Do you forgive people easily?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by TheKnight, Dec 7, 2016.

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  1. TheKnight

    TheKnight Member

    Some people can forgive people easily and some can't. I am one of the people that can't but it mostly depends on the reason.

    If the reason isn't severe, I forget about it and move on. For example, if someone gets into an argument with me over a video game, it's fine. I'll be angry at first but I won't take it too far.

    If someone deliberately betrays me, ignores me or physically hurts me, I don't think I can ever forgive them. I haven't forgiven anyone that has done any of those to me.

    How about you? Where do you draw the line?
     
    to7update likes this.
  2. to7update

    to7update Member

    For me there is a difference between forgiving and forgetting. I forgive all the time, but I never forget. This doesn't mean that I carry the resent with me on a daily basis, no, because in that case I would be empowering those who hurt me and I would be in permanent pain. I forgive, move on, but most likely my relation with that particular person will suffer some changes depending on the event. We are always learning!
     
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  3. tyche

    tyche Member

    I noticed that after some time, my anger subsides to the point that the thought of what that person did doesn't make me feel annoyed or resentful anymore, and the thought of revenge has subsided. But I don't want to have anything to do with them anymore, and even if the anger has subsided, if the person did not make any amends for what they did, then I will certainly not forgive them and I would want to get even with them if possible.
     
    Marie Lends likes this.
  4. TheKnight

    TheKnight Member

    I don't forget what they did but nor do I forgive. This doesn't cause pain to me nor do I let it negatively affect my life. It's just that I'm never forgiving that person. Whether I got over it or not, it won't affect my daily life. I just don't want those people back in my life. To me, that's not forgiving someone.
     
  5. to7update

    to7update Member

    Yeah, well, each person has different ways of thinking. If someone lied to me or made me something bad, I feel a bad vibe when I am in their presence. Sure, if it's a personal relation I don't even need to be with that person again, but professionally we need to learn how to deal with liars and people with a bad heart.
     
  6. kingcool52

    kingcool52 New Member

    It depends really on what that person did to you. If it was quite bad such as betraying you then it may be a bit difficult but if it was just a little fight then it can be a lot easier to forgive someone. I'm usually someone that gets angry but then later forgives people no matter what. Of course if someone stole something from me or physically hurt me then I would never forgive them.
     
    Marie Lends likes this.
  7. Alex

    Alex Senior Member

    I have to admit I'm not good at forgiving people even though I know I should. It boils down to whether they did something on purpose or not, and if they didn't I can let it go, but if it was done with full knowledge of the consequences than it's harder to forgive.
     
  8. TheKnight

    TheKnight Member

    I feel as if the only way to deal with them is to erase them from your life. That's only depending on how bad the lie was but for a bad heart, I'd erase them. I usually forgive people that lie because it doesn't do much wrong to me. Most of the time, they lie to not hurt my feelings and I'm somewhat grateful that they thought about my feelings.

    I usually hate when people swear ''on their mom's grave'' that they didn't do something on purpose when they obviously did. Like, what kind of person does that knowing full well what they did? Admit it and I might forgive you. they admit something, that usually means they're sorry.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2016
  9. to7update

    to7update Member

    How can you erase someone from your life if you work with that person in the same office @TheKnight? Unless we move jobs we cannot do it and we need to learn to deal with them.

    There is the saying, those who swear the most are those who lie the most, so swearing means nothing to me really, what does matter is what I see happening in front of my eyes, not what people tell me.
     
  10. Zeesi

    Zeesi Junior Member

    I forgive people, but I don't forget. To forget certain things is to allow the thing to happen all over again. Life allows us to experience things, whether good or bad. Remembering (not forgetting) them is something natural that helps us decide whether or not we want to go down that same path again.

    Burn yourself on the stove? You remember how badly it hurt, how long it took you to heal, and therefore you try to never let it happen again. Someone hurts you deeply, you'll probably remember what they did for a long time, how badly it hurt and how long it took you to heal, but forgiving them can be freeing. You let it go, forgive them, and don't carry it around with you, but you don't forget what they did. How can you forget??

