Bottling up and then exploding

[x0xLikeMex0x]

I tend to bottle up all those little things that bother or annoy me. I've always liked to believe that I'm straight forward about things like that, but I'm finally admitting that I've been wrong the whole time.


And when things get too much I explode. I might say things that I don't want to say and upset people really badly. Once I exploded at my dad and he ended up ignoring and not speaking to me for entire month. When I tried to apologize, he didn't accept it and pretty much told me to go f myself. We're OK now though.


These kinds of "explosions" don't happen often, but when they do, it might just end up like hell on Earth. 


So I'm wondering if I'm the only "explosive" person here?

 

[CT422]

You're most likely not the only "explosive" person here, I know for a fact that I have the same problem, and I usually lash out in anger. I've actually had moments where I got into fights with my brothers and essentially blacked out, and I mean fistfights, not squabbles. It really scared me that these things happen to me, so I've started to try and find more healthy ways to vent my anger. I haven't had a day like that in years. 

 

[x0xLikeMex0x]

You're most likely not the only "explosive" person here, I know for a fact that I have the same problem, and I usually lash out in anger. I've actually had moments where I got into fights with my brothers and essentially blacked out, and I mean fistfights, not squabbles. It really scared me that these things happen to me, so I've started to try and find more healthy ways to vent my anger. I haven't had a day like that in years. 

I've learned to warn people if I'm feeling angry, and that kind of helps, but if the other person is stupid enough to keep getting on my nerves, I will explode. 


Once I was out at a party and my friend and I had a fight. I got so angry at him, that my other friends, who had nothing to do with the fight, were afraid of me. Obviously since we both were drunk, we didn't really remember what we fought about, but I'm quite sure we said pretty mean things to each other.

 

[hades_leae]

I'm sure you're not, it's something that I think we all have suffered from at some point in our lives because we don't understand how to counter what we are feeling. You don't want to explode on people like you do, but you don't really know what to do to fix it, which is okay because it's not your fault. 


I would just recommend trying to explain what you are feeling to the person who is making you feel a certain way, but you don't open up to them in that moment when you probably should. It might help you to feel much better in the long run, and explosions are less likely to happen, maybe never again. Just try new methods of getting out what you feel in a calm way.

 

[111kg]

I am pretty much a relaxed person most of the times. I will forget what others have said about me almost immediately, I won't reply in an agressive manner and so on. However, there are days in which everything seems to go wrong and there is always some person who keeps nagging me. I do stay quiet, but after a while, I let them have it.

 

[Choochoo]

I do tend to just keep things to myself because that's how I was trained to deal with things growing up. That's why with the kids in my family now I try to let them understand as much as possible that they can speak their mind and discuss with me and with other adults absolutely anything and so far it seems to work because they look way more well adjusted than I was at their age. Thankfully I have never blown up on someone as of yet but it is a worry of mine sometimes that I will not be able to control myself one day, though fortunately I am a little calmer now than I was back then so I don't worry about it as much anymore. 

 

[Alex]

I think what the OP says @x0xLikeMex0x is one of the main causes of depression and anxiety, in that we bottle up things and then when it gets too much we explode and all that time, the body was suffering and being anxious. One problem is that society expects us to do this, but it's not really a good thing to do, but neither is blurting out everything. There is a time and place for everything, but even so some people don't want to hear the truth, and prefer people to put up and shut up. That's why I do advocate walking away when you know it's fruitless, not to admit defeat, but to know your energy is best used elsewhere.


I have recently on a smaller scale yelled at my parents because they were doing things that made my life difficult. I didn't say anything because one is in ill health and any stress could literally kill him. So I did have to bottle things up, but those were extenuating circumstances. I try not to bottle up things too much, and when I know there is no hope, I cut and break free.

 

[x0xLikeMex0x]

I think what the OP says @x0xLikeMex0x is one of the main causes of depression and anxiety, in that we bottle up things and then when it gets too much we explode and all that time, the body was suffering and being anxious. One problem is that society expects us to do this, but it's not really a good thing to do, but neither is blurting out everything. There is a time and place for everything, but even so some people don't want to hear the truth, and prefer people to put up and shut up. That's why I do advocate walking away when you know it's fruitless, not to admit defeat, but to know your energy is best used elsewhere.


I have recently on a smaller scale yelled at my parents because they were doing things that made my life difficult. I didn't say anything because one is in ill health and any stress could literally kill him. So I did have to bottle things up, but those were extenuating circumstances. I try not to bottle up things too much, and when I know there is no hope, I cut and break free.

I used to have a diary where I would write down all the things that bothered me. It worked for a while to unload all the things that bottled up inside, but now I really don't have time to write these things down. So now I've opted to the "avoid the cause of problem until you calm down" option. 


