Do you ever feel like people are judging you in a big gathering?

[Xzreplays]

Whenever I am in a big crowd, I always feel like people are staring at me and judging me. I always used to feel that way since I was younger and now I feel like it has become a habit. This has prevented me from meeting new people since I always think to myself "what if they think I am weird" and everytime I am in a big crowd I don't look around to see the people around me, because I always think that's they are judging me by the way I look and dress.


​​​​​​Have you ever felt that way and how was your experience like?

 

[Tshaka]

I used to but not anymore. I never did and still don't like crowds. Whether I am in the mall, at the State fair, or in a big function I feel like crowds are toxic. I always been leery of large crowds to quote the late great George Carlin. I have to appreciate the irony in the fact that some people will judge you but they are worse off than you are. We do live in a very decadent, self-absorbed, selfish society so judging others are just a by-product of that.

 

[Jemina]

I feel that way sometimes, particularly if it's a large group of people that I don't know and they all know each other. That makes me feel more self conscious than anything else. I find that most of the time this really isn't the case but it certainly can feel like it. I try to focus more on one thing than on all the people around me and I find that tends to help.

 

[shcoo]

I often do. I have a mental disorder wherein one of the symptoms is reading neutral expressions or neutral tones of voice as angry or oppositional. This, coupled with being bullied by teachers and students alike in school as a child, keeps me on edge in new groups. Sometimes it is even a problem with old friends or family. In crowds, I try to remain goal-oriented and avoid any eye contact.

 

[lexinonomous]

The reason I avoid big parties is due to feeling like the entire room is judging me. I have low self confidence and on top of that, I have social anxiety. Putting me into a large room of people makes my emotions go into overdrive. I am constantly wondering what people are thinking. I always feel as if people are judging me based on my weight. Being overweight and trying my best to get back to the body I want, stresses me out. In social situations, I will cover myself up as best as possible and hope that people don't look into my direction for too long.

 

[Ledgendkillerz]

Everytime i am around a large crowd on my own I start feeling really insecure about myself and by that I mean I quickly start to believe that I look really ugly and unapproachable. I don't make eye contact with anyone unless someone approaches me to ask a question. I do take lesson which help me deal with these kind of problem and I suggest you do the same.

 

[kgord]

Yes, but I don't worry about it too much. Where I feel insecure is when I am at work. The last place I worked, my co workers didn't accept me and were nasty, at least many of them, so I felt that vibe that I really didn't like from them. I just didn't feel accepted by them, or by some of the clients, so the job ended up not being a good match..however, a caring supervisor could have made all the difference instead of the witch I was stuck with. What can you do?? It's life.

 

[justsayyes]

All the time. I've passed up so many party invites over the years because of my anxiety, i just get so nervous when around people and i feel like they're all staring at me, judging my dress, my hair, my hair up, etc. I know this couldn't be true because who am i to be stared at? But even knowing I'm being crazy, i still can't stop feeling this way when in big crowds.

 

[nytegeek]

I have felt that people judge me at gatherings as well. Here is what I have learned. They do. It human nature to a degree. The thing to remember is that it isn't as bad as you fear, and you aren't the only or even main target of said judgement. The judgement is usually superficial and doesn't mean they dislike you. They do it to boost their own self esteem, not lower yours.

 

[rz3300]

Well this is certainly the case when I am in big groups, and I cannot ever really say why it is. I get into that mode where I think that everyone is looking at me and I am the odd one out and that I do not belong. The more that I think like that, then, the more I act like it and the more that it comes true. It is amazing how much of it is mental, and much I know that, and yet it still gets to me. Funny little thing the mind is.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

All the freaking time, especially when I'm first entering into the place that this big crowd is, you know, churches, movie theaters, parties, classrooms, the sky is the limit when it comes to my anxiety about this specific situation, lol. I feel that all of them are looking at me (and sometimes is not my imagination, they really are) and the anxiety isinevitable at first, but when I sit down I try to think that I would do the same thing if someone shows up out of nothing, but not because I'mjudging them, it's just a natural reaction in my opinion.

