Fear of Driving and Drivers Test

[AnxietyMuffins]

I tried driving when I was younger. People always yelled at me. I failed the drivers test for a stupid reason. When I tried learning again, I freeze up at intersections. I depend on my husband to drive. When we move he is supposed to help me learn. I have a feeling he will lose paitence and yell at me. Can anybody tell me how they got through this?

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[janemariesayed]

Hi @AnxietyMuffins As it seems you are anxious to drive it may be better if you took lessons with a driving school. It wouldn't be a good idea for your husband to teach you. Driving schools have teachers who are good with nervous pupils and you can state that when you call them to book a lesson.

I was lucky enough to drive in my teens and passed my test first time, but I'm having a panic on driving on roads I don't know at the moment due to anxiety. I think the best thing would be for you to get professional lessons with a teacher who is adept at tutoring nervous pupils. You will be driving around like the rest of us in no time at all.

 

[AnxietyMuffins]

Hi @AnxietyMuffins As it seems you are anxious to drive it may be better if you took lessons with a driving school. It wouldn't be a good idea for your husband to teach you. Driving schools have teachers who are good with nervous pupils and you can state that when you call them to book a lesson.

I was lucky enough to drive in my teens and passed my test first time, but I'm having a panic on driving on roads I don't know at the moment due to anxiety. I think the best thing would be for you to get professional lessons with a teacher who is adept at tutoring nervous pupils. You will be driving around like the rest of us in no time at all.

I tried that once. I hired a driving school and discussed with the teacher about my anxiety. He claimed he understood but ended up yelling at me anyway. That was a long time ago. So I might give that idea another chance. Thank you.

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[janemariesayed]

Things are a lot different now. When you give the driving school a call, ask them first if they have a tutor for nervous pupils. Most driving schools can accommodate. It's a shame what happened to you, it should be a rarity, though. If by chance, it happened the same again, you can put in a complaint. Do give it a try again as I think learning to drive with your husband as your teacher will cause you to leave driving alone altogether.

 

[Kaynil]

I am afraid of driving because a car is a lethal weapon and I am by nature a distracted person. I don't trust myself much with a car and I find public transport around this area to be excellent. Oddly enough I still want to get my license because you never know when there can be an emergency where you being able to drive can make a difference. I'll learn.

My advice to you is to take it easy and never go again with someone who already had shown impatience with you even if they are family or haven't gone off yet. There are people and instructors that will understand and adapt to your curve of learning. I am sorry you had bad experiences. I wish you best of luck so everything goes smoothly this time.

 

[Concernedgal]

Hi @AnxietyMuffins . I am also 33 and haven't yet obtained a drivers license. I know how to drive to a certain extent but, the prospect of having to drive everyday is frightening. When you suffer from amaxophobia like I do which is a fear being a passenger in a car it's not much better when you have the added stress of having to actually control the vehicle. Yikes. I may never drive and that bothers me to a certain extent ,but, I don't suppose I can do much about it. If I had 3 wishes. I would ask for nothing else but, to end this suffering of anxiety and depression for all the world. Nobody deserves to suffer this way .

 

[AnxietyMuffins]

Something else that makes this terrible for me.
Is the fact that people I work with see my husband drop me off and pick me up. They question it and they wonder if I know how to drive. I used to be honest about it. But after the humiliating reactions. I don't know what to say without lying. People really try to dig and figure your life out for the sake of gossip. It tears me up inside.

 

[Snapdragon]

I'm 26 and cannot drive, so I walk most places. Sometimes I'll take a cab/taxi if my social anxiety isn't too bad.

It's not that I'm not capable of driving though, my anxiety is just too high. I dissociate when I get too anxious and I feel that makes me a threat on the roads. I can't focus, I panic, and if my stress gets too high, I have seizures (though admittedly, not often). I think it's just better for me, and other drivers, that I don't drive.

I do admit though, I feel a lot of pressure to drive regardless. Especially from my job provider, since it limits my chances of finding work. Friends and family don't often understand either, and tell me how "everyone gets anxious learning to drive," not realizing my anxiety is a bit worse then just being a bit nervous.

 

[Decentlady]

I learnt driving and got the license way back. I also drove for a short period of time however, I somehow always had problems with distance judgements and so I stopped driving totally.

