Anxiety and Relationships

At the moment I am steering well clear of relationships. I think I need to sort myself out, sort my head out before I can enter into something serious like that. I've had relationships and been married twice but neither of them worked out. They probably didn't work out because of my mental state. I don't think that getting involved while I know I am like this is fair to the other person involved. Some people, however, draw immense strength from their partners while others feel that they are letting them down.

Well, not a relationship, but I do have family who are like that. They get short-tempered with me and tell me off for being "too negative" or "complaining too much." Sometimes they don't understand my 'fight and flight' response and get annoyed when I ask to leave an event early or when I refuse to do something that takes me out of my comfort zone.

It makes me feel inferior and upset when they get annoyed with me, anxiety is difficult enough on it's on, let alone being verbally attacked for not being able to manage it.

So now I try to hang around people who understand and are patient with me. It makes anxiety so much easier to cope with when I know I am able to take my time and that I won't be criticized if I need to take care of myself.

I was in a relationship like that, obviously things didn't end well. If you're dating someone and that person doesn't understand and support you completely, it's going to be a waste of time in the end. You both are supposedly going to be together for the rest of your lives, you ought to learn how to treat each other good.

In my last relationship, my anxiety was never the issue. That guy wouldn't have realized it because he was too self-absorbed.

My brother's reaction to my anxiety attacks, however, is a different story. Sometimes, I don't even realize it, but he does. He's quite sensitive to changes in my speech patterns and gestures. When he calmly offers me a glass of water in my own home, that often stops me in my tracks. He would gently tell me to relax and sit down whenever he sees me agitated or pacing back and forth in the house. He has a penchant for coming over when I'm down. I haven't met a guy who can understand me or my needs in the same way. I'm lucky to have him around.