle. I think you will be fine.

 

[XmasCarol52]

Just pray that I don't fall i need loads of prayers,I almost fell today my left knee started to give in but luckily i got to my seat before i collapsed.Sometimes that will happen I can feel like I am going to go down and i have to rush to get to a seat otherwise I will fall and this was the chair outside,I have been doing my leg exercises to keep my legs strong i suspect maybe that is why I didn't tall but i dont want to find out hey I got an idea maybe if i cannot get off the van the doctor can come out to see me,lol lets face it doctors are not going to do anything to make our life easy.i am hoping this time she gives me something to help me sleep.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I have to and see my shrink tomorrow and I am so anxious now get this when i told my mom i am nervous she told me not to think about it and there is no need for me to worry.She worries about everything and when i do she calls me crazy,Don't think about it let her try getting into a van with steps. I know they have handle bars but still the idea of going up and down the steps scares the hell out of me because i need my walker,what if i fall,what if i cannot even get on the steps the what ifs is killing ,one thing u should never tell and agoraphobic is dont think about it if i could I would. She just doesnt get my anxieties nor does she even try.My family is useless when it comes to my mental illness,they all act like iam nuts a loony tune.

 

[XmasCarol52]

So I go to my doctors today they wanted me to go and see my primary no way,on june 13 for 2 got no transportation plus only two days after that i have to see my shrink NO thAT is not going to happen and i called to let my shrink know that i told them if i want to go and see a doctor that is my business and i don't have to go to on e if i don't want to, i hate doctors all of them,same old stupid ass questions,in any case i had a hell of a time with the van steps i could hardly get up them and i had to sit down on my ass just to go down them on top of that my right leg got stuck.it took almost ten minutes for me to get out of there even my friend had a hard time getting my foot out of that space.I finally lifted my leg and managed to go out of there she was so nice an d understanding,but i don't need any crap from my doctors ,they can all go to hell if you asks me..

 

[XmasCarol52]

Some good news I go to my new doctor on july 11 i am just so frightened of that van i cannot get my leg and foot stuck again,any ideas

 

[XmasCarol52]

just some pix enjoy