Drowning sensation

[Concernedgal]

Who else here has experiences a drowning sensation when in the shower? This doesn't happen to me all the time but, sometimes while i'm in the shower my panic attacks come to surface and makes me feel as though i'm drowning. Maybe it's the temperature of the water or the water falling on my head? I really wish I knew why. Is this weird? Is this normal?

 

[janemariesayed]

Try to think back to a time when you became scared of water flowing over you. Sounds crazy doesn't it!

But have you ever been under a waterfall? Did you ever nearly drown? What is it that has caused you to have panic attacks when in the shower? What is the thought that goes through your head at the time the drowning sensation starts? If you try to recognise your thoughts just before hand, you may find out what the trigger is.

 

[Concernedgal]

You know how panic attacks work... anytime , anywhere.. I suppose it's because I have had panic and anxiety in the shower before.. maybe my brain is telling me that being in a shower is a dangerous thing to do, even though it's not, my brain thinks it is. When I have a day of anxiety or i'm extra stressed. I suppose, come to think about it. It does happen on the more stressful days.

 

[Concernedgal]

Check out what I found. I'm more convinced than ever it may be hormones that's causing my anxiety.

 

[janemariesayed]

Wow, this is very interesting, yet for myself, I think my anxiety and depression stem from trauma and abuse I went through. My Doctor did run some tests but I don't think they were hormone related. I know he checked my thyroid and B vitamins as well as some other tests. He told me my only way forward was therapy. I'm hoping it works. Do you think that your condition is because of a hormone imbalance?

 

[Concernedgal]

Wow, this is very interesting, yet for myself, I think my anxiety and depression stem from trauma and abuse I went through. My Doctor did run some tests but I don't think they were hormone related. I know he checked my thyroid and B vitamins as well as some other tests. He told me my only way forward was therapy. I'm hoping it works. Do you think that your condition is because of a hormone imbalance?

I'm hoping it is. It will an answer, somewhere to start. I think many with anxiety and depression and those who suffer panic attacks. .. all we really want and need are answers. I may be grasping at straws here but, then again... maybe not. If hormones effect your personality and behavior like they say they can then maybe I might be on to something but if not... back to the drawing board.

 

[janemariesayed]

Perhaps it may be down to hormones in your case. Your Doctor would be able to make tests and tell you if it is that or something else. For me, I know the problems that I have had in my life have made me depressed and anxious so it is a different thing, and needs therapy rather than pills. I think that if someone is feeling depressed or anxious, though, and they are not sure of the reason why, then they should consider that it may be down to a hormone imbalance. Have you had a chat with your doc? You can ask him to do a test which I think he would do if you asked him.

Then again, have you been through any traumatic experience that may have started your anxiety? Be it in your early or later years, a past event could be the problem. You need to ask yourself, is there a trigger?

 

[Concernedgal]

I have an appointment on Monday for the blood test although he said if I don't start my mentrual cycle by then, he may reschedule. When I asked him why, he said that you get the most accurate hormone reading during your cycle. Well... i'll take his word for it. And I guess trauma could be some of it. When I was a child, my dad would get drunk, come home and beat us . When I was old enough to spend the night with friends, I'd stay there as long as I could. About 2 years ago, my dad was on a job cutting a tree and almost cut off his leg, he thought he was going to die, so he talked to us 1 by 1 and when it was my turn ... I went in and as he was apologizing and crying.. I had no emotion. He lived but, till this day it kinda bothers me how much I have the ability to hate that much. I never forgave him.

 

[janemariesayed]

Ah yes, he would have to reschedule because at the time of a womans' menstrual cycle the hormones are all over the place. He would know the best time to take a blood test for hormones. That sounds wicked, I'm sorry that your Pa did that to you. I had that with my Ex-Wicked Stepmom too. (what a cow!) She was a real devil woman. What she did to me stayed with me for years.

At least your Dad apologized. I know it dosen't change what happened. Nor does it change how it made you feel. It dosen't take away the bruises that faded in their own time. But, He did one time feel a bit of remorse. Perhaps he thought he was going to meet his maker and felt he should make things right. I relate to it myself by the fact that I have smacked my dog on his botty. It is on a place on his body that would not injure him. It seems that was the only way he was going to learn anything, but at the same time, I wonder if I wasn't over-reacting.