    I just forgive them in my heart, but that does NOT mean that I ever have to speak to them another day in life if I don't want to.

    Some people feel that if you say you forgive someone that means you now will/have to talk to that person again, and open that door to them again. I don't believe in that for every situation. Some people deserve a second chance, others do not. It depends.

    If someone did something especially hurtful, and I feel that they no longer deserve to be in my life, I fully believe that I can forgive that person, and move on, but never speak to them again. I don't even have to go to them and say, "Hey, I forgive you", especially since sometimes doing so makes a person feel that they have gotten away with treating you badly.
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2016
  11. bunmmybukky

    bunmmybukky New Member

    Good day, I like the is issue on ground. I do forgive easily because i was told by God through His word in the Holy bible that we should forgive anybody that sin against us. Therefore, I do easily forgive people.
     
  12. SparklyStarfish

    SparklyStarfish New Member

    I dont forgive people, EVER
     
  13. BlackMarch

    BlackMarch New Member

    I forgive people if they put in the effort to show it, but I never ever forget what they've done. Once that trust has been broken, it will never be fixed 100%.
     
  14. Marie Lends

    Marie Lends New Member

    If I can forgive people easily this will be a big amenity for me. It should be.
     
  15. Danie

    Danie New Member

    Forgive, why hold on to pain which cause anger, resentment, depression, sadness,ect... Pretty much anything negative will come out of it. You say your fine with it, but I sense your not if your asking others. Life is very short, and no one lives forever so choose happiness. Im finding myself having to forgive someone who did something awful to me, but it must be done because I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for far to long. I wish you all the best in life!
     
  16. Jasmin Cottontail

    Jasmin Cottontail Active Member

    Definitely with you on this one! I do forgive easily especially if that person is very dear to me, but never will I forget. I have to admit that I am a very sensitive person and I easily get hurt with the most simple things, particularly if one got me offended, even if that person isn't aware of it. But I normally forgive them, even if they don't apologize for hurting me, even if they did it intentionally, because I was blessed with a forgiving heart :)
     
  17. Jester85

    Jester85 New Member

    I forgive easily and sometimes am overly passive and put up with too much if the person is close to me. I generally don't hold grudges and am the kind of person who can get in a heated argument and then be chill five minutes later. But if I feel like you really screwed me over somehow, I can harbor resentment for a long time.
     
  18. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    Forgiveness isn't agreeing with the wrong which that person has done to you. Forgiveness is moving on and not giving it a second thought.

    I have held grudges for years. I am angry for the things that have happened to me in my life. The things that have been done to me have hurt my feelings and made me depressed. Not forgiving I think makes the depression worse.

    Someone told me that to forgive, you just need to walk away from the scenario. (In your mind) Otherwise, they win.

    I am a great believer in reincarnation and karma. So I believe that whatever they have done to me, will come back to them three times bigger. In these recent years that I've been aware of my new feelings, it has been easier to move on. That means that I'm not dwelling on the bad things that they did to me. This last couple of weeks, for example, someone has let me down fixing my car after I have done a lot for them for free in recent weeks. So I have just washed my hands of them now. They are still coming into my mind a bit, but I'm doing my best to just forget it and move on. It will be their loss at the end of the day because I'm going to be too darn busy to help them out in future.

    Another thing that I have heard about forgiveness is that we need to understand that person as well. Maybe they are mixed up. Maybe they have a problem themselves, or maybe they are just so ignorant that they don't realise how they treat people. It is their problem, not mine, so I choose to let them go away and reap the rewards of their ignorance without me holding their hand.
     
  19. Jester85

    Jester85 New Member

    It can be important to try to understand why people act the way they do, but at the same time it doesn't give them carte blanche to take it out on you. Their behavior may be influenced by problems in their own life, but you're not obligated to put up with it.

    I saw a quote once that said "Forgive. Not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace". In some ways, holding a grudge against someone is continuing to grant them influence over you and holding yourself bound to them like a ball and chain.
     

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