The journal I kept was quite similar to gratitude journal. I had a list of questions, where I would randomly pick 3-5 questions and answer them honestly. For example:

• "What made you happy today?"
  
• "What could've you done today to make tomorrow better?"
  
• "Where do you see yourself in a month/6months/year/5 years?" 
  
• "What relationships I'm grateful of?" 
  

Or sometimes I would use questions that didn't go so deep like: What kind of music I listened today? 10 random songs on my playlist; What I wore today? 


There's so far been only one person, whom I always say what I think and don't bottle up - my grandma. My mom has major complexes because of her. I've said quite bad things to my grandma, but in my honest opinion - she deserves it for mentally abusing my mom since she was little. It has gotten to the point that she's afraid to use mental terror on me, because she knows that I have stronger arguments and I "bark a lot" as she herself says. 

 

[Panic57]

I can usually bottle up most of my emotions for the sake of decorum or while taking other people's emotions into consideration.  In the long run, I can weigh out my immediate reaction to the long term consequences of their relations to my expressions.  I have exploded a couple times.  i remember this one time, my sister accused me of stealing her clothes, which she did all the time when she needed to.  She didn't knock on my door, or just walk in, she kicked the door open and started yelling at me for her clothes back.  I fold her to f off and that it was probably in the laundry room.  She really thought she was going to search my room, the invasion of privacy was completely rude. 

 

[explorerX7]

I tend to bottle up things that bother me and there are times I want to explode because of the pent up emotions in most cases I am able to subdue myself but there are times where no matter how hard I try, I have to let it all out. This sometimes creates an ackward situation for me but sometimes I have to blow off some steam.

 

[kgord]

I have sometimes had those bottling up and lashing out things as well. Generally, I am a pretty calm person, and even if people annoy me, I can deal with it, however, sometimes it becomes a bit too much..In general, I think that although you don't have to mention every little thing that someone does, that you don't agree with...it is not a good idea to let them fester so that an explosion is reached.

 

[sidney]

I lash out verbally as soon as someone annoys me, especially here at home. For me what I tend to "bottle" is my violent intentions to those who annoy me, like I really want to harm them or hit them, but like in my case, it's my dad so it's a sure thing I would lose. I am only able to hit him if we were outside the house exposed to people since he is ashamed of being in an embarrassing situation.

 

[DDNatureLover]

I've always been a high energy sort of person, when I felt good, everyone knew about it, and I don't really see the point in hiding when I'm in pain, but I do sometimes bottle things up, as well. I used to expect the person I was with to intuitively understand how I was feeling, and respond accordingly, but I've learned over the years to verbalize more, otherwise there are issues. I do explode at times, particularly when I have told someone something again and again, and been ignored. I can put up with a lot, but if I tell you something a few times, there's a reason for it. Obviously it's something important to me, and I expect those in my orbit to comprehend that. I know people who blow up if they don't always have every little thing their way, and I often wonder what they will do when life kicks them the way it has some of us, and whether they will be able to cope. 

 

[janemariesayed]

As I have got older I have managed to calm my temper down. It may also be because I don't have so much to do with people now as I did in my younger years. I keep myself to myself and one of the reasons is my anger problem. I would bottle things up, then like turning up the heat under a pressure cooker, I would just explode over something which wouldn't necessarily warrant such an outburst. I put up with so much, say nothing, then I may start saying something about what is bothering me. But I am not listened to and eventually, I lose my rag and blow my top.

My ex boyfriend was brilliant. If we ever had an argument, we would whisper. Yes, actually shout in a whisper. It meant we never raised our voices to each other and no one could hear us arguing.

When I get angry sometimes I feel like I want to lash out at them and give them lots of punches in the face so they stop hurting me. We can't do that though and honestly, I wouldn't want to actually injure anyone so I tend to walk away in a huff and never speak with them again.

 

[AngelaMc]

I tend to bottle up all those little things that bother or annoy me. I've always liked to believe that I'm straight forward about things like that, but I'm finally admitting that I've been wrong the whole time.


And when things get too much I explode. I might say things that I don't want to say and upset people really badly. Once I exploded at my dad and he ended up ignoring and not speaking to me for entire month. When I tried to apologize, he didn't accept it and pretty much told me to go f myself. We're OK now though.


These kinds of "explosions" don't happen often, but when they do, it might just end up like hell on Earth.


So I'm wondering if I'm the only "explosive" person here?

xOxLikeMexOx, I am glad to hear you and your Dad are okay now. I have done this a time or two also. Sometimes it's hard to bite my tongue and my words seem to cut deep. Now when I feel that boiling point of explosion starting to churn I take a step back, and take a deep breath before I start to speak, and that has helped so far.