I am severely vexed by my biological Mom giving me away. At times, in my very early childhood, I used to fantasize about ending her life. I am so glad I grew out of that stage. I am in touch with her now, after half a century and it is very difficult. She still thinks of me as a shameful thing. Yet I know, I have done the right thing to be in touch with her. I have been good, polite, forgiving up front, but she has been aloof. You know what, I totally like to believe that everyone gets their comeuppance. Nasty people like them always do.

 

[Concernedgal]

Got that right. One day she will get hers. Some people just don't know how to be decent. It's sad really. Some people are like that because they've been wronged themselves but, still, I don't believe that is a good reason to take it out on everybody else though. Pardon my language but, she sounds like a 100%certafiable bitch. Although your trying to be the bigger person and keep in touch... in my opinion. .. she don't deserve it. It would be different if she was at least making an effort to make things right with you but, it doesn't sound like she is. It's my opinion also that she s the one that feels shameful about herself so she wants you to feel the same kind of a misery needs company situation. The girl I talk talk to is kind , smart ,and understanding. She's the 1 that's shameful. .... not you.

 

[janemariesayed]

Yes, she should be ashamed because the incest was apparently mutual with her and my Granddad, with her instigating it. With me being the product. I can really feel from most of them the stigma that I have attached to me. Thankfully I turned out okay. I have all my limbs and bodily organs working well. My intellect is pretty good, or at least the same as the average person. The problem is that I feel that I am always, and have always, been punished for it. Growing up in the 60's incest was a 'no go topic' and by my research, I find that it still seems to be.

I have done loads of research, looking for anything on the actual children who were born out of incest, and I can't find anything. All I have managed to find so far is the Mother who had been raped and given birth to the child. I find that it has been used as an 'anti-abortion' campaign. Sometimes I wish that I had been aborted, as my adopted family were just as bad. If it is karma that is giving me the good old ruler across the knuckles, then so be it. Surely though half a century is enough for payback? After 50 years wrapping across knuckles they start to get a bit sore! Yet, even if I am to blame, and what I'm getting is karma, then I have to make it right don't I? Putting it right stops the cycle and then I can live my next life free.

I agree with you that my biological Mom could feel ashamed. I think I am a shameful memory for her. She must be so worried what I know, and in turn, what I may tell her new Husband. I wouldn't say anything to him though. Not my way to put a spanner in the works. Best let karma deal with it for me. That's what I like about karma. I can just get on with what I need to in my life, and not worry about being vengeful to seek justice. The universe will do all that for me.

 

[Concernedgal]

That's a horrible fate your suffering . Although you feels as though you shouldn't tell her new husband.... I think you should. The thing about karma is that karma uses people. Karma can't tell your mom new husband about the past... only you can. And as much as I know you would hate to stir the pot" as we say here in alabama " . Maybe karma wants you to. Whats her karma for what she did to you? She needs to suffer the consequence of her actions and I believe that if you have it out with her will have closer. You need closer. I truly believe that if you confront her, that will help you let go. She looks at you all shameful because your a constant reminder of her actions and that's not your fault and that's wrong. Trust me on this one... you need closer. That's what I would do anyway.

 

[Concernedgal]

The day my father apologized to me in that hospital and I walked out without forgiving him.. as cold as that sounds, I got satisfaction from that... that was my closer.

 

[janemariesayed]

You were very strong to have been able to do that. I hope it really taught him a lesson. Especially humbling himself like that in front of you. He probably felt really humiliated and wished he had never harmed you. Hopefully, he will learn now. It is a shame, though, that it took a family rupture for an evildoer to learn his lesson. I wish I could be strong like you.

 

[Concernedgal]

Closer is so important. You don't know how much you need it until it happens. You have the strength to get your closer. When I got my closer, my panic attacks reduced although they will never go away, the reduction of the attacks makes a world of difference. You live everyday with your anxiety woes because of the woman. I believe you need to have it out with her once and for all. I care about you. And although I may not suffer as much severity of anxiety as you... I still know the feeling of having your past haunt you everyday. I truly believe that if you confront her and achieve closer.... I promise you will feel a little better.

 

[Concernedgal]

You do what you feel is best for you though. I'm not trying to tell you what to do. All i'm telling you about are my experiences.