 

[joshposh]

I think everyone at one time or another has felt that way. Its the public ridicule or the little snide remarks that people make that gets to you. I think it's a part of life to be confront with such a thing. These type of scenarios are typical in a high school and teenager type of settings where image is everything. As you get older you so learn to accept things and you can't change how other people look and judge you.

 

[Bea]

I do. Even just the thought of being in a big crowd sends me into panic mode. One time I got invited to my cousin's party - but it was a formal party, I don't own a ton of formal clothes, and all of her school friends were going to be there. I got into a full-blown panic attack while on the phone with my grandma, who was trying to convince me to go. I don't like crowds; I always feel like I'm standing out for bad reasons, even though people assure me I fit in perfectly. I don't think I ever outgrew my awkward teenager phase, and that's why I always feel off. What's worse if you're in a big crowd and you're alone. I have a habit of going out by myself - watching movies, eating in a restaurant, that sort of thing - which people always seem to associate with doing as a group. I get worried that they're pitying me or something because I'm alone, when in fact I prefer doing stuff by myself because asking people to go out with me makes me feel guilty for taking up their time.

 

[Robilas]

I used to have the same problem: as soon as I entered a room I could feel all the eyes on me, and it was a terrible feeling. I've avoided big parties for years because of that, but eventually I understood that I shouldn't really care about the opionions of other people.


Maybe it will sound strange to you, but lately I totally changed my mind about big parties or gathering, since I really like meeting new people in crowded places. Also going there with some trusted friends or your SO helps a lot: knowing that there are a lot of strangers can be scary, but it also means that there are a lot of other things to focus on, and you can be almost "hidden" if you don't want to be too much social. On the other hand if you go at a smaller party everybody will notice you being depressed or not social.

 

[Moroccanbeauty2266]

It depends on the whole setting. If it is a crowd of people who know each other but where I do not know any of them then I will have those crazy thoughts:"Oh, they are starring at me and judging me!" But I have tried to relax a bit and always think about it as I am not going to be there forever. It will be for a couple hours and then it will be over. I always try to stay friendly with everyone so nobody has a reason to say something bad about me. I think I can handle it better now.

 

[Sunflower_Michele54]

Hey there,


I know exactly what you're talking about. I have felt this way many times. I feel like I come across as an awkward person a lot of times. I feel nervous when I am standing around a lot of people because I feel like I stand out. I am twenty-four years old, and I look younger than that. I feel like I look like an easy target to many people, which is why I give a look of attitude a lot of times. Overall, I am a very nice person. However, if I don't feel safe, I give an unapproachable look to protect myself. I don't like resorting to that because I love being kind to people. I don't feel this way with everyone or everywhere I go, but when I do, it is a very uncomfortable feeling.

 

[kelden]

Unless you are actually doing something that makes you the center of attention, you'll not be judged among big gatherings. People get overlooked pretty quickly when you are not less or more remarkable with the rest of the average joes and janes that are part of the crowd.

 

[amy88]

It's one of the biggest things I get anxious about. I grew up with a very judgey mother and I guess maybe that's made me think that everyone out there is the same way - and that everyone is criticizing.


I struggle with group situations for that very reason. Parties, group workout classes, study groups, they all make me anxious to a degree.


Most of the time I literally have to talk to myself in my head and remind myself no one is judging, and that they are all probably more worried about themselves than anything I am doing.

 

[tiffanylynette]

I personally do not have this issue. However with some anxiety disorders it is common to feel this way. My suggestion to you is when you know your going to a big gathering take someone with you who understands what you are dealing with. They are more likely to not walk away and leave you feeling vulnerable. If your not able to attend with someone like this try to make a new friend among the crowd that way you feel like your sticking out by being alone.

 

[phollins347]

I used to but not anymore. I never did and still don't like crowds. Whether I am in the mall, at the State fair, or in a big function I feel like crowds are toxic. I always been leery of large crowds to quote the late great George Carlin. I have to appreciate the irony in the fact that some people will judge you but they are worse off than you are. We do live in a very decadent, self-absorbed, selfish society so judging others are just a by-product of that.

I agree with you, people are very self-absorbed, and are very judgmental towards others.