The Shakes

It sounds like you are very anxious which is why you are getting the shakes and fidgeting. Are you on the Klonopin daily? If you are I wonder if it could be that reason that you are feeling like you are. Maybe you can ask your Doctor if a different medication would be better for you. If you aren't able to get to him, you could arrange for a telephone appointment with him.

Mental health isn't understood very well, especially by those who have never suffered it. They think that it is all in our mind. Ha ha, yes of course it is in our mind! What I mean is that they think we are either putting it on or are confused about our feelings. They think that we should pull ourselves together and be normal. Whatever normal is supposed to be?

Perhaps you could try to put a few drops of lavender oil on your pillow, that may help you to sleep better as it relaxes you and makes you feel sleepy. You could also try to have a cup of hot herbal tea before you sleep. Such as valerian or chamomile. You are not going crazy @XmasCarol52 and if you are crazy, don't worry because I'm crazy too. You just have a problem like the rest of us on here. Our feelings are normal for whatever reason we have them. You may start to feel better when the weather warms up and you feel like going out more.

Ahh yes. Shaking and nervousness, the door prize of every anxiety disorder. I have too experienced this . I'm really sorry that you had to go through it. Your not crazy. You are mentally ill. I have panic disorder. Such symptoms happen to me alot. And what aggravates me is that it happens out of the blue. The doctor just put me on paxil. Maybe it will help. I hope so. Keep your head held up high and remember they are just feelings, your not going to die. Never wonder why you feel the way you do, just recognize it for what it is and as hard as it is. Believe me it is so hard, try to stay calm.

Your drawings are cute. I kinda know what your saying about seeing things when awakening in the middle of the night except I see rainbow colors. You think it could be our medication too? I dont know. And yes I totally agree with you on one point you made. Mental illness is always put on the back burner and it's a sad thing. It really is. And things have to change.

Can I ask you a personal question? I'm sorry if I offend you. But, is your anxiety due to trauma or did it just pop up 1 day out of the blue? Mine . It popped out of the blue . If yours did too. Do like i'm about to do and get your hormones tested. Your hormones control just about every part of your body including your adrenal and pituitary gland and even the hypothalamus. All team up to effect your mood and the way a person handles stress. Please do this. Hormonal testing could be the answer. I'm hoping anyway. Hope is what keeps us going everyday.

The first panic attack is always the worst and yes... I know how you feel when you say a gagging feeling. This life with anxiety. .. not alot of people understand what we go through and let's face it even the mental health professionals don't get it. Unless you've experienced it, you just can't even begin to understand. I had constant agitation for a year and a half. My life was always based around a schedule . I wake up. Take my busbar. Keep busy, always keep busy because if you dont... you will be sitting there anticipating another attack. During this time, my chest stayed tight and I also felt pain. I got off caffeine and still... nothing. I couldn't take a shower , I would always feel as though I was drowning. I did it anyway, I couldn't go anywhere in a car, I did it anyway. I had a panic attack each and every time I did these things . BUT I STILL DID IT. It is so hard to live the type of life we have to live. So so hard. I'm limited in my life. Like you ,I don't like to go anywhere. I can only travel for 10 minutes in a car. That all I can stand. I thankfully found a job where I am basically left alone. I do prep work for a local restaurant. A 5 minute drive. I stay in the back room , cut my lettuce and tomato and go home. I hate summer too. The heat makes me feel as though I am having a heat stroke. I get dizzy light headed and I start to hyperventilate. It's hard enough that I don't have air conditioning unit in my car. Winter bother me too, it literally takes my breathe away. It makes me feel as though my blood pressure is low. And I try so hard to ignore all this and move on with my life the best I can but, it's just so hard. This hormone test is my last hope. I am hoping for some type of resolution. I'm praying for it. Th e first panic attack I had . I was 17 and when riding in a car with friends having a good time , like you ,I started to feel like I was choking and my vision got weird I couldn't see. It scared me . I thought I was having a stroke. And following that, was my year and a half hell. I finally decided not to allow my anxiety to victimize me. I got mad at it . I decided 1 day that enough was enough. So everytime I would have a symptom I would say to myself "fine go ahead, i'm not afraid anymore " . Let me tell you, It was 1 of the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I convinced myself that I was not going to die from this. So, my advice to you is. GET MAD AT IT. DON'T LET THIS WIN. Lord help me it's going to be hard and I am far from normal,far... lol. But, my life has improved some. That's just my advice. You know yourself better than anyone . Only you can decide what's best for you.

I have anticipatory anxiety too. My doctor is 10 minutes away from work. That's awesome but, still I feel anxious. I have something called a checkpoint system. Convenience store, checkpoint, grocery store, checkpoint, barbecue restaurant, checkpoint until finally. . I'm there. Have you ever had an evaluation done? It's always the same, questionaire, ink blot test you know, the usual. Nothing to be nervous about. They are going to probably put you on different medication too. I didn't celebrate the holidays because my mother In law is an hours drive and I was to afraud to go. As far as going outdoors , some days I can and others I can't. The sun bother my eyes and I love a cloudy rainy day. Ask for ativan, I love the stuff. In my opinion it works alot better than Depakote. And your right, you can't always control anxiety attacks, they've sent me to the er. Yikes. Let me know your your appointment goes.

I always feel more comfortable with a female doctor too. Have you ever gotten your sarotonin levels checked? I think I will do that too in addition to my hormones being tested. Have you ever tried paxil? I ask because my doctor prescribed it to me. Kinda nervous to take it because of my past experience with SSRI medication. If you have tried it, what were your side effects if any? Did it at least help? Might wait to take this medication until my doctor does those blood test next month.

I'm really glad that you had a good day. My depression has hot me down today. Cried alot. I remember those days that I could barely leave the house. I still have my problems, I can't do much and I can't go far but, being outside means the world no matter how long i'm outside.