I haven't driven for years now. If I have to drive it has to be in a less trafficked area with road rules and I may need a lot of practice even at that.

 

[pwarbi]

I'm 39 years old, and even though I can drive and passed my test when I was 18, I only drive these days if I really have to. For me it's just a matter of getting my confidence back, as when I was suffering from anxiety and depression, I lost faith in the fact that I could do anything right. With a lot of people that suffer with anxiety and depression and other mental illnesses, it's the confidence in yourself that disappears first and it's also the hardest thing to get back.

Once you make the small steps and start to find faith in yourself again, even though it takes time, the things that you used to enjoy and do before, you start to do again and when that happens it's another huge leap towards your recovery.

 

[misszerable]

I'm a holder of a driver's license but I have to admit that I'm still nervous about driving in the city. Too nervous that I would brave public transportation to get to work everyday. I only use the car during weekends when I have to attend a class and when traffic is lighter than usual. It was my brother who taught me to drive and I was a slow and nervous learner. I found it stressful to be doing a lot of things at the same time. It didn't help that at that time, there were news about a driver who accidentally stepped up on the gas pedal instead of the brake pedal to stop the car from hitting a pupil who was then crossing the street. I learned by first accepting that I can only do it bit by bit so my brother and I just made it an occasion to bond so there'd be less pressure on me. I can't say that my brother was the best driving teacher, but at least he gave me space to learn on my own time. There were occasions that he, too, lost patience, and expressed exasperation but I took it as part of the learning process, since the lessons were free anyway.

 

[moondebi]

I drive, though not so often.
I do not have an anxiety, but have an ire to drive in jam-packed roads. Here, I need to tell that I've learned driving through driving schools. So, getting a licence is not difficult even if you're not a pro. However, learning to drive and driving in the city conditions are completely different experiences. I had to literally practice for a good amount of time finally before taking on the roads. Practice brings up the confidence which is paramount to get rid of driving anxiety.

 

[pwarbi]

I drive, though not so often.
I do not have an anxiety, but have an ire to drive in jam-packed roads. Here, I need to tell that I've learned driving through driving schools. So, getting a licence is not difficult even if you're not a pro. However, learning to drive and driving in the city conditions are completely different experiences. I had to literally practice for a good amount of time finally before taking on the roads. Practice brings up the confidence which is paramount to get rid of driving anxiety.

Getting that confidence behind you is imperative to feeling confident, I agree. The problem is of course is that to get that practice and that confidence then you have to have the confidence to get in the car and drive in the first place, and I think that's where a lot of people come unstuck. Like I said I used to be a very confident person, and would drive anywhere but when that confidence leaves you (for whatever reason) then it takes time to get it back.

You think you can do it...you maybe even KNOW for a fact that you can do it but it's that confidence you need to prove to yourself and to others that you actually physically can do it. Worrying about things is often worse than actually doing them for a lot of people and once we have made that first few journeys we soon see that we was worrying for no reason. The hardest part for me at least is actually having that mentality to actually go and do it in the first place and take that first step.

 

[Kaynil]

Something else that makes this terrible for me.
Is the fact that people I work with see my husband drop me off and pick me up. They question it and they wonder if I know how to drive. I used to be honest about it. But after the humiliating reactions. I don't know what to say without lying. People really try to dig and figure your life out for the sake of gossip. It tears me up inside.

People can be pretty snooping but you need to give yourself permission to not answer anything you don't want to answer. Saying you don't want to talk about it is fine. If they keep insisting even after that is fine not to answer at all. You don't owe them any explanation and you are not being the rude one if they can't respect your wishes. You are just exerting your right to choose what to share and with who. I tend to grunt "I dunno" kind of answers if they keep poking after I left clear I didn't want to talk about it. Like just guttural noises to indicate I am listening but I am not interested in participate. I think it is something close to this:

 

[Rinka]

I have those repeated dreams, that I have to, because of what ever reason, drive a car. I have never in my 30 years of live driven a car and it always freaks me out dreaming about this. It's almost like those being naked dreams.
I sincerely hope that as soon as I tackled and "mastered" driving , that those dreams will stop.