Fear of good things happening

[TheKnight]

Do any of you feel scared or worried instead of happy when good things happen to you? I have grown up in a state of mostly poverty and stressful ambiance and every time something good happens or everyone is happy for some reason, I feel worried. Almost as if it's too good to be true. It always ruins the moment for me. I'm beginning to grow tired of that as it seems I can never be truly happy. 


Do you know of any ways to cope with this feeling?

 

[fuzyon]

I'm always afraid of good things happening to me, probably because I'm just afraid of getting stuck in a rut once again. When I go through a good phase I feel rejoiced and fresh but the bad times are always bound to come up, I prefer just sticking to a normal life without too many ups and downs. Having an SO that can help you through your dark periods is extremely helpful.

 

[Alex]

Philosophically  what is good? It means different  things to each of us. I don't  think it's  fear, but a sense of do you deserve it, and you get to understand life isn't  about what is always fair. It ought to be, but that isn't  the reality in society. 


Be appreciative of what you have, and while good things may happen, isn't  it better than bad things? Maybe you are overthinking, and feel that you may get used to good things happening? 


To be honest , with the US situation the world can do with some good things happening, and no one should fear that.

 

[TheKnight]

I'm always afraid of good things happening to me, probably because I'm just afraid of getting stuck in a rut once again. When I go through a good phase I feel rejoiced and fresh but the bad times are always bound to come up, I prefer just sticking to a normal life without too many ups and downs. Having an SO that can help you through your dark periods is extremely helpful.





 

That's exactly how I feel. I just want a boring day without anything bad or good happening. I am very thankful for those days and always pray for it. A bit of fun is nice too once in a while. 

Philosophically  what is good? It means different  things to each of us. I don't  think it's  fear, but a sense of do you deserve it, and you get to understand life isn't  about what is always fair. It ought to be, but that isn't  the reality in society. 


Be appreciative of what you have, and while good things may happen, isn't  it better than bad things? Maybe you are overthinking, and feel that you may get used to good things happening? 


To be honest , with the US situation the world can do with some good things happening, and no one should fear that.





 

It isn't about deserving it or not because I think I deserve what happened but apparently not. I just fear it because every time something good happens, something bad always follows. It's mostly the fear of the bad but it's caused by the good. 


It's also not about not appreciating my life now. I do very much. I also appreciate the good things but I still fear the bad that may happen afterwards.


By good I mean that one day I won 100 dollars on the scratch cards then a crush messaged me that same day. The bad though is that the next day, someone I know got into a car crash. 

 

[Alex]

Trying to figure out life isn't  possible. Bad things happen to good people  or people who do good things. We can't expect to always have good things happen, but that doesn't mean we should lower our exoectations.


Bad things don't always follow good things, and I was mentoring  a younger friend who kept thinking she was in a bad situation but the fact is she created it herself, and it wasn't actually that bad. It was only bad in relation to her limited experience.

 

[biege]

We'll, I guess there are times when I feel the same thing because sometimes it feels like you don't deserve what you've gotten like there are a lot of people better than you. Say for example you've got promoted, out of the applicants you're just one of the average guy but then there some who are exceptional and after the hiring process you've found out that you were selected out of many, at first I felt that I didn't deserve the promotion seeing how others compete to you but after a while I feel like, why are they going to hire me if I didn't outperform the others. I just accepted the fact in the end because I felt that worrying too much isn't going to help me with the job transition. 

 

[tomorrow]

Yes, I have seen people being a little worried over good things saying that something wrong will happen followed by it.  They say it is the rule of the universe to maintain balance in the world. For example suppose you won a bumper prize in a lottery this would be followed by a very unpleasant happening.  So they are not able to enjoy the moment.


To be frank I don't believe in that theory.  I think we can ward off these negative feelings if we can contribute a part of our wealth towards something like charity.  By doing so you may experience the joy of giving which can eliminate any negative thoughts and also gives a meaning for our life. If we think in lines of those people we are also helping the universe to maintain balance through this activity. 

 

[thisnthat]

I used to experience that sense of "waiting for the other shoe to drop." I get what you're saying. I think the best thing you can do is try to start living in the moment more. Enjoy right now. Enjoy those good moments. It will help strengthen you for the not so good days (and they will come - we all have them). It also helps me to count my blessings. Even on a bad day, I'm better off than a lot of other people are.


Try to stay positive and look forward to the good moments. They don't trigger bad ones, but bad ones still happen, so make the most of the good ones.

 

[TheKnight]

Yes, I have seen people being a little worried over good things saying that something wrong will happen followed by it.  They say it is the rule of the universe to maintain balance in the world. For example suppose you won a bumper prize in a lottery this would be followed by a very unpleasant happening.  So they are not able to enjoy the moment.


To be frank I don't believe in that theory.  I think we can ward off these negative feelings if we can contribute a part of our wealth towards something like charity.  By doing so you may experience the joy of giving which can eliminate any negative thoughts and also gives a meaning for our life. If we think in lines of those people we are also helping the universe to maintain balance through this activity. 





 

I don't want to believe in it either and I don't believe it much at all but it's just the luck I have is terrible. Like I have a 50/50 shot of landing a good day and always end up with the short stick. I don't believe in luck either but it always happens and happens so much that it has come to a point of causing fear. 

 

[Donna Ward]

Do any of you feel scared or worried instead of happy when good things happen to you? I have grown up in a state of mostly poverty and stressful ambiance and every time something good happens or everyone is happy for some reason, I feel worried. Almost as if it's too good to be true. It always ruins the moment for me. I'm beginning to grow tired of that as it seems I can never be truly happy.


Do you know of any ways to cope with this feeling?

Here is a book that might be helpful. It is about cooperating and partnering with a God who cannot unilaterally control or prevent bad things from happening. Life is adventurous when we conspire with God in the quest to squeeze all the good we can out of bad things that happen. https://www.amazon.com/Uncontrolling-Love-God-Relational-Providence/dp/0830840842/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1529771851&sr=1-2&keywords=the+uncontrolling+love